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Thread: Michelle McNamara, writer and wife of Patton Oswalt, dies suddenly at 46

  1. #16
    Elite Member ShimmeringGlow's Avatar
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    Patton Oswalt is recounting the tragic day he found his wife, Michelle McNamara, dead — and speculating that the cause of her death might have been related to an overdose.


    In a heartbreaking interview withThe New York Times, the 47-year-old comic described what he calls “the second worst day of his life” — the first being when he had to tell their 7-year-old daughter, Alice, that her mother had died.


    McNamara, 46, was writing a book about a serial rapist and killer at the time — working long days and nights to solve the crimes of the person she had coined “The Golden State Killer.”


    It was a case that led to anxiety and nightmares that kept McNamara up at night. So worried about her health, Oswalt suggested she take a night to “sleep until you wake up.”

    On April 21, McNamara took some Xanax and went to sleep. She never woke up.

    The next morning, Oswalt remembered waking up early to get his daughter Alice dressed, packed and off to school. On the way home, he picked up an Americano coffee and left it on McNamara’s bedside table — around 9:40 a.m., he said.

    He then went to work in his home office — answering emails, sending some tweets about Prince’s death, and handling a few phone interviews.


    It was 12:42 p.m., he said, when he checked to see if his wife was up yet. She was still in bed — not breathing. The paramedics pronounced her dead on the scene.


    While a cause of death has still not been declared by the coroner’s office, Oswalt said he believes the Xanax is to blame.


    “I have a feeling it might have been an overdose,” he told The Times. “That’s what the paramedics there were saying while I was screaming and throwing up.”


    He said at the time he believed he was living a nightmare — and spent time trying to wake himself up. “I was literally blinking trying to get out of this,” Oswalt confessed.


    Telling Alice the next day, Oswalt said she related the experience to Pixar’s Inside Out. “I guess Sadness is doing her job right now,” he recalled she said.


    In the six months since her death, Oswalt revealed he has been crippled by mourning. Already someone who suffers from depression, the Ratatouille star said he’s been to counseling and has read books like C.S. Lewis’ A Grief Observed and Stephen King’s On Writing for support.




    He also drank heavily — though “found out the hard way these past few months that alcohol doesn’t really help.”


    One thing that has helped has been standup comedy. He’ll return to the stage on Nov. 3 to perform at the New York Comedy Festival.


    “I’ll never be at 100 percent again,” he said. “But that won’t stop me from living.”
    http://people.com/celebrity/patton-o...tter_peoplemag

  2. #17
    Elite Member Seapharris7's Avatar
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    .... Damn Patton. I'm really pulling for you
    Sugar... The real gateway drug

  3. #18
    Elite Member panic's Avatar
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    my condolences, patton.
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    "The wild, cruel beast is not behind the bars of the cage. He is in front of it."...Axel Munthe

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    Elite Member Bombshell's Avatar
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    I adore him. I've been hearing some recent voice over work from him in advertisements, so I was hoping that meant he might be getting his head a bit above water for the moment.

    Having to stay so strong for his kids...can't imagine.

    Heartbreaking.
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  5. #20
    Elite Member SoCalMarie's Avatar
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    I didn't know much about Patton or his comedy (stand-up). It was through the news of his wife's death that I learned he often talked about her in his act - so much so that fans felt like they "knew" her.

    But, despite me not really knowing much about him or his family, this quote from his daughter still makes me tear up, every time I come across it...



    Quote Originally Posted by Moongirl View Post
    Patton Oswalt Shares Touching Quote From 7-Year-Old Daughter After Wife’s Death


    “When your mom dies you’re the best memory of her. Everything you do is a memory of her.” — Alice Oswalt, 7

    — Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 1, 2016
    My condolences to him, his daughter, and all those in mourning over her loss.
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  6. #21
    Elite Member panic's Avatar
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    my eyes are starting to well up reading that.
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    "The wild, cruel beast is not behind the bars of the cage. He is in front of it."...Axel Munthe

  7. #22
    Elite Member HeartShapedBox's Avatar
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    I loved him in The King Of Queens. So sad for him.
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  8. #23
    Elite Member gas_chick's Avatar
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    I got to quit clicking on articles where he is talking about it because it gets me every single time.
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  9. #24
    Elite Member panic's Avatar
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    i loved him in The Big Fan. even after he was locked up he was still obsessed with football. when he got visitors in jail, as soon as he sat down he was talking about the next football game. it was so funny.
    "The wild, cruel beast is not behind the bars of the cage. He is in front of it."...Axel Munthe

  10. #25
    Elite Member stella blue's Avatar
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    The comments section on this article have some incredibly insightful things to say on grief and living with it. I think most of us have been there at some point, and those that haven't will be. It's never easy.


    http://jezebel.com/patton-oswalt-says-life-after-loss-should-be-called-a-n-1788584151



    Patton Oswalt Says Life After Loss Should Be Called a 'Numb Slog' Not a 'Healing Journey'


    [COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.74902)]Aimée Lutkin

    Friday 5:10pmFiled to: [COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.74902)]PATTON OSWALT[/COLOR]

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    Image via Getty.
    On Thursday night, Patton Oswalt headlined his first hourlong stand-up special since his wife, Michelle McNamara, died in April.

