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Thread: Kristen Stewart: Not Being A Feminist Is "Really Ridiculous"

  1. #16
    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    She does look really pretty in that pic.

    Here's a funny thing. We have a friend who is a stay at home dad. His wife makes an insane amount of money and he's happy to stay home with the kids. He does a little bit of appraisal work on the side. He once told me "You think people look down on you for being at stay at home mom, let me tell you about me!".

  2. #17
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    And I'm sure many women do it to him.
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  3. #18
    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by witchcurlgirl View Post
    And I'm sure many women do it to him.
    I think so. Most of the guys think it's pretty cool. My SO said he wishes I made the kind of money for him to stay home. He would love it.
    witchcurlgirl and sputnik like this.

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    Elite Member BITTER's Avatar
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    Just don’t watch my movies.”
    Done.
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    Elite Member Lobelia's Avatar
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    I kind of feel bad that I'm completely distracted from what she's saying by that horrid munchkin robot dress. Is it just me?
    "I've cautiously embraced jeggings"
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  6. #21
    czb
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    Quote Originally Posted by witchcurlgirl View Post
    And I'm sure many women do it to him.
    hmmm. the two local stay at home dads i know are pretty respected. at least as far as i can tell.

  7. #22
    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by czb View Post
    hmmm. the two local stay at home dads i know are pretty respected. at least as far as i can tell.
    You live in a much more progressive place. The OC housewives need someone to pay for their Escalade and lululemon

  8. #23
    Elite Member Kathie_Moffett's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ConstanceSpry View Post
    A lot of so-called feminists I know want all women to conform to their idea of feminism and consider those who don't feminist failures.
    Quote Originally Posted by ConstanceSpry View Post
    Like if you have kids, you can't stay home with them.
    SF Bay Area native here. From 1970s-era grammar school into 1980s high school, about the only course anyone advocated for my female classmates and I was a college level career. Becoming a professional student or a flaky hippie for a few years was right out, but so were blue collar careers and even art or music, except within a few rigid parameters, none of which involved being supported financially by a more practical-minded spouse.

    Wanting to be a stay-at-home Mom wasn't even mentioned. The social climate was so absolutely down on the mere idea. We were "wimmin/womyn," not slaves of the patriarchy. We were supposed to roar, not sniffle, we weren't even supposed to "breed" at all and if we did we weren't supposed to bother with it until we were...oh, 38, or 40.

    One of my best friends from high school only had a kid because her more old school husband really wanted one. They went for it early, which was lucky because it turns out she could only have one, and later, she probably wouldn't have been able to at all. But that kid turned out to be her greatest joy. She's always worked, but she never really found a career that inspired her.

    I've heard so many arguments about this over the years. There are some very intolerant bitches out there who can't seem to get it through their thick skulls that a woman actually having the freedom to do whatever the fuck she wants with her life is what constitutes real feminism.

    Quote Originally Posted by KrisNine View Post
    I think so. Most of the guys think it's pretty cool. My SO said he wishes I made the kind of money for him to stay home. He would love it.
    Ha, same here. I don't blame him.
    Did you know that every time a parent gives in to their kid's whines and buys them candy at the checkout lane, a kitten gets diabetes?-Dlisted
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  9. #24
    Elite Member Bellatheball's Avatar
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    I've heard so many arguments about this over the years. There are some very intolerant bitches out there who can't seem to get it through their thick skulls that a woman actually having the freedom to do whatever the fuck she wants with her life is what constitutes real feminism.
    100,000 times, yes. I grew up with a working mom who always told me I should earn my own way and not rely on my husband. The truth is, some of that probably came from the insecurities in their marriage and had nothing to do with "feminism." That said, if you had told me in my 20s, I'd want to be a stay at home mom, I'd have laughed and said it was ridiculous. I was too busy chasing degrees and a career.

    Fast forward several years, a guy who is truly my favorite adult in the world, a few great kids, and I'd stay home in a heart beat. I've achieved most/all of my career goals. Now I'm most interested in having a happy home for our family. I could do it better as a SAHM. If anyone wants to tell me that's wrong, they can fuck right off.
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  10. #25
    czb
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    Quote Originally Posted by KrisNine View Post
    You live in a much more progressive place. The OC housewives need someone to pay for their Escalade and lululemon
    i dunno. sometimes i think we live in a 1950s bubble. the SAHMs expect their husbands to work hard and bring home the bacon - organic, grass-fed, low nitrate, of course. keep them ensconced in a high-end home and driving a range rover. the moms play tennis and shuttle kids around. and gossip. but of the two SAHDs i know, one is way under the radar and one is totally in the mix. in the mix is super social, volunteers left and right, and is an all around good guy. mr czb looks at him in awe! how does he do it? he is always so positive! then we got to know in the mix much more. boy can put down a cocktail. or four. and he probably has to, being as involved as he is with very young kids and hens galore.
    KrisNine and Kathie_Moffett like this.

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    Elite Member InigoMontoya's Avatar
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    I am the generation that came after the initial push. Lots of women, to me, don't know how easy we have it, compared to earlier generations (and other countries). The most oddly interesting thing I have found is reading all the conflicting shit on xoJane. Articles, comments, on what feminism means. The try-hard of "this makes me a feminist!" I also was young once and an aspiring writer, yet think, "You don't have a clue."

  12. #27
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Women don't have to work outside the home, but they should make sure they ​can if they have to. Call it feminism or plain common sense. Life has a way of throwing us curve balls so divorce, widowhood, a husband that loses his ability to work to illnesss or injury are all real possibilities in anyone's life.
    sputnik, sluce, faithanne and 4 others like this.



