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Thread: Lady Antebellum changes name to Lady A, denounce former name's association to slavery

  1. #31
    Elite Member Waterslide's Avatar
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    Wow! My Catholic school experience was a snoozefest compared to that! We had teachers who would say, "In my day, the nuns would swat us on the hand with rulers, just be glad we don't do that!" We had a couple of nuns. One was our principal when I was in 1st grade - petite, soft-spoken, unassuming, sweet. Another was pretty much the same way only she visited the elderly and got around a little more. The other one played bass and that's about all I remember about her. The priests could be assholes, but most of them were OK, especially our pastor who was soft spoken and patient and had a Mickey Mouse phone on his desk (in his rectory office, not in the school and not in a creepy pedo way) and was fond of the tomatoes my parents would bring him from their garden. Outside of mass, I only remember reading two books of the bible - Job and Hebrews and I remember the Ten Commandments and the Beatitudes, but know nothing about catechism. The Bible categories on Jeopardy are always the ones I fail terribly.

    But it was like a fucking Hallmark channel version of a Catholic school. Except for the fucking kids. I hated it by 8th grade. I was already listening to alternative music and reading books I probably didn't even understand (I owned a book by Cocteau...why?) and trying to wear black or loud prints and dreaming of living in New York or London and they were all into Kirk Cameron. I wanted nothing to do with any of them and all my friends went to other schools and I was so happy to go to public school again finally. The social aspect of it kind of screwed me up because I actually got brainwashed into thinking I was poor because I only had 2-3 Swatch watches total when most of the girls got a new one every weekend and stupid stuff like that. When I got to high school, I had to relearn real life and that no, not everyone, got $100 week for allowance or every pair of Guess jeans in existence or whatever. I felt so stupid and guilty for a long time after that even though it was the only life I knew and the message I got daily was that I didn't get everything I wanted and they did, ipso facto, I wasn't good enough.

    Oh, but I just remembered something good! I hope I didn't tell this story before. So, I was wondering what happened to my old grade school principal so I googled her. I saw that she was an elected Superintendent of Schools in Monterey County, CA, but that she retired. Not so interesting. Except she had an affair. Escandalo! Except the fair was with a priest! Double escandalo! Except the priest was her cousin!!! Triple escandalo!

    I was floored. She sort of always reminded me of a fussier version of Diane Chambers from Cheers, so it kind of blew my mind.





    eta - why was the monk in thigh highs???

    We once had to go on a confirmation retreat with this monk who did an interpretive dance to Mr Bo Jangles and wanted to talk about our feelings a lot. He was straight up a hippie in jeans and a flannel shirt, with a big beard and I was expecting an old dude in brown robes. It was weird.
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  2. #32
    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    Well fortunately I went to private school (Catholic still, but hey, that's actually progressive here) and I know for a fact I learned a lot of things the public schools weren't teaching.

    Quote Originally Posted by sputnik View Post
    it's funny how it's always women that assimilate catholic guilt, men don't seem to give a shit. i know lots of cases like your MIL. my dad's cousin married a guy who was divorced with 2 kids. they had a civil wedding because they couldn't have it at church. she's a few years younger than my parents so about 65 and to this day she still carries around a lot of guilt and shame about marrying a divorced man and how in the eyes of god her marriage isn't valid. she's still super religious but she won't take communion because she's 'living in sin'. her husband (the source of her 'sinful' state) couldn't give two shits, her children even less so. but that guilty brainwashing from her catholic upbringing is still there. it's infuriating.
    This is weird (and annoying) but true. If I'm being 100% honest it took me a longer time to completely shake off my identity as one half of a married couple partly because of this. The way I grew up, 'in the eyes of God' I'm still married. Even though ExMrD was about the least religious person you'd ever meet. Yes it's fucked up. And unhealthy. But it can be overcome.

    BTW: Lady Antebellum is a stupid name for a band anyway.
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  3. #33
    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Charmed Hour View Post
    I find the 2nd marriage in the Church interesting. Would not happen in the US.

