Lindsay Lohan hospitalized after car crash

[DeadDwarf]

Holy shit, those fucking SHOES!

Anything that can distract away from her face is probably a good thing for her!

[NickiDrea]

My God that's frightening. How does she manage to be five years younger than me while looking twenty years older than me?!

[msdeb]

Ho.Ly.Shit. She looks like a sad, drunken old clown. Girlfriend must have funhouse mirrors in her pad to leave the house thinking she looks good!

thats the funniest thing i've read all day!

[Beeyotch]

I think the Joan Crawford at 60 comparison is spot-on. She's fucking hideous.

[Laurent]

I used to think that Lindz would look decent if she'd just go back to the red hair, but bitch proved me wrong.

[rollo]

^ It is slightly better than the blonde hair. It's just that the woolly hair extensions are ridiculous.

[nancydrew]

I think she would look better if she died already

[OrangeSlice]

She reminds me of those scenes from Death Becomes Her, where the Meryl and Goldie's bodies start decomposing so they have to use spray paint and embalming chemicals to keep them looking presentable. I think Lindsay's a few stages past that though.

[josiekat]

Wednesday, July 11th 2012
And The Butchery Never Ends!




In case you were wondering if Hollywood still hates you, they do! They plan to ruin my tweenhood memories of watching What Ever Happened To Baby Jane? on AMC when AMC played classic old movies instead of playing Mystic Fucking Pizza all the time. ("Michael, Mystic Pizza IS an old movie. You're just too old to not know this. Now drink your prune juice and choke on a caramel square, you decrepit hag!" - you) Deadline says that Hollywood has pulled out the guillotine and this time Baby Jane is going under it. Walter Hill, the director of 48 Hrs. and The Getaway, will write and direct the remake. Yeah, now I know how the maid felt after Baby Jane bopped over the head with a hammer. Here's the details from Deadline:

Hill sparked to the idea of re-creating the nightmarish relationship between two sisters in a crumbling Hollywood mansion, where former child star Jane Hudson (Davis) holds captive her crippled former movie-queen sister (Crawford). “The two equal leads demand great performers — that is a given,” Hill said. “The intensity of the Gothic storyline makes a reconfiguration of the drama still a potentially searing experience. The idea is to make a modern film without modernizing the period. It needs to resonate the golden age of Hollywood.”

Just imagining a trick besides Bette Davis saying "But ya ahhhh, Blanche, ya ahhhh in that chair" is making my ears dry heave. We already had a TV remake in 1991 with Vanessa and Lynn Redgrave, and we don't need another one.
But if Hollywood insists on going through with this mess, then they should really make the remake a serious horror show. They should wipe all the Vaseline from the camera lenses, film it in 3D IMAX with bright overhead lightning and give us this cast:

"Sister, sister, oh so fair, why is there coke all over your hair?"

Posted by: Michael K

Freakin priceless

[dksnj]

every time there is a new post in this thread, i'm hoping Lindsay effed up again. so disappointing

[rollo]

^ Be patient. It's not like you'll have long to wait!

[FashionVictim]

She's working so she doesn't have as much time. She'll be entertaining us again, soon!

[pinkbunnyslippers]

every time there is a new post in this thread, i'm hoping Lindsay effed up again. so disappointing

I've been waiting impatiently.

[NVash]

Friday, July 13th 2012
The Trinity Of Terror



Q: "Why did every L.A. area drug dealer tell me they were all out of the bad shit when I called each and every one of them on Tuesday night?" - Charlie Sheen

A: Lindsay Lohan, Lady GaGa and Lana Del Rey had a slumber party at the Chateau Marmont. The end.

William Shakespeare is somewhere up in heaven, slapping himself in the face with his quill pen for being born in the wrong time period, because this right here is more terrifying than any three witches scene from Macbeth. X17Online via (via Digital Spy) says that the Chateau Marmont almost crumbled into a million pieces from the weight of bloated egos, mountains of cocaine, polyester weaves and plastic lip jelly in one room. A source says that Lady CaCa, LiLo and Llama Del Meh (aka The Evil Ls) had dinner in the garden before going up to a room to "play dress up, watch old movies and play board games." You should've read that last part while making air quotes, because that's obviously just fuckedupmess code for whiskey enemas, gargling coke with their nostrils and passing out in a puddle of vomit ("Try to pass out in your own!" - tip of the night from LiLo).

Earlier in the night, LiLo tweeted "#skinnysnack1" (translation: #cooooooooke1) at CaCa and CaCa tweeted a picture of a cucumber on the bar. I don't even want to know what they did with that cucumber, but my thoughts and condolences go out to its family, because it can't be easy knowing that its last moments were painful, disgusting and involved lots of toxic body fluids.

If this story is true and isn't just a piece from a horrific fanfic, then it was probably the most boring and annoying threesome ever. Spaced out Lana Del Rey slow danced with a floor lamp all night while CaCa and LiLo melted the paint on the walls by talking non-stop, over each other, about their (f)art. Still, I hope this never happens again, because the world does not need the second coming of the West Hollywood Three.

Here's LiLo leaving a restaurant last night and ho should be using her hands to hold down the top of her head instead of covering her face, because her scalp is practically falling off. Lady CaCa should be ashamed of herself. Bitch snorted up a patch of LiLo's hair when a little coke got on her head.

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Splash, Wenn.com, Bauer Griffin

Posted by: Michael K
Source: The Trinity Of Terror | Dlisted

Noooo! Not Lana Del Rey!

[DAP]

I think she would look better if she died already

This is so wrong, but I laughed so hard.