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  13. #28
    czb
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    ^^^ this

    one of the biggest lies women are told is that their work gap won't matter, they will be able to get a job. and all the volunteer work they do will count towards getting a new gig. LIES!! *if* you want to go back to the level where you were before a multi-year gap, this is ridic. if you don't care about your level or your position, then be prepared to start at the bottom, competing with new college graduates.
    KrisNine and sputnik like this.

  14. #29
    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by witchcurlgirl View Post
    Women don't have to work outside the home, but they should make sure they ​can if they have to. Call it feminism or plain common sense. Life has a way of throwing us curve balls so divorce, widowhood, a husband that loses his ability to work to illnesss or injury are all real possibilities in anyone's life.
    Absolutely! Women should be able to work to take care of themselves or their family. They also should earn dollar for dollar what a man earns, not 78 cents of every dollar. I think that's what a lot of young women don't realize.

  15. #30
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    I agree that both men and women need to be prepared to support themselves and provide for their families. I also agree that when one takes a break from career to stay home with the family, they cannot expect to return and be paid the same level as those who stayed in the workforce all those years. I see this with my sister right now who took 15 years off and now gets frustrated by "all these younger people getting paid more but know less about life." Newsflash - you worked for 5 years after college, quit to have your kids, and now lack the knowledge based these young kids possess. I agree that pay should be equal based on education, and experience, not gender.

    Anyway - this article is long but very interesting.

    http://www.newsweek.com/2014/10/03/t...on-272654.html

    The Three Letter Word Driving a Gender Revolution
    By Elisabeth Braw / September 29, 2014 8:56 AM EDT

    "We haven’t started using it at home yet, but it’s just a matter of habit,” says Sofia Bergman, a Swedish mother of two. “But it’s a good thing if nurseries and schools use it.”

    She’s referring to hen, the new Swedish gender-neutral pronoun introduced at two Stockholm nurseries in 2012. Today hen is frequently used by Swedish children and adults alike. Now other European countries are joining the gender-*neutrality trend.

    “Fourteen major retailers have made changes since we started our campaign almost two years ago,” reports Tricia Lowther, a mother-of-one in northern England and a member of the Let Toys Be Toys initiative, which lobbies for gender-neutral toy aisles. “They’ve taken down boys’ and girls’ signs. The blue and pink aisles remain, but things are happening.”

    The retailers doing away with boys’ and girls’ toy signage are major ones indeed: Tesco, Sainsbury’s, Morrisons, Boots. The National Union of Teachers, for its part, has launched the Breaking the Mould initiative to address gender stereotypes in primary schools. Marks & Spencer has gone even further, making its toy labelling gender-neutral. The makers of the popular Nerf gun have, in turn, interpreted the trend their own way, launching a pink version for girls. In Norway, Canada and Australia activists are also calling for an end to boys’ and girls’ signage in toy shops.

    Yet in the quest for gender equality in the toddler world, no country has gone as far as Sweden. The nurseries that first introduced hen still use it, and others have joined them. Several new children’s books feature a gender-neutral protagonist.

    “Sweden is really the pioneer,” says Lann Hornscheidt, a professor of gender studies and linguistics at the Humboldt University’s Center for Transdisciplinary Gender Studies, who has extensively studied gender-neutral education. “No other country has made such an effort to break down gender barriers among children.” (Lotta Rajalin, the director of the nurseries that first introduced hen, did not respond to an interview request.)

    In fact, the humble nursery has – at least in Sweden – gone from a place that provides a safe and playful environment for young children to a forum that pioneers new social norms. Though there are no official statistics regarding the number of Swedish nurseries using hen, Maria Hulth of the gender equality consulting firm Jämställt (“equalised”) notes that individual teachers now often opt to use hen even when it’s not the nursery’s policy. But, she notes, Swedish nurseries’ and primary schools’ gender-neutral efforts don’t end at the neutral pronoun: “They’re putting a lot of effort into avoiding words like boys and girls, instead just saying ‘children’. And norm critique is growing extremely fast.” Hulth reports that her own two children routinely use hen with each other.

    Not familiar with norm critique? The school of thought is largely a Swedish phenomenon. It teaches that traditional norms, such as distinguishing between men and women, gay and straight, and able-bodied and disabled, must be dismantled in order to achieve an equal society. For example, says Hulth, “all children should be able to wear what they want. Dresses are not just for girls. And pink is a beautiful colour that should be available to everybody.”

    Researchers are now beginning to probe how much two years of hen has impacted children’s behaviour. But, warns Karin Milles, a linguist at Södertörn University in Stockholm, identifying the pronoun’s direct effect will be difficult.

    “If a boy behaves a certain way, is it because he says hen or because he wears nail polish? It’s impossible to tell,” says Milles. Several government agencies now use hen, which was added to the official dictionary this year. On an average day, hen is found in 15 newspapers. Some Norwegians have adopted the pronoun as well.

    To its supporters, Sweden’s nursery world of hen and pink-for-all is a civil rights nirvana. But, argues Dr David Eberhard, a leading Swedish psychiatrist, a new pronoun won’t change the fact that the vast majority of people identify either as men or women. “Whatever you choose to call people, the biological differences between men and women remain,” he notes. “We should treat each other with respect, but ignoring biological gender differences is crazy. Making us identical won’t create more equality.” Boys should be allowed to play with dolls – and girls with cars – if they like to, says Eberhard, who coined the expression “safety addiction” in reference to Sweden’s health and safety system. “But”, he adds, “calling them hen instead of him or her? That’s child cruelty.”

    Given that Sweden is the world’s fourth most gender-equal country, as measured in the World Economic Forum’s latest gender gap report (only Iceland, Finland and Denmark score higher), practices like the use of hen suggest an already progressive country trying to fix a minor problem.

    Far from it, argues Hornscheidt: “The gender gap creates poverty among women. Initiatives like hen are all part of an effort to create a more just world.”
    WeWeLies likes this.
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