    Catholic doctrine states that all marriages are with the promise of for life, whether a Catholic ceremony or not. No one, no matter what their religious affiliation or membership, is considered free to contract another marriage if they were married previously. Every prior marriage must be investigated and annulled before a person can enter a new marriage.

    Over here (at least in the 70's) it seemed very much at the will of the individual parish priest and with Sperm Donor's family priest being perfectly fine with visiting a new mother to threaten Hellfire and Damnation for not marrying in a Catholic church or converting...

    The thing is, if they HAD married in a Catholic church they wouldn't have been allowed the full service anyway because it was an interfaith marriage. Ma Kitty had attended another interfaith marriage and they'd not been allowed to marry before the altar and no hymns and only one prayer (about - you guessed it - redemption for nonbelievers). That's why she chose to marry under her own family's faith instead.
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  4. #34
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MsDark View Post
    Well fortunately I went to private school (Catholic still, but hey, that's actually progressive here) and I know for a fact I learned a lot of things the public schools weren't teaching.

    This is weird (and annoying) but true. If I'm being 100% honest it took me a longer time to completely shake off my identity as one half of a married couple partly because of this. The way I grew up, 'in the eyes of God' I'm still married. Even though ExMrD was about the least religious person you'd ever meet. Yes it's fucked up. And unhealthy. But it can be overcome.

    BTW: Lady Antebellum is a stupid name for a band anyway.
    yeah i think i was really lucky that public education in switzerland is for the most part excellent, especially in high school - if you can make it there. they thin out the herd all through middle school and you have to meet certain requirements to go to high school that lets you go to university after that. anyone who can't cut it either does vocational training or goes to other trade schools. but i'm grateful for the years in the catholic middle schools because they were super rigorous and better academically than public middle school. but i was definitely more in my element in my high school. my high school was public but kind of experimental and had a huge arts and music program, and was academically super rigorous but a lot of the teachers were super liberal and kind of out there. they always told us we were there because we wanted to learn and it was no longer legally mandatory for us to be there, and it wasn't their job to handhold.

    and yeah i agree the catholic brainwashing was always more for women than men and it can be hard to rid yourself of stuff that's so deeply ingrained from an early age. it's funny i just saw a thing on facebook, in spanish or i would copy it here, for all the people who always go on about how 'marriage used to be forever', and basically reminding them that the reason marriages lasted so long was because of women's suffering and silence.
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  5. #35
    Elite Member ConstanceSpry's Avatar
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    ...after “having many honest conversations with some of our closest Black friends.”
    Oh FFS, pandering much?? They should just go all out and rename themselves Lady Plantation and hire Paula Dean as their manager.
    'I had to get rid of the kid. The cat was allergic.'

  6. #36
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    ^^^^
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    "It' s a reference to beautiful architecture!" Yeah, the kind of architecture that made it really easy to oversee hundreds of slaves working in the blazing hot sun.
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  8. #38
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waterslide View Post
    eta - why was the monk in thigh highs???

    We once had to go on a confirmation retreat with this monk who did an interpretive dance to Mr Bo Jangles and wanted to talk about our feelings a lot. He was straight up a hippie in jeans and a flannel shirt, with a big beard and I was expecting an old dude in brown robes. It was weird.
    sorry didn't answer your question. honestly i don't know, i just remember being unfortunate enough to catch a glimpse of his sock situation one winter day. but he was certainly not a hippie monk, unlike the adoprable hippie monk who married my sister in a hippie dippie spiritual ceremony that was not officially recognised by the church but religious enough that my more reactionary biddie relatives were able to take the stick out of their asses long enough to stop tut-tutting about my godless heathen sister marrying an atheist indian dude and having half-brown babies.
    the sex ed classes were a riot. poor guy didn't know we'd all already been 'ruined' by heathen liberal godless sex ed before and we just kept challenging his assetions that abortion was bad, abstinence before marriage was ideal, and his utter discomfort about anything not 100% heterosexual.
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  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kittylady View Post
    Over here (at least in the 70's) it seemed very much at the will of the individual parish priest and with Sperm Donor's family priest being perfectly fine with visiting a new mother to threaten Hellfire and Damnation for not marrying in a Catholic church or converting...

