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Thread: Peaches Geldof dies aged 25

  1. #331
    Elite Member yanna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kasippu View Post
    Or advocate attachment parenting, please do not tell me she was a junkie and breastfeeding?
    I don't know. Was the baby sleeping through the night?

    I have a co-worker who was smoking while breastfeeding. Always found it gross. Now her kid has had her stomach pumped twice cause she ate cigarettes. Imagine if it were mummy's heroin instead!

  2. #332
    Elite Member southernbelle's Avatar
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    There is no excuse for using drugs while caring for her children, whose safety and well-being is her responsibility. Even if this was a one-time relapse. It's not like she couldn't afford to get help. The minute she was tempted to use again, she should have checked herself into rehab. She had the resources to get as much help and support as she needed, and she chose not to.
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  3. #333
    Elite Member NoNoRehab's Avatar
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    I've heard countless people in the media make excuses for Lindsay Lohan's asshole-ness for years and demand we have sympathy for her because of her background, why not have sympathy for Peaches? Her mom was a heroin addict for almost her entire life, and I'm sure it fucked her up, and unlike Lindsay, I've never heard about Peaches treating the people around her like shit. It does seem like she cleaned up her act and probably pulled a Philip Seymour Hoffman or Amy Winehouse: fell off the wagon and killed herself because she didn't have the tolerance she used to.
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  4. #334
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    I find it amusing when people talk about how addicts should have behaved and the decisions they should have made. After all, who better can we expect to make good decisions than an addict?
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  5. #335
    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gas_chick View Post
    No matter how she died it is still a tragedy for those babies and her family. Would an ED really have been much better at the end of the day? Still an addictive behavior. I hope the rest of her family will finally get this demon off their back.
    Not really no, but the thought of her using in front of the baby disturbs.

    Quote Originally Posted by sluce View Post
    I find it amusing when people talk about how addicts should have behaved and the decisions they should have made. After all, who better can we expect to make good decisions than an addict?
    It makes me tilt my head and go huh? Like using is the same thing as choosing what shoes you'll wear that day.

  6. #336
    Elite Member southernbelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoNoRehab View Post
    Her mom was a heroin addict for almost her entire life, and I'm sure it fucked her up, and unlike Lindsay, I've never heard about Peaches treating the people around her like shit.
    This is exactly why she should have known better. She saw firsthand the impact that choosing heroin over your kids has on a child, and she did it anyway. And doing drugs while you're responsible for two children who depend on you is what I would consider to be treating people like shit. It shows a blatant disregard for their safety and their needs.

    I think it's critically important to hold addicts accountable for their choices and actions, and that was actually the primary thing stressed at my brother's treatment facility. I'd actually have more sympathy for someone like Lindsay Lohan, because she doesn't have anyone depending on her. When an addict has kids but chooses to continue doing drugs anyway, all sympathy goes out the window. When Peaches made the decision to be a mother, she was committing to protect these boys and put their needs before her own, and if she was not willing or able to do that at any time, she should have reached out for help. Whether that meant having a stable support system in place before they were even born, or taking responsibility and reaching out for help the moment she was tempted - BEFORE she used again - she should have done it. Addicts are not incapable of asking for help. And someone with a history of drug abuse, both in her family and her own drug use, should have taken every precaution to make sure her kids were not at risk because of her addiction. Unless she was brain dead in addition to being a drug addict, she had the capacity to recognize that she was endangering herself and her kids, and she had the responsibility to do something about it.

    Every time an addict uses, he or she is making a choice to start that cycle of drug abuse again. It takes a lot of willpower and support for addicts to choose not to do drugs, but they do have a choice, and they do have the mental capacity (assuming they are of normal intelligence to begin with) to decide they WANT to get clean and ask for help. It is too late for Peaches, but maybe another addict will see the devastation this has caused her family and decide to ask for the help they need before it's too late - instead of resorting to the easier choice: the excuse that they can't stop and aren't to blame.

