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Thread: Peaches Geldof dies aged 25

  1. #361
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    I agree completely --"the crap about marriage and kids straightening these people out was completely self serving and untrue". I really dislike reading comments such as "a 2nd chance at life"...addicts are liars/desperate and most will disappoint. I'm sorry but that's the way it is. I'm not saying addicts shouldn't have kids but my God, they should have a strong support system in place. Not a plan of hiding drugs when an OD occurs. Addicts are addicts --plain and simple. Relapse happens and no one is ever 100% cured or 2nd chanced.
    Quote Originally Posted by rollo View Post
    Of course they knew. She had been cautioned for buying heroin, the death of that poor 18 year old implicated her in his diary and I am sure there are other things now covered up and sanitized to make her and her mother 'not that bad' and a victim of circumstances. Paula was a groupie who chased the newly famous Bob Geldof who did not want to settle down in the slightest. From past reports about both of them, it wasn't the happy clappy family story that was sold repeatedly to tabloids and magazines right up until Paula's death. Peaches was set on a path of copying this exact same fundraising method only now including Twitter and You Tube and any other media she could think of.

    The crap about marriage and kids straightening these people out was completely self serving and untrue.

  2. #362
    Elite Member Sarzy's Avatar
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    So they did find the stuff after all.

    RT @SkySuchet: Kent police have clarified they DID find drugs paraphernalia at Peaches home address, contrary to what The Times reported.
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  3. #363
    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neptunia View Post
    I wonder why you would be drawn towards trying heroin, as opposed to being frightened by it for killing your mother.
    Sometimes when it all gets too much people will retreat into the familiar, even when they know that the familiar is also the dangerous.
    I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. Hunter S Thompson

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  4. #364
    Elite Member effie2's Avatar
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    So,everybody knew what most people was suspecting,no one,no loving husband ,no devastated daddy or sisters did anything about those kids,they all enabled her to keep up the money earning image..nice.
    My own niece is a recovered junkie.Her parents and brother had to attend a 5 year program.A very hard one with strict rules.They all graduated.She is married,working and a mother now.The family,s sacrifices werent in vain.
    It is hard and it doesnt work for everybody..i just dont see any effort done to save her or her kids..You have to be hard and devoted to your cause,if not you are simply enabling ...
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  5. #365
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    Glad your niece came through the other side, effie. Good on the family for putting in the effort - shame 'Saint' Bob et al didn't do the same.
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  6. #366
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    I understand that addicts are addicts and have whole range of difficult issues to deal with. My point is that these people were NOT addicts the first time they stuck a needle in their arm, or smoked crack, or snorted cocaine or (insert drug). The risks of this behaviour are well known and any semi-intelligent person knows full well the likely outcome (addiction) if they continue to use. If you have grown up in a family of addicts then these risks should be even more self evident. Or is part of having an addictive personality the "oh it will never happen to me. I can stop any time" mentality.

    I've seen St Bob Geldof portrayed as the selfless husband and father who never smoked, drank or did drugs. Bullshit. He may be on the wagon now - that stuff catches up with you after a while - and maybe he was never an addict, but he sure as hell knew all the pitfalls of a druggy lifestyle, eg Paula's fucked up later years, so he of all people should have been keeping a very close watch on his daughter and, more important, his grandsons. I'm not blaming him for the mess, but trying to cover up the truth is just another form of enabling.

    He's a high profile crusader for all kinds of good causes and I think he genuinely has a good heart, albeit a bit sanctimonious and strident sometimes. How about some stridency on the shattering effects of drug use and abuse from the viewpoint of a parent/grandparent who's left to pick up the pieces of his daughter's bad decisions? I would certainly respect him for that.
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  7. #367
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    Quote Originally Posted by sputnik View Post
    ^^^^
    i just have a whole lot of crazy on both sides of the family that manifests in many different forms, from alcoholism, drug addiction, pathological liars, depression, narcissism, eating disorders, OCD, man-whoring, kleptomania, enabling, delusional paranoia and hallucinations... a couple of relatives have all or most of these going on at once. good times.