    The thing is, if they HAD married in a Catholic church they wouldn't have been allowed the full service anyway because it was an interfaith marriage. Ma Kitty had attended another interfaith marriage and they'd not been allowed to marry before the altar and no hymns and only one prayer (about - you guessed it - redemption for nonbelievers). That's why she chose to marry under her own family's faith instead.
    I wonder if the Catholic Church in the U.K. is a bit more lax due to years of it being illegal to be one. Trying to win back more than recusants so to speak.

    Here, in the NYC Archdiocese at least until the present Cardinal and the on preceding him, they’ve all be stoned cold old school Irish priests. Scary fuckers 😂 They ruled with an iron fist and were rigid and inflexible. My parish had a real douche Monsignor running it until 2010ish when he was replaced by a guy who turned out to be gay and was embezzling donations to buy his lover a Manhattan coop and a beach house on the Jersey shore.

    I have friends that were interfaith and she (Catholic) wanted at least the ceremony in the Church. Initially they were denied due to it being interfaith. They appealed to the Archdiocese and that decision was reversed. However, they had a very heft $1500 “donation” for use. They also had to promise to baptize their kids. Needless to say, child one had a Protestant baptism and Jewish naming and child two just a Jewish naming.

    I was married one year prior in the same church. We paid $300 plus the cost of the runner. 🤷*♀️🙄

    I had family, both Catholics, turned away from the Church because they were pregnant and the parish refused to marry them. They went across the street to the Lutherans who were more than happy to do so. This was in 2005! Crazy back asswards. Clearly they wanted to commit and raise their child in the”bonds of holy matrimony “ in their faith. I think you can look past the whole pregnant first issue.

    For K-8 I went to the parish school. Principal was old school and mean. Most faculty were pay but the handful of nuns left were kind and great educators but firm. The 7th& 8th grade dean was clearly a lesbian- no one cared. She played folk music and songs about diarrhea on her guitar 😂😂 the religion teacher in charge of Confirmation would have the boys over to her house to do chores for her.

    The dean and Sr. were both fired the year in graduated. Parents were in an uproar. Many faculty moved to the local private catholic hs in protest. So I had the same damn teachers for another 4 years.


    sr left her order and she and the dean moved into a house down the block from my parents. They eventually adopted a little girl and Sr passed away a few months ago in her early 90s.

    About a year after I graduated HS Dateline ran an episode about allegations that the religion teacher was abusing the 7th & 8th grade boys that did yard work for her. The first allegation was from a guy in my sisters grade (2 years ahead of me) and several boys in my class also came forward. The Archdiocese settled with ALL of them. I heard the first guy received $1 million and the boys in my grade about $500k each

    One very good friend of mine passed away in a car accident a few months before it all went public. On his 18th birthday. He spent much of his teens troubled; drinking and drugging. Looking back I’m convinced she did something to him. He spent a lot of time at her house with the 3 boys in our grade that came forward. I never asked any of them about deceased friend but I’d bet the answer would be yes. His mom believes so too.

  10. #40
    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    Jesus. What the fuck is it with the Catholic church? At this point, I'm glad the gay monsignor embezzled their funds to his lover and his co-op/Jersey Shore house. Fuuuuuuck the Catholic church.


    It's damn eerie the hold they have over people in this day and age. My MIL scrabbled her way up the corporate ladder in the 70-80-90's and dealt with all the "good o'l boy" sexism shit. She's smart and a feminist and pretty damn cool but she still has serious catholic guilt to this day. It's fucked up.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beeyotch View Post
    Jesus. What the fuck is it with the Catholic church? At this point, I'm glad the gay monsignor embezzled their funds to his lover and his co-op/Jersey Shore house. Fuuuuuuck the Catholic church.


