Lisa Niemi opens up about her grief over losing Patrick Swayze

[Quazar]

Slacker - I'm sorry for your loss. 27 years was such a long time to be together.

I kind of understand the situation, although I wasn't married nearly as long, nor did we have kids. My first husband died of a brain tumor after almost 5 years of marriage, but he was sick for 2 1/2 of those years. We never even got started. For this reason it was probably easier for me in that we didn't really build a life together, yet. Most of our marriage was me taking care of him (he went blind - this was how we found out he had a brain tumor in the first place) and he died a few days after my 30th birthday.

Although I remarried after 5 years and have been married again now for 11 years, not a day goes by where I don't think of my late husband, or get choked up with tears when I'll hear a song he liked or look at his picture. My heart breaks for the fact that he died so young and in a cruel way and I often wonder what would have been. I know after everything, he would have wanted me to be happy, date and even remarry if I chose to.

I hope that by tellling my story you feel a little less alone. I hope you find peace and happiness in the next part of your life.

[cupcake]

Sorry your losses, Slacker and Quazer. I lost my first husband to suicide. He left me with 2 beautiful children, thankfully his legacy lives on.
Really tests every part of your being. Time does manage to heal but like you said you never ever forget, nor do you want to . Peace to the survivors!

[cupcake]

Originally Posted by McJag

But Cupcake-then he would have to face it. I think men have an even harder time. I have learned from watching my brave Aunts and Mother face widowhood. My own hubby has had some health scares, so I have really taken notes. They stayed busy. One (in her late 70's) who was married to her total soulmate,is a whirlwind of activity. She teaches water aerobics twice a day. She volunteers, both at a museum and a hospice. She does not visit with the dying (says she can't take that) but with newly widowed. She had her kitchen remodled and got a breast reduction. Has Bonco night every Monday. She gets out & about. The heavy grieving I expected did not happen. She saw him through a long year of suffering,maybe that helped her. So,kind of give it some thought. We never know. One thing I do after a death of the male partner: I send the widow a new set of sheets-girly,ruffled sorts. I thought the hard part would be sleeping alone-this added some fun,ever laughter.

I did face it. 22 years ago, but we were seperated and had issues in our relationship when he passed and I was just very young. He didnt treat me the dreatest and I was ready to move on. I raised 2 kids alone for some time. Sorting it all out. I love my current husband so much that it would be a temendous loss.I know he loves me but he would go on, I know that and that gives me peace. We all handle loss in different ways. Hope your hubby is healthy after his scares!