An Open Letter From Dylan Farrow

[MmeVertigina]

How credible is the nanny who initially reported all of this to Mia (including the head in the lap stuff)? Does anyone know if she had reported any awkward happenings between Dylan and Allen before the whole Soon Yi debacle?
Allen filed for custody shortly after these accusations, right? Or, had he filed and then the accusations came out and Mia was asking for full custody?
Yk, I have worked with Mr. Allen, this makes me an expert by NO means, I have no idea what his personal life was like (at the time I knew about Soon Yi but not Dylan), but I can buy what MrsDark is saying above about him not being in to kids, but perhaps being in to Dylan. I can't go into great detail, but I don't think the whole Lolita "type" was unappealing to him, which more fits with his (legal) relationship with Soon Yi, or other young women, but who were still in fact women technically or near womanhood, not super young girls (I guess maybe Soon Yi was 17, which in the US is underage to consent in some states and not others, correct? Please correct me if that is not true.) Again, this is just my personal experience, I never heard of him dating anyone who was a very, very young girl (this happens more frequently than you might think in certain industries), but I do think he was attracted to young ladies who were the Lolita type if that makes any sense. Sorry I can't get into more detail.
I think it would be great if Dylan came forward to specifically address the "Did Mia plant this in your head?" questions. She sort of did that by saying that Mia did tell her she could withdraw her molestation allegation, but she didn't address it in depth.
I have a hard time dismissing her accusations altogether; partially for personal reasons that have nothing to do with this case, for the way she states things and the time frame, and all of the odd instances leading up to the attic incident (if these other instances did in fact happen)--it seems very plausible that she is telling the truth. I do wonder about her relationship with her step sisters, it must really weigh on you to think that what happened to you could be happening to them repeatedly. I don't know if any of what I wrote makes much sense, this case is so disturbing to me.

[witchcurlgirl]

^^ Uh, he famously dated Stacy Nelkin, who was much younger, 17 to his 40-ish.................Anyway, this is going nowhere. Can we talk about the multiple sex assault allegations against Bill Cosby now? ​Who Wants to Remember Bill Cosby's Multiple Sex-Assault Accusations?

[sluce]

Bill has a long standing rep here in Philly for needing women each time he came for an event at his beloved Temple University.

[twitchy2.0]

Is that in his rider following the demand for Jell-O Pudding Pops?

[witchcurlgirl]

Also, nothing personal MmeVertigina, but there's nothing worse gossip wise than when someone says 'oh, i know some things about so and so but cannot say'. Either come out and say it, or don't say anything at all.

[MmeVertigina]

^^ Uh, he famously dated Stacy Nelkin, who was much younger, 17 to his 40-ish.................Anyway, this is going nowhere. Can we talk about the multiple sex assault allegations against Bill Cosby now? ​Who Wants to Remember Bill Cosby's Multiple Sex-Assault Accusations?

Yes, I mean very young age wise, like prepubescent, not having had menses yet. I think it is possible for pedophiles to be interested in prepubescent children and in young ladies, but I don't know how common it is.

Also, nothing personal MmeVertigina, but there's nothing worse gossip wise than when someone says 'oh, i know some things about so and so but cannot say'. Either come out and say it, or don't say anything at all.

Sorry. I told you what I felt and this was coming from my short experience working with him as a 21 year old who looked 15. I don't want to list the details of the film, it leaves me open on here. I was trying to be as helpful as I could be. I won't comment anymore on this thread.

[NoNoRehab]

One is that while I don't know if Woody Allen is guilty or not, Dylan Farrow has directly discounted the idea of Mia Farrow implanting a memory in her by saying that Mia Farrow herself told her at the time she could take back the accusations.

Seriously though, what else would you expect her to say? I don't know if Mia did anything or not, but the kid in question saying twenty years after the fact, "Mia didn't implant any memories because Mia said so" is hardly going to be convincing.

The strikes against Mia in my mind are (going only by Mia's story, because I've never heard Woody's side of the events) 1) She never notified the authorities after Dylan's allegation, 2) She spent at least a day alone with Dylan, interviewing her and recording her on video "in fits and starts" before taking the girl to a doctor, or any other independent authority, that could listen to Dylan's unprompted story alone and without influence from any of the adults involved, 3) the timing of the allegation, coming (by Mia's own admission) the next day after she and Woody had a big argument and he left in anger, and the day before she and Woody were to sign a financial and custody agreement.

