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Thread: Mama June leaves Sugar Bear (also handy pasta tips and child abuse)

  1. #136
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    The damage to victims is understood but people overlook one critical point. Victims, even very young ones, are suddenly placed in the position of feeling responsible for the happiness of their entire family. If they tell, it will hurt everyone. If they tell, the family may lose their house. If they tell, shame will be cast on the whole family. Yet when some come forward, and explain that it has been going on for years, people question why they didn't tell earlier. Many years later victims still feel the guilt that their mother never remarried and is now alone because they told. Victims take on the weight of the world, and are rarely ever able to truly put it down again.
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  2. #137
    Elite Member ManxMouse's Avatar
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    So true, Sluce. I did guardian ad litem work many moons ago, for children who had been removed from their homes due to abuse/neglect. On top of everything else, the kid's whole life is disrupted and they're suddenly living among strangers, frightened and alone, after having told what happened. I had to ask these kids what they wanted to have happen, and decide what was in their best interests. Invariably, they just want to go home. It's heartbreaking. With one boy, his aunt (perp's sister) was telling him to just take back what he said and they could all be together again. People like that really need a good flaying.
    Santa is an elitist mother fucker -- giving expensive shit to rich kids and nothing to poor kids.

  3. #138
    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lobelia View Post

    I have 3 mothers on my caseload right now who have chosen child molesters over their children. Probably more who just aren't coming to mind ATM. Lots more over the years. It's always been fascinating to see such a high level of creative rationalization and denial taking place right in front of me.
    I've only known of one case and that shocked the shit out of me. It wasn't involving family but involved someone who is as good as. This person's ex started seeing someone who they knew to be a convicted child molester and not only allowed them to move in to the home but also let them take care of the kids in all the ways a parent would. When it came to light about the new partner having convictions this person swore up and down that the previous victims were filthy little liars, refused to end the relationship and actually taught the children what to say when questioned (it was stated in a report that the children were almost certainly coached by the parent). This person lost their job and their kids and still held on to the relationship until the new partner was forcibly removed back to prison.

    All these years later I still cannot understand this and it breaks my heart to see the impact that the whole thing had on the eldest child. Nothing was even proven in that case but the signs are there and becoming more apparent as they get older. And yet they are still utterly devoted to the parent, even though they let them down in the worst possible way by knowingly inviting evil into the home. I just can't... /smh
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  4. #139
    Elite Member InigoMontoya's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy2.0 View Post
    Is anyone else just impressed to find that TLC has a line they won't cross? I didn't think that was possible.
    I'm not exactly impressed, but am surprised.

  5. #140
    Elite Member Lobelia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sluce View Post
    The damage to victims is understood but people overlook one critical point. Victims, even very young ones, are suddenly placed in the position of feeling responsible for the happiness of their entire family. If they tell, it will hurt everyone. If they tell, the family may lose their house. If they tell, shame will be cast on the whole family. Yet when some come forward, and explain that it has been going on for years, people question why they didn't tell earlier. Many years later victims still feel the guilt that their mother never remarried and is now alone because they told. Victims take on the weight of the world, and are rarely ever able to truly put it down again.
    Omg, vouch. The pressure they face after disclosure is crazy intense.

    And don't forget about the money factor when the perp is the provider in the family. When he's gone, the bills aren't paid and there's no food. So here comes more pressure for the kid to recant, and they often do, partly because they want their mom & siblings to be able to eat and have a place to live. I can't think of a single recant I ever believed, not in 20 years.

    Much less difficult to convince yourself that your kid is lying than it is to figure out how to start supporting yourself and your family for the first time ever, plus deal with all of the other fallout from the situation.

    But even when people try really hard to NOT pressure the kid in any way, the kid just still feels responsible for blowing up everyone's lives. If the perp is a family member or similar, they often still love that person, no matter how uncomfortable it makes the rest of us feel.

    I just realized something - the very first case of physical & sexual abuse I encountered as a new therapist was a teenage girl. We got her out of the home and she fought like a honey badger to get back, and she eventually did. Blew. My. Mind. at the time and was the first of many lessons in learning to accept that they almost always want to just go back home and have everything go back to "normal" and maybe all the abuse would just go away.

    Fast forward to 2 months ago, and that girl is now a patient of mine again. She's able to give me more insight into what she was thinking and feeling back then & it's super interesting. And a little surreal. Oh, and her mother STILL blames her for everything.
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  6. #141
    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    ^^ Her mother needs to disappear down a sink hole.

