Lindsay Lohan Flunks Booze Test -- Ordered to Court

[sluce]

I still laugh when I think that millions stopped what they were doing to watch the live coverage of the low speed chase.

[Chilly Willy]

Good times.

[twitchy2.0]

NO! I wanted my flesh eating bacteria show! *sobs* That chase was boring as hell. I thought that at any moment it would be over and they'd go back to regularly scheduled programming but noooo. It just kept going and going and going with announcers babbling on and on moronically trying to fill air time because they had no idea what was going on and no facts to report. It was the beginning of the end of TV journalism. Now every event has to break in to show NOTHING happening while people babble speculatively.

[Trixie]

yeah, why are we even pretending that anything is going to happen to that little red headed whore hopper?

Exactly! When it comes to her, I refuse to get even a tiny hope that she'll get a smackdown. I've been burned too many times now.

[Chilly Willy]

It was my first American trash tv experience, the birth of a gossip whore. I insist, good times.

[TheFarSide]

It won't me link directly to the page for some reason, but...

Celebrity Gossip | Entertainment News | Celebrity News | TMZ.com
Live -- Lindsay Dodges Jail Bullet

28 minutes ago by TMZ Staff
Lindsay Lohan will not go to jail,because Judge Stephanie Sautner ruled the prior judge -- Eldon Fox -- only required controlled substances testing from January 3 - February 25, 2011.

story developing

[nancydrew]

Then what the fuck was the point of the ankle detector thing?

[msdeb]

Then what the fuck was the point of the ankle detector thing?

Wasn't it to make sure she never leaves her house?

[Chilly Willy]

Fuck that.

[Mel1973]

This is just SHOCKING.... whatevs

[twitchy2.0]

Wasn't it to make sure she never leaves her house?

I'd like to see one big enough to actually do that. Sort of like The Club thing for cars. (why is it always piece of shit cars that have one of those?)

[Mel1973]

I'd like to see one big enough to actually do that. Sort of like The Club thing for cars. (why is it always piece of shit cars that have one of those?)

If they would get her one of those... I'd be tempted to light her fucking house on FIRE!

[Novice]

Linnocent Open Post: Let the house-arrest booze flow!

Here is your Open Post for today’s courthouse crack shenanigans. Linnocent is due at 10 am PST/1 PM PST. I’ll be updating this post with whatever I deem relevant, and I’m sure I’ll do a summary post once we know how Linnocent is going to be punished for being drunk during her house arrest. What will she wear? Will she have coke in her purse? Will she be Forever Linnocent? You can see TMZ’s live feed here.
Meanwhile, here’s an interesting addendum to that Matt Lauer story. According to TMZ, Linnocent’s really canceled her NBC interview because she knew at the time that she had flunked her piss test, and she didn’t feel like going through her normal crack lie dance.
UPDATE: Linnocent just arrived at approx. 12:45 EST. Her hair looks like hell. I think she’s wearing a blue button-down blouse.
UPDATE: You can see Linnocent’s outfit here. You know what this ridiculous bitch did? She bleached her hair last night. Zero roots, it has that freshed-bleached look. She wanted it to look “done” for court. Because THAT is her priority.
UPDATE: Life & Style just released more excerpts from Linnocent’s interview (the one where she claimed there was no booze in her house):

Today, just days before completing her 35-day-long house arrest, Lindsay Lohan is headed back to court after reportedly testing positive for alcohol. The allegation stems from a June 12 rooftop barbecue that Lindsay insists wasn’t a party. Although Lindsay tells Life & Style that the legal drama in her life was coming to an end, reports say that the LA County Probation Department will ask Judge Stephanie Sautner to put her in LA County Jail. “It’s a scary place,” Lindsay tells Life & Style about prison. “And a place that I don’t wish on anyone.”
During her first and only interview while under house arrest, Lindsay tells Life & Style, on newsstands now, “It wasn’t a party — it was a barbecue!” and when “My friends come over, they’re not drinking. Alcohol is not in my house, so it’s just not a part of my life.” However, the interview, during which she insisted she’s cleaned up her act, took place shortly after reportedly submitting a test that would come back positive for alcohol.
Lindsay admitted to having problems in the past when she was surrounded with the wrong people, but expressed confidence that those days were over. “In the past it was just who ever was around,” says Lindsay. “Now, I have a really great group of people in my life.” Though Lindsay claims she’s back on track, she was hesitant when asked if she’d stay out of nightclubs. “I don’t think you should ever say never,” she says.
Lindsay was adamant that she was following the rules of her sentencing. “I’m doing what I was told to do,” says Lindsay. “People can can say whatever they want, but as far as I’m concerned, I’m doing the right thing.”