    no gamblers or wife beaters, surprisingly.

    eta: never mind. i just remembered my mom's grandpa was an inveterate gambler. at the start of the 20th century, he lost his house with everything in it in a card game. went home and told his wife and kids they had to leave with the clothes on their backs and couldn't take anything else with them.
    My maternal grandfather did the exact same thing-gambled his family's house away in a poker game. When my mother tells the story it is heartbreaking to hear. He was also a severe alcoholic. By the time I was born, he had stopped drinking completely, but the damage to his children was already done. Two of his kids were severe alcoholics, while the other two (one being my mom) are not. My mother intentionally parented in a very different style from the way she was parented, but as far as I am concerned, the fact that she and my uncle are not addicts, is nothing more than bullshit genetic luck.
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  8. #368
    Elite Member Sarzy's Avatar
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    Bob was hardly involved in Peaches life near the end. In an interview not long before her death she said he didn't see her kids and it's 'his loss'.

  9. #369
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    Quote Originally Posted by effie2 View Post
    So,everybody knew what most people was suspecting,no one,no loving husband ,no devastated daddy or sisters did anything about those kids,they all enabled her to keep up the money earning image..nice.
    My own niece is a recovered junkie.Her parents and brother had to attend a 5 year program.A very hard one with strict rules.They all graduated.She is married,working and a mother now.The family,s sacrifices werent in vain.
    It is hard and it doesnt work for everybody..i just dont see any effort done to save her or her kids..You have to be hard and devoted to your cause,if not you are simply enabling ...
    I think a good support system along with good treatment is paramount to success with recovery. If you look at Lindsay (as an example), even the best treatment seems like a good intention with out the support system to back it up. I commend your family for doing their best for your niece to be able to do her best.

    I also realize that even some with the best treatment and willing support systems can fail miserably.

    It's all very, very sad. I can't find it in my heart to condemn her.

    I don't think the love she had for her children was bullshit. I think it was very real and whatever demons she had were so strong that she couldn't beat them on her own with out a lot of people working along with her to help her make it happen. And even if she did, she may just have not been able to.

    We are all wired differently. If we take a look at how many different experiences people have with different legal meds that change brain chemistry or cause addiction, it's pretty apparent that my experience with xyz drug is not going to be the same as many others. Agree with whoever said that saying what we would do is pretty pointless when we aren't that particular person and I think it's almost like apples and oranges. Though I get the allure of that thought process. I really do. I just can't feel like she should have known better. She certainly didn't seem to have many people willing to help her learn better.
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  10. #370
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarzy View Post
    Bob was hardly involved in Peaches life near the end. In an interview not long before her death she said he didn't see her kids and it's 'his loss'.
    I suspect he was well aware of what was going on and either washed his hands of her, or she withdrew unwilling to get help.
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  11. #371
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    The whole thing is so weird with the attachment parenting guru getting time off at weekends while hubby took the babies to be watched by the grandparents leaving her alone at weekends to 'work.' It seemed to be some kind of routine they had established, after uploading the obligatory family selfies of course.

  12. #372
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    We are all wired differently. If we take a look at how many different experiences people have with different legal meds that change brain chemistry or cause addiction, it's pretty apparent that my experience with xyz drug is not going to be the same as many others. Agree with whoever said that saying what we would do is pretty pointless when we aren't that particular person and I think it's almost like apples and oranges. Though I get the allure of that thought process. I really do. I just can't feel like she should have known better. She certainly didn't seem to have many people willing to help her learn better.
    I understand where you are coming from, but heroin is not one of those drugs that affects users differently. No matter who you are, heroin is one of the most addictive drugs out there and one can become addicted to it even the first time it is used. With one parent who died from a drug overdose and another parent who dabbled in many types of drugs, and being a celebrity herself surrounded by drug users and abusers, the sad fact is that she DID know better and she chose drugs anyway. Heroin is a very addictive, destructive drug and anyone who has been around it knows it. Now, if she got hooked on opiates because she had an injury and was prescribed an opiate, became addicted, then started to use heroin because she could no longer get pain meds and needed a similar high, that's a sympathetic story. But a rich woman with everything to live for who decides to shoot up when she KNOWS how dangerous the drug is, and who knows that she has two children depending on her-- that is selfish plain and simple. She might not have been a bad person, but she intentionally made bad choices, and now her loved ones are suffering.