    I don't get it, I really, really don't. If I found out someone I knew was a convicted sex offender - against children or adults - they would be out of my life so fast they'd leave scorch marks, and they'd better have enough sense to never, ever cross my path ever again.
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  7. #142
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MohandasKGanja View Post
    My wife's grandmother (or my MIL's mom) was widowed with 5 kids when her husband was killed in a car crash on the way to see a patient. She never remarried (or even dated, as far as I know) because she had three daughters were were really young and would rather figure out how to raise them herself than bring a strange guy into the house.

    That's sad for her. Not all step parents are molesters, and of course many children are abused by their own fathers.



    My girlfriend's ex-husband's mother made the sad choice that lobes and sluce mention, choosing her husband over her children, but in that case it was physical abuse. He beat his wife and children. She chose to stay with him and her children were forced to live elsewhere and were split up from each other. Denial is a powerful thing.
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  8. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flygirl View Post
    I want to beg you both to tell me you're exaggerating, but unfortunately, I know you're not. I feel sick.
    They're not. And it's really sad. Thank heavens for victim assistance advocates, therapists, CASA.
    Worked in the courts long ago and it killed me every time the mom took the child-abuser's side and sat on his side of the courtroom, proudly and defiantly. I don't even know how to explain the WTF!!! thoughts that go through your head hearing a mom talking about how the victim must have seduced the person. And I mean, they're saying this with a straight face about a sweet little child. Trying to rationalize to themselves that he couldn't stop against the come-ons, like getting a hug or a kiss from the child. It's nauseating.


    I don't understand how Mama June can do this to her daughter but people be crazy.

  9. #144
    Elite Member Bellatheball's Avatar
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    I have never set foot in this thread before because I have not watched a single second of the show. Maybe somebody has already mentioned it and I've missed it, but it seems TMZ has sunk even lower than usual. They put out a story today claiming the daughter was actually the victim. Somehow outing a kid who suffered sexual abuse seems to be the lowest possible form of "journalism." It's disgusting and vile. That kid deserves her privacy or at least as much privacy as can be expected for a reality show child.

  10. #145
    Elite Member Lobelia's Avatar
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    TMZ is saying that the daughter "wants it to be known"

    "according to sources" of course
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  11. #146
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    TMZ is vile.

  12. #147
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    I just read TMZs story. If they are telling the truth, as Lobelia stated, Anna wanted them to make it public. So sad.
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  13. #148
    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    She's supposedly spoken to Radar and come out and said that she believes her mother to be involved with this filth.

    Honey Boo Boo shock claim that Mama June's now adult daughter was victim of child molester¬* | Daily Mail Online

    I still don't get it. If someone had touched a child of mine I would be dreaming of the day they got out of prison so I could cut off their dick and make them watch while I fed it to pigs. I most certainly wouldn't be snuggling in for a fucking selfie!
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  14. #149
    Elite Member NickiDrea's Avatar
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    I just had a case where the victim's father was the on the side of the abuser. The alleged abuser wasn't even a family member. The victim in that case was a child under eight. The case really bothered me for many reasons.

    I do do have to point out that I have seen more than a few cases of false accusations, including cases involving young children, as well as cases where a vengeful parent coerced their chid into making the accusations. Not all reports of abuse are true and I have seen people's lives completely destroyed by lies about child molesting, including people being convicted of sexual crimes they did not commit.

    That said, I don't know anything about this situation other than what tmz reported but as a mother, once a person has been accused or convicted of a sex offense they had better stay the hell away from my kid. I've seen unjust convictions and I know allegations don't have to be true but I wouldn't risk it. This woman's actions rise to the level of parental negligence and it's only a matter of time before whatever their state's Department of Family Services starts investigating. She is knowingly placing her daughter, who is close in age to this man's victim, in danger. Considering how TLC executives have happily watched this family exploit this child for years despite many protests, I'm pretty surprised but relieved that they had the sense to cancel the show.

    This woman has no concerns that this man may be using her to get to her daughter? Or does she not care? SMH.
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  15. #150
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    I didn't realize one of her other baby-daddys was also in prison for sexual abuse. That DM article says her one daughter's dad is in prison another 10 years for 2 counts of sexual exploitation of a child. WTF?! I don't watch the show really so maybe that was well-known but shit....she picks some real winners!

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