    People reports that the comedian was a half-hour into his set before telling the audience at the Beacon Theatre, “Six months and 12 days ago, my wife passed away... There’s no way to segue into that. It’s just my life and it’s kind of all-consuming. And it sucks. It sucks.”
    He then talked about what life has been like, observing that the way we talk about recovering from the loss of a loved one doesn’t fit the experience:
    “A lot of the terminology that people use when you’re going through something like this is just ridiculous,” he said. “If I hear the term ‘healing journey’ one more time… It is not a ‘healing journey.’ It’s a ‘numb slog.’ It’s just, ‘Well, it’s the end of another day — guess I’ll do that tomorrow.’ It’s just a numb slog until you start feeling s— again.”
    “If they would call it a ‘numb slog’ instead of a ‘healing journey,’ it would make it a lot easier,” he continued. “Because if they call it a ‘healing journey’ and it’s just a day of you eating Wheat Thins in your underwear, you’re like, ‘I guess I’m on my healing journey.’ But if they say you’re going to have a ‘numb slog,’ you sit there going ‘I’m nailing it!’ ”
    He also talked about his daughter Alice, and how he broke the news to her the day following McNamara’s death, keeping her home from school and spending the morning with her. Alice soon wanted to return to class, which Oswalt says was a good choice, in part because of the other students lack of filter was refreshing: “Monday was me taking her to school and the kids saying ‘Were you sad when Alice’s mom died?’ And I was like, ‘Yes, I was—what a great question.’”
    McNamara was a lauded true crime writer, who was finishing a book on the Golden State Killer at the time of her death, which Oswalt has pledged to see published. He said during his special that their views of the world, influenced by their respective crafts, often conflicted:
    “I’m very very OCD,” he explained. “I like logic and order and neatness. And sometimes I would fall into that cliché where I would say ‘Well everything happens for a reason I guess.’ And she would go, ‘No it doesn’t. It doesn’t happen for any reason. S— just happens. There’s no closure, there’s no order and there’s no meaning. It’s whatever meaning you try to put on it but nothing happens for any reason. Get that out of your head.’ ”
    He added, “Now that’s been proven to me in the shittiest way possible. She won the argument in the worst way!”

  11. #26
    Silver Member misrule's Avatar
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    I've always loved this dude, and everything i have heard him say about grief and loss just hits me right in the guts.
    I hope his numb slog eases in the future
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    Ok, I know, I'm kind of a bitch for saying this, but I just don't buy the daughter saying these things about her being the best memory of her mother, and sadness doing its job. It's the kind of thing parents say, the kid overhears and repeats it, and in the parent's head it now came directly from their super intelligent and sensitive prodigy child. But kids are banal, not profound. And I say that as a mother who loves her boring and predictable kid. Now, come at me with all your anecdotes of how speshul your crotch fruits are.

    Having said that, I wish the best for Patton and Alice, poor kid.

  13. #28
    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    This poor guy. I feel for him. I think the only thing that would make me hang on is the kid.
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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by idunno View Post
    Ok, I know, I'm kind of a bitch for saying this, but I just don't buy the daughter saying these things about her being the best memory of her mother, and sadness doing its job. It's the kind of thing parents say, the kid overhears and repeats it, and in the parent's head it now came directly from their super intelligent and sensitive prodigy child.
    I have to admit, I don't believe in super-intelligent, prodigy children.

  15. #30
    Elite Member gas_chick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by idunno View Post
    Ok, I know, I'm kind of a bitch for saying this, but I just don't buy the daughter saying these things about her being the best memory of her mother, and sadness doing its job. It's the kind of thing parents say, the kid overhears and repeats it, and in the parent's head it now came directly from their super intelligent and sensitive prodigy child. But kids are banal, not profound. And I say that as a mother who loves her boring and predictable kid. Now, come at me with all your anecdotes of how speshul your crotch fruits are.

    Having said that, I wish the best for Patton and Alice, poor kid.
    Not saying you are a bitch but you know kids will knock your socks off sometimes with the wisdom that comes out of their mouth even the ones that put on a helmet and walk into walls. I have no reason to think he would make that shit up. I'm sure she heard it somewhere. Maybe she read it in a book.

    I love Patton and reading and watching him talk about this gets me in the gut every single time. When your spouse is in his/her 40s, you have an expectation that they will wake up.
    I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."

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