Independent of the molestation allegations, Dylan had a very chaotic life. She'd already been in therapy since preschool. In just the first half of 1992 alone, when she was 6, she saw her sister be banned from the family after a fight with her mother, her older siblings arguing, her mother upset "and crying all the time" (in Mia's words), she was told by her mother that her father and sister were having an affair but then also saw her mother and father continue her own relationship, her mother adopted two more children into the family, both of them with severe special needs, and her parents were negotiating a custody agreement over her and her siblings while also finishing one movie and prepping another. (Plus I guess she was also having some problems fitting in at a new school.) That's a whole lot of shit going on for such a little kid.

[tulip]

He is just icky. I do believe the accusations, but even if I didn't, he is major icky and creepy and I don't like him. I have enjoyed a few of his movies, but I don't find him brilliant. I'm sure that has to do with the fact that in my mind the ickiness outweighs the talent.

[witchcurlgirl]

Sorry. I told you what I felt and this was coming from my short experience working with him as a 21 year old who looked 15. I don't want to list the details of the film, it leaves me open on here. I was trying to be as helpful as I could be. I won't comment anymore on this thread.

There's no need to stop quoting in the thread. and believe me, I don't want you to out yourself, I believe in our anonymity here. Many of us here have personal stories about or connections to celebs , some may choose to tell them here, and some don't. Either way it's fine.

[MmeVertigina]

There's no need to stop quoting in the thread. and believe me, I don't want you to out yourself, I believe in our anonymity here. Many of us here have personal stories about or connections to celebs , some may choose to tell them here, and some don't. Either way it's fine.

Thank you. Going to attempt to PM you on here.

[MohandasKGanja]

Seriously though, what else would you expect her to say? I don't know if Mia did anything or not, but the kid in question saying twenty years after the fact, "Mia didn't implant any memories because Mia said so" is hardly going to be convincing.

Well, to clarify - Dylan does not say, "Mia didn't implant any memories in me." Nor does she say, "Mia didn't tell me a story and ask me to remember it for authorities." Instead, she puts Mia in the position of stepping back and saying (I'm paraphrasing), "Okay, maybe this didn't happen. Dylan, you can take it back and say what happened isn't true, and you won't be in trouble." That not only puts Mia outside of the possibility of implanting the memory, and instead puts her in the position of being somewhat neutral or doubtful at one point about the allegations herself -- basically, the opposite of someone who is implanting a memory.

[sparkles]

I was molested when I was nine by my aunt's boyfriend. I didn't know quite what happened, but I had that feeling that you know something is wrong. Something just happened that was wrong and it made me feel sick. We were at my grandmother's house when it happened. I went in and told my mother I wanted to leave. I couldn't tell her why. I was in shock I guess. I knew that if I told anyone at the kitchen table what just happened to me, they all would have gone to jail for murder. On the car ride home, I finally got the courage to tell my mom what happened. She asked me and I will never forget, "Are you sure?" Which made me start to doubt what really took place. She told me it was best to forget about it and that she would make sure I was never left alone with him again. I wished someone would have told my cousins. Later, when were grown, I heard that one of my cousins has a lot of mental issues. It was due to being molested when she was younger. I have been talking to her and we both experienced the same thing except hers was way worse and the abuse happened for years. So much guilt I feel now because we never said anything. And this coming off from years of questioning myself if it really happened. I feel something did happen to Dylan and she has probably questioned herself for years. I know I finally realized that my questioning was because I didn't want it to have happened. Still makes me feel sick when I think about it.

I had a similar experience at about the age of 10 or so and I still remember the same sick feeling you are describing. I felt hot and then cold, and started feeling nauseated and lightheaded when I realized that something bad happened. Then I ran out of the building, jumped on my bicycle and sped home. The sick feeling stayed for years when what happened crossed my mind. It was only as an adult that I told anyone. I remember to this day what I wore. I never wore it again.

[sluce]

Triggers are a big deal in these cases. I had a client who connected yellow to her abuse because she was holding a yellow crayon the first time her big brother violated her. After that she refused to wear yellow and would rip out any yellow flowers her mom planted in the yard.

[CornFlakegrl]

These stories are so very sad.