    It's damn eerie the hold they have over people in this day and age. My MIL scrabbled her way up the corporate ladder in the 70-80-90's and dealt with all the "good o'l boy" sexism shit. She's smart and a feminist and pretty damn cool but she still has serious catholic guilt to this day. It's fucked up.
    It’s interesting, as lapsed as I am I actually fight the Catholic guilts at times. My family isn’t even particularly devout. My maternal grandmother was as she got older. But she never pushed it on us. We were all sent to Catholic schools simply due to the NYC public school system being meh.

    My MIL completely different story. She tried every damn day to “bring us back”. The best part of it, she didn’t even know her own Bible. She confessed to never having read it cover to cover.

    She once said when she died she wanted us to pray for her and have Masses said so she wouldn’t be in purgatory indefinitely. I replied with, “you do realize purgatory is not mentioned once clearly in the Bible, right? It was a money grab indulgence that became part of the doctrine.

    I can also quote to you what passages the Church interprets is about purgatory but it’s not defined as such. It talks about agony, torment and a soul’s purification. But it never says you’re in an in between place. The theology of penance is what started this whole idea of being stuck completing the penances unfinished in life before journeying to Heaven. Writings by theologians and Popes is what establishes the idea of purgatory for Catholics. That idea led to part of the The Great Schism.”

    She had no idea what the Great Schism is, the differences in faith between Catholics and Protestants, etc. Even what an indulgence is.

    After that, she was less enthusiastic in pushing her beliefs at me. She told R she couldn’t debate me because between my knowledge of history and my years receiving daily religious instruction I could “twist it” to fit my own anti-Catholic agenda. I’m not anti-Catholic. I’m anti corruption, marginalization and oh yeah, child rape. I mean, hello I was married in the Catholic Church because I wanted to be. R deferred to me on that cause he didn’t care either way. And he spent like 12 years as an altar boy!

    R would always tell her she was a sheeple. Most of what I learned I actually learned in Catholic schools! I had a very secular education in both grammar school and high school. Sure there was religion every day but we also read books and discussed world religions and world history and how the Church was impacted, etc. Especially in high school. The instruction was less about doctrine and catechism. We read the Bible for 2 years and the discussion was more about a historical perspective and differences between Old and New Testaments. year 3 was religions of the world and senior year was death and dying and not just from the Catholic perspective. It was basically a continuation of the world religion class with a narrower focus.
    Last edited by Charmed Hour; June 15th, 2020 at 05:59 AM.

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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    It's pretty wild to see the difference in experiences other Catholics had here. My mom considered our church a borderline breakaway church because our pastor looked traditional, but was only traditional in the sense of the order of the mass. He constantly quoted Hans Kung, who is a rebel Swiss Catholic priest who, among other things, rejected papal infallibility. Kung was wildly unpopular among conservative Catholics.

    My Catholic high school was run by Xaverians, who seem a lot like Jesuits in that they are very scholarly and seem almost like borderline agnostics when discussing religion (at least in my classes).

    I also wanted to add that we had our Catholic wedding ceremony about a year after our civil marriage. We had to go to pre cana (the classes you take before marriage) even though we were already married. I want to say, though, it was some of the most useful advice we ever received about having a civil, fair marriage, and I constantly think about it.
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    Silver Member Mrs Fawlty's Avatar
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    I've got a funny tale to tell about my niece's confirmation into the catholic church. The church was full, several children were attending for their confirmation and all families and loved ones were there.
    Anyway, Father Paul(his real name!) read some passages fronm the Bible. He then began to speak about the virgin Mary. He said.........'......the Virgin Mary....probably the only virgin in the whole of Wales!!!!!!....'. My brother's ex-wife was disgusted but every time she glanced at me I had my head in my hands....I was trying to bite my tongue to stop me screeching laughing!
    As a non-Catholic I seriously considered joining the catholic church, after all, Father Paul sounds like my kinda priest! Hahahaha!
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    I just wanted to add that this band plays shitty country music and each one of them has a super-punchable face. "Lady A"......they can go fuck themselves.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ManxMouse View Post
    I just wanted to add that this band plays shitty country music and each one of them has a super-punchable face. "Lady A"......they can go fuck themselves.
    Manx, where have you been?!? Hope you’re well.
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