  7. #337
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by southernbelle View Post
    I think it's critically important to hold addicts accountable for their choices and actions
    well, she's dead so i think it's fair to say she paid the price.
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  8. #338
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    What is so terrible is that she brought 2 babies into the world knowing she was an addict...this seems to be what everyone is in agreement with.
    Its sad, its selfish and I would personally never bring children into that situation. But also she seemed to be a lost soul from birth... I cant imagine floating thru life holding the burden that your mom was a junkie whom ultimately chose drugs over you and your siblings. AND I don't care if it was an accidental overdose by her mother--she picked the chance of an OD over Peaches and her siblings.
    Maybe Peaches never had a chance, but she shouldn't have brought 2 innocent babies into the world.
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  9. #339
    Elite Member faithanne's Avatar
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    Maybe she wasn't an addict when she had children. Should addicts give up on life completely once they get clean? If they want to stay on the straight and narrow, the chance of a family in their future could be good incentive to keep off the gear.
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  10. #340
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by southernbelle View Post
    This is exactly why she should have known better. She saw firsthand the impact that choosing heroin over your kids has on a child, and she did it anyway. And doing drugs while you're responsible for two children who depend on you is what I would consider to be treating people like shit. It shows a blatant disregard for their safety and their needs.

    I think it's critically important to hold addicts accountable for their choices and actions, and that was actually the primary thing stressed at my brother's treatment facility. I'd actually have more sympathy for someone like Lindsay Lohan, because she doesn't have anyone depending on her. When an addict has kids but chooses to continue doing drugs anyway, all sympathy goes out the window. When Peaches made the decision to be a mother, she was committing to protect these boys and put their needs before her own, and if she was not willing or able to do that at any time, she should have reached out for help. Whether that meant having a stable support system in place before they were even born, or taking responsibility and reaching out for help the moment she was tempted - BEFORE she used again - she should have done it. Addicts are not incapable of asking for help. And someone with a history of drug abuse, both in her family and her own drug use, should have taken every precaution to make sure her kids were not at risk because of her addiction. Unless she was brain dead in addition to being a drug addict, she had the capacity to recognize that she was endangering herself and her kids, and she had the responsibility to do something about it.

    Every time an addict uses, he or she is making a choice to start that cycle of drug abuse again. It takes a lot of willpower and support for addicts to choose not to do drugs, but they do have a choice, and they do have the mental capacity (assuming they are of normal intelligence to begin with) to decide they WANT to get clean and ask for help. It is too late for Peaches, but maybe another addict will see the devastation this has caused her family and decide to ask for the help they need before it's too late - instead of resorting to the easier choice: the excuse that they can't stop and aren't to blame.
    If only it were that simplistic and that easy. I am thrilled your brother got help and is doing well. But remember, One Day at a Time is a motto for a reason. The average person needs multiple attempts at recovery before it sticks. Even then it is a day to day struggle for many. They believe they have their shit together, and move on with life, only to have the addiction rear its ugly head again. Yes they get to make a choice but you have completely lost sight of the fact that NO ONE CHOOSES TO BE AN ADDICT. Do you really believe they can process the decision and make good choices. If they could they wouldn't need treatment at all. Why did your brother need treatment? Why didn't he just realize he was having a problem and CHOOSE to stop without needing treatment?
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  11. #341
    A*O
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    Once you are in the grip of an addiction then making rational choices isn't easy or even possible sometimes. But in order to become addicted you have made a series of choices that were within your power to make (or not). I guess that's where I get frustrated with the "oh but they couldn't help themselves" argument - there was a point before you got hooked when you COULD help yourself and being pregnant or caring for very young children is a very good reason to say No.

    Peaches would have known better than most the damage and destruction that drugs cause whole families yet she still went ahead and used again. I'm not convinced she ever stopped actually. And I doubt her lovely husband was blameless here either.

    It's such a waste.
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  12. #342
    Elite Member NoNoRehab's Avatar
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    So once you become a parent you never make a mistake again?