[NoNoRehab]

Well, to clarify - Dylan does not say, "Mia didn't implant any memories in me." Nor does she say, "Mia didn't tell me a story and ask me to remember it for authorities." Instead, she puts Mia in the position of stepping back and saying (I'm paraphrasing), "Okay, maybe this didn't happen. Dylan, you can take it back and say what happened isn't true, and you won't be in trouble." That not only puts Mia outside of the possibility of implanting the memory, and instead puts her in the position of being somewhat neutral or doubtful at one point about the allegations herself -- basically, the opposite of someone who is implanting a memory.

Again, what else would she say? It's twenty years removed from the event and it's impossible to know what her memories really were from that time vs. what things she was told later vs. what she reveals to the press vs. if she wants to now to do, as an adult, to consciously protect Mia. It hardly puts Mia outside of the possibility of implanting a memory, because part of that manipulation is also in making the adult who is doing it blameless.

I don't doubt that Mia loves her children but I sense a pattern where she doesn't seem to have very good boundaries with them. For example, when she was mad at Soon-Yi, for Mia to think it was okay for her other kids to pile on Soon-Yi on her behalf and give ultimatums because she didn't want to deal with Soon-Yi herself. Or for Mia to talk about Woody's affair with Soon-Yi to a then little Dylan, who wasn't old enough to understand adult concepts like an affair, while also asking to older kids to lie about it. Or Mia revealing confidential school and medical information about Soon-Yi to Maureen Orth, or reprinting her kid's private letter to his father in her book. Or having her kids talk to a reporter at all, much less a few months after the scandal when everything was so fresh. Or more recently, if the reports are true that Mia and Ronan urged Dylan to write the letter, why in the hell she would do that. Mia's excuse as to why she never wanted to pursue criminal charges was that Dylan was fragile and she didn't want her to have to relive the experience through the press - why now would Mia want to prompt Dylan to break her own privacy (which she struggled to attain for a long time) to try her story in the court of public opinion? If Dylan wants some sort of closure or a public reckoning against Woody, she has the option to try and bring criminal charges or even a civil lawsuit, that would actually have consequences.

I feel like Mia acts more like her kids are her friends or people that she needs to be on her side, then as a parent. There are several times when I read her book that I felt, "Whoa, why would you say/do that to your kids?" Or, "Why would you be writing this about your kids? I did not need to know this." Even in Mia's own words, I still don't understand why her reaction to discovering the affair with Soon-Yi was to be angry and banish Soon-Yi but continue her relationship with Woody basically as normal for almost a year afterward. It was like Soon-Yi betrayed her, so she was gone. Then a few months later, even though Mia wrote the family was in chaos and she was still depressed and reeling over the Woody-Soon-Yi affair - and when she said her existing kids were struggling with it - she adopted two more kids who had intense special needs and brought them into that chaotic situation, and it's like Soon-Yi didn't exist anymore. Just like I don't understand how Mia's reaction to a nanny calling to tell her she witnessed molestation would be to literally pick up a video camera after putting the phone down. Or later calling Woody's therapist, WTF? My first call would be to the cops and my accused ex's therapist wold be...well, nowhere on the list. And no way in hell would I delay taking my kid to the doctor because I wanted to quiz her on camera first.

If I would describe Mia's book, it's like Pollyanna meets Lindsay Lohan. Mia is not bitchy with a drug problem, but she was raised as Hollywod royalty and has that sense of entitlement and black and white thinking. If you only read Mia's book, you would never know she had an affair with Andre Previn when he was married. It's portrayed as a totally spontaneous love affair between two artists and then Mia got pregnant and they decided to get married. The only mention of his wife is an old letter from the time, reprinted in the book, that Mia wanted to get married on a certain date but they couldn't because Dory Previn wouldn't grant the divorce yet. Aside from that, it's like Mia literally blinked Dory Previn out of existence. It's not like Mia should flog herself over the affair or anything, but it's weird that there's not even any passing mention of regret or any acknowledgement at how she and Andre got together.

Or the Roman Polanski thing. The book was published in 1997 and long after Roman Polanski's rape case, yet Mia writes incredibly fondly about Roman and their friendship. She never once mentions the rape charges against him, how she felt about it (not even if she doesn't know what to think about it), if she ever still talks to Roman, etc. It's one of several points that read like okay, Mia decided how something went down in her head, so that's how it went down, and no one in her life will contradict her.