    She was a grown woman and as sad as it is, she wasn't willing to be better. It's not others' duty to recognize that she needed help and to help her. She had to recognize that herself and either couldn't or just didn't.

    I dont mean mean to sound unsympathetic but I have worked with a lot of drug addicts and it is what it is. It's a tragedy either way.
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  13. #373
    Elite Member NoNoRehab's Avatar
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    I've known way too many loved ones of addicts who did everything they could, who went above and beyond only to lose someone, to believe the bull that anyone can recover as long as they have the right family support and it's just up the loved ones to "do the right thing." It's bullshit and a guilt trip to lay on the survivors.
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  14. #374
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarzy View Post
    Bob was hardly involved in Peaches life near the end. In an interview not long before her death she said he didn't see her kids and it's 'his loss'.
    If that is true, he may actually have been doing what he felt was right to help her. IMO, my sister's recovery has been hampered by my parents' involvement, particularly my dad's. In the beginning, they tried to deny it and then for a while threw themselves into helping her (multiple rehab stays, getting her in various programs, etc). When those proved futile, I think they should have cut her off. Not as a punishment, but in order to help her. My father was just not able to do it. I don't begrudge him that. She's his daughter. We're both huge Daddy's girls and even I'm not afraid to admit I've manipulated that in the past (more for mall money or to get out of trouble as a kid, but I know he'd do anything for me even now if I turned on the tears) He would ask himself "what if she really was mugged this time? What if she really is sleeping on the street?" and give in. Instead, when she'd ask me, the question was, "what if this is the last drug she ever does? What if I end up paying for her overdose?" Addicts will find a way to get high if they want to, but sometimes all a family can do is try not to make it easy. Cut off funds, cut off support, and hope they feel cornered enough to seek help before it's too late.

    Maybe Bob had tried to intervene and when that proved futile, decided he could no longer support her lifestyle or enable her destructive behavior. Still, I would have gone for the kids. My niece and nephew suffered a lot before my sister lost custody and my dad got them. And had my parents dug their heads out of the sand sooner and faced what was going on, they could have been removed from that house before they were irrevocably damaged. They are stronger for what they went through, but they will probably never be as happy as they could have been had they not witnessed all that. Still, I can't condemn him. He's lost enough.

    ETA: Just want to point out that heroin is hardly ever the first drug someone does. Nor are people turned into addicts by using it. They are usually already there. My sister started on opiates (oxys) and graduated to heroin, but before that it was prescription pills, ecstasy, molly, coke on occasion, mushrooms, pot, etc. She spent her whole life using various substances, but because she's an addict never found herself sated. Regular people experiment and eventually hit a wall where the novelty wears off. Addicts keep pushing and pushing until they're at edge of the cliff with only heroin left. Then they jump.
    Last edited by manningmsj; May 2nd, 2014 at 08:58 PM.
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  15. #375
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    At my brother's treatment facility, they actually encourage financially cutting off the addict and limiting social contact with them if they will not get and stay clean and refuse attempts by family and friends to help them with their sobriety. We were told that it's important for family members to make it clear that drug use is not acceptable, and holding the person accountable for their drug use is part of that. You have to let them know that if they're going to continue to use, you will not support them - financially or otherwise. You are there for them if they want to get clean, but if they're going to choose drugs, they're on their own.

    If Bob had "washed his hands of Peaches," as reports say, it may have been because of something like this. It sounds harsh, but continuing to interact with the addict as if nothing has changed when they will not stop using is a form of enabling. We already know Peaches had no problem choosing drugs over her kids, so I doubt she'd have any qualms about choosing drugs over her dad, either. Although I do think if he knew she was using, he should have had the kids removed from her custody. I'm not sure how that works over there, though.
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