    The fact is, we don't know what support system she had or not. Friends have said she got clean before she had her kids. She could've been doing great, had a great support system, genuinely been on a good road as far as everyone in her life knew. Addicts are good at hiding shit. Or maybe she wasn't hiding anything and this was the first and last time she fell off the wagon. From what I've heard, heroin takes away the pain and makes you feel like you don't have a care in the world. Maybe she got stressed over something (like her mom, as it was Mother's Day) and felt the old pull and thought, "Just one more time..." and bam.

    Philip Seymour Hoffman had young kids and had been clean for something like 15 years before he died earlier this year. He relapsed and his body couldn't handle shit like it did when he was younger. Amy Winehouse was supposedly in a good place, had finally booted the users from her life like Blaaaake, and had been clean for a while until the night she died when she got drunk again. It's really dangerous when addicts relapse because often they've worked up to massive levels of drugs or booze that their bodies could tolerate because it was a gradual build. But then they get clean and don't have that tolerance anymore, so when they relapse they just hit themselves with the old dose that used to get them high. There aren't many addicts who relapse by going, "Well okay, I'll just take a tiny hit," or, "Just one glass of wine" and stopping there. Old habits die hard.
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  13. #343
    Elite Member southernbelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sluce View Post
    If only it were that simplistic and that easy. I am thrilled your brother got help and is doing well. But remember, One Day at a Time is a motto for a reason. The average person needs multiple attempts at recovery before it sticks. Even then it is a day to day struggle for many. They believe they have their shit together, and move on with life, only to have the addiction rear its ugly head again. Yes they get to make a choice but you have completely lost sight of the fact that NO ONE CHOOSES TO BE AN ADDICT. Do you really believe they can process the decision and make good choices. If they could they wouldn't need treatment at all. Why did your brother need treatment? Why didn't he just realize he was having a problem and CHOOSE to stop without needing treatment?
    I don't think that anyone chooses to be an addict, but I do think that Peaches should have been capable of realizing that she was not in a position to care for children, and (once she had the children) that further drug use was unacceptable and any temptation to use should warrant immediate help - as in, that moment. Pick up the phone and call someone to come get the kids and get her into a facility. My brother ultimately realized he was having a problem and he chose to ask for help. He voluntarily entered inpatient rehab. The distinction between Peaches and my brother, for me, is that he was a college frat boy with no dependents, and Peaches was a mother. He chose drugs over his education - stupid, but ultimately it doesn't hurt anyone but himself. She chose drugs over her kids.

    ETA: This pretty much sums up exactly how I feel
    Quote Originally Posted by A*O View Post
    Once you are in the grip of an addiction then making rational choices isn't easy or even possible sometimes. But in order to become addicted you have made a series of choices that were within your power to make (or not). I guess that's where I get frustrated with the "oh but they couldn't help themselves" argument - there was a point before you got hooked when you COULD help yourself and being pregnant or caring for very young children is a very good reason to say No.

    Peaches would have known better than most the damage and destruction that drugs cause whole families yet she still went ahead and used again. I'm not convinced she ever stopped actually. And I doubt her lovely husband was blameless here either.

    It's such a waste.
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  14. #344
    A*O
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    There seems to have been plenty of "support" for Peaches with the rather futile/obvious attempts by her family and friends to cover up or obscure her cause of death even though most people guessed or knew the truth. I also know first hand the helpless frustration of watching an addict slowly destroy themself and how their fate ultimately lies in their own hands but when an addict becomes a parent it's time to grow the fuck up and think about someone else for a change. Sorry.
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  15. #345
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    Also this 'poor Peaches with her mother's background' refrain only goes so far. Tiger Lily has a WORSE background from the same family while Pixie allegedly enjoys 'partying' herself. So the focus on Peaches' 'lonely and unavoidable legacy' is wrong and should be on ALL the family. I would be interested to see if the others (including Bob- apart from getting married) make any obvious positive changes.

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