[From Life & Style]
Delusional crackheaded liar. Dumbass bitch.
UPDATE: Radar reports: “Judge Stephanie Sautner addressed the court and said the hearing was “Meant to be a little private conference with the attorneys…if you all thought there was going to be something exciting happening, I wouldn’t count on it.” Nevertheless, Sautner ordered Lindsay to appear. Lindsay is currently talking to her attorney Shawn Holley in the interview room. Judge Sautner is in her chambers.”


Photos courtesy of WENN.


Linnocent’s court attire: sketchy or daringly appropriate?

I’m kind of tired of waiting for whatever is going to happen to Linnocent, so let’s just talk about fashion while we wait. Here are some quick thoughts about Linnocent’s court attire: she sucks. In the past, it has been much, much worse - I mean, she once wore a latex dress to the courthouse. She consistently refuses to wear a bra to court. She probably doesn’t wear panties, either. Basically, she’s disgusting and she wouldn’t know appropriate court attire if it smacked her in the crack mouth. So, I guess her ensemble today was fine. Here’s what bugs me, though: TMZ identified the outfit really, really quickly - it’s a Steve Alan shirt, Sass & Bide pants, Chanel bag, Balenciaga heels and a Roseark necklace. I honestly think Linnocent must have sent TMZ the list of designer duds, like you would if you were attending a premiere. It’s very sketchy that she treats court appearances and being a disaster who is always in and out of legal situations like some treat the red carpet.
Let me reiterate one more thing: her HAIR. Jesus, GOD, IT’S TERRIBLE. You know she had it freshly bleached last night. Because she wanted to look “fresh” for court.
Right at this very moment, Linnocent is still behind closed doors with the judge and the lawyers. I’ll update with more news!





Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.
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Linnocent avoids jail time, because she’s allowed to be a boozehound now

I don’t really know what just happened. After sitting there, talking with the lawyers and everything for an hour and a half, it looks like Linnocent got away with it again. According to TMZ, “Judge Stephanie Sautner ruled the prior judge — Elden Fox — only required controlled substances testing from January 3 - February 25, 2011. Judge Sautner said Lindsay is now restricted for the remainder of her house arrest to one friend at a time at her Venice loft, in addition to family members. And, the judge said NO PARTIES at Lindsay’s crib.” Apparently, the judge thought that because Judge Fox didn’t explicitly say anything about drug testing for THIS house arrest, I guess the probation department didn’t have the right to even test her? Which just goes back to what I thought all along - that Linnocent wasn’t being drug or alcohol tested.
The judge also said that Linnocent “was guilty of extremely poor judgment.” BULLSH-T.
Here’s my take: the California just wants to be done with Linnocent. At this point, the lawyers and judges and the LA DA , they’re all just like “Screw it, just let her do whatever she wants.” They’ve given in. Here’s the problem with that: the bitch is crazy, she’s delusional, she’s entitled, and she’s an alcoholic and an addict. She’s going to kill someone someday.
Now Shawn Holley is all “She’s done nothing wrong…” etc. And now she’s talking about how alcohol consumption are not “a violation” of her probation. Um, then why all of the court-ordered rehab?!? Why the constant drug and alcohol monitoring?!? This is such crap.

[gardenwitch]

Then what the fuck was the point of the ankle detector thing?

She is under House arrest. It lets the 5-0 to know if she leaves her house.

It's a bunch of crap though.
My son's father is under house arrest right now. But as long as he tells them where he is going, and the time he will be back, he can do whatever the fuck he wants. They seem to NEVER check in on him. Except the once a week meeting with probation.
3rd Felony DWI. But he got 4 months jail time on top of 6 months house arrest.
She is most def. Teflon. Dumb skank that she is.

[Stereo Inferno]

What a load of SHIT!!!!

The court system are fucking enabling this little twat. Jail is what she needs.