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Thread: Kleptoskank Lindsay Lohan Nicks Bling, Evades Jail, Blames Black Kids Everywhere

  1. #1426
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    Oct 2005
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    Hahahaha Sput!!!!! Self-Entitled is coolllllllllll
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  2. #1427
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    Top Secret Spy for Leann Rimes


    Dlisted | Be Very Afraid

    The Next Life White Oprah Will Ruin Gets Her First Cover!

    Since Lindsay Lohan can't even get a job scaring the bowels out of a bitch with her "Ayes Snort Your Brainz" face at Knott's Scary Farm, White Oprah needs somebody to be the main coke winner of the family since the ball of Vicodin mash in her head gets an allergic reaction every time it thinks of getting a real job to support her family. And the only cure for that allergy is to a shove a Neti Pot full of vodka up the swollen anus on her nose. Who's going to pay for her medicine?! That's where 17-year-old Ali Lohan comes in.

    As you've already laughed your lungs out, Ali was signed to NEXT Model Management back in August and was called a future fashion icon by her agent (who obviously said this after staring deep into the crystal meth ball). And now here's the future of fashion ("But I want to live in the past..." - fashion) on something called Fault Magazine with a rayon dutch boy wig on her head and an ear full of White Oprah screaming at her to pose faster, because they need to get to the plastic surgeon's office so he can make her even skinnier by lipoing out the fatter pieces of her soul.

    I pains me to say this, especially as a Barbizon alumni, but some of these pictures aren't as awful as I'd think they would be. Yes, in some these shots she looks like a malnourished Gorn in Blade Runner drag. But the freckled wonder sort of pulls it off in other pictures.

    This is still a freckled-splattered wrong and White Oprah should be charged under the anti-terrorism act. I mean, this photo shoot is funding the Lohan's famewhoring ways. Case closed!

    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  3. #1428
    Elite Member Lalique's Avatar
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    The land of ice and snow


    The skin on her chest is mesmerizing.
    What I really want to know is whether it makes your poop glow in the dark after eating it! ~ Kittylady

  4. #1429
    Elite Member Cali's Avatar
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    citizen of the world


    I just.... do not understand?? WHAT is going on with her?? This photo is terrifying...

  5. #1430
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    Top Secret Spy for Leann Rimes


    This is a starlet:

    This is starlet on drugs:

    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  6. #1431
    Elite Member kalirga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trixie View Post
    I have to admit I felt a slight twinge of sympathy when Shawn Holley said she had to work to support herself and to support her family. She's been the Lohan family meal ticket since she was a little kid, and as much as I loathe her, that's got to be a heavy burden. It must really suck to be pimped out by your own mother. Which is what I think is literally happening now.

    She's an adult and she is 100% responsible for her choices. It's tough to pull the plug on family, but at some point you have to decide it's better to be a "bad daughter" than a sick family's pawn.

    She most certainly does not have to support her family. If she does, that is her choice and to use it as an excuse in court is ridiculous.

    She has all the resources at her disposal- therapy, time, opportunities to give to the community and learn what real victim-hood and hardship look like, etc. Fuck having any sympathy for her. She feels sorry enough for herself.

  7. #1432
    Silver Member Jana's Avatar
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    Canada, eh!


    Quote Originally Posted by kalirga View Post
    She's an adult and she is 100% responsible for her choices. It's tough to pull the plug on family, but at some point you have to decide it's better to be a "bad daughter" than a sick family's pawn.

    She most certainly does not have to support her family. If she does, that is her choice and to use it as an excuse in court is ridiculous.

    She has all the resources at her disposal- therapy, time, opportunities to give to the community and learn what real victim-hood and hardship look like, etc. Fuck having any sympathy for her. She feels sorry enough for herself.
    Everything you said I co-sign. She has some really messed up parents, but at 25, it is now her choices. She does not have to support them and she does not even have to stay in touch with them if they are undermining her. It would be in her best interest, career wise, to go under the radar for a long time, sort herself out and slowly rebuild her reputation once she is clean and stable. Obviously, LL cannot be out of the spot light and away from drama. Her choices. Addictions are tough but I am no longer feeling sympathy for her.

  8. #1433
    Elite Member SoCalMarie's Avatar
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    SoCal... Duh.


    Quote Originally Posted by sluce View Post
    Assistant Chief Coroner Ed Winter thinks Lindsay Lohan's latest excuse -- that she was late to the morgue because she had trouble finding the entrance to the Coroner's office -- is a big pile of dog crap
    Uh. Duh.

    Whos fault is it now, Lindsay?
    Your alarm didn't go off? The alarm on your cell phone didn't go off either? Your mom-ager didn't wake you up because she was passed out herself?
    Oh, your assistant didn't wake you either?

    You got lost getting into a building you've been to before? You couldn't follow the specific instructions the director of the morgue gave you because your assistant wasn't there to read them to you?

    Again, she refuses to do anything to help herself and/or the situations she's in.
    She's the epitome of laziness.

    Yes,people keep catering to her, even catering her punishments to make them easy to accomplish- but as we know- that's not doing anything. She isn't making any effort regardless

    Lock her up. Without her adderall, vicodin, or any other med that she doesn't need for survival - and let her sober up and realize where she is and what brought her to this point.

  9. #1434
    Elite Member bellini's Avatar
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    Oct 2007


    Her red hair was so gorgeous. Why does she like that mop of straw? her judgment is so off about everything.

  10. #1435
    Elite Member t13nif's Avatar
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    Oct 2006
    i'm in yer manifesto, correcting your spelling mistakes


    Quote Originally Posted by Cali View Post
    I just.... do not understand?? WHAT is going on with her?? This photo is terrifying...
    "Hope everyone' shavin a good one!" - Karistiona

  11. #1436
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by t13nif View Post
    at least I'd still touch the cat... Lindz, NEVAR!
    Kill him.
    Kill her.
    Kill It.
    Kill everything... that IS the solution!
    twitchy molests my signature!

  12. #1437
    Elite Member NVash's Avatar
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    Someone posted this on TMZ, apologize for the length but it's worth it:
    LOHAN Biography of Civil Disobedience
    October 4, 2005: Lindsay, then 19, crashes her Mercedes into the passenger side of a van that was pulling into traffic in West Hollywood. Lindsay, her passenger and the driver of the van were briefly hospitalized for minor injuries. She is not ticketed.
    Jan. 4, 2006: Tells Vanity Fair she has an eating disorder and has used drugs.
    July 26, 2006: Lindsay is hospitalized for “heat exhaustion” while filming ‘Georgia Rule’, though it’s widely assumed she’s actually just hungover and/or still drunk, and the movies producer writes an open letter telling her to knock it off.
    Dec. 1, 2006: Dina Lohan tells Ryan Seacrest that Lindsay is in AA, but not because she has a problem. She says Lindsay only goes to meetings to hang out with her friends.
    Dec. 12, 2006: Lindsay tells People she’s been in AA for a year and hasn’t had a drink in a week.
    January 17, 2007: checks into drug rehab for the first time.
    February 16, 2007: checks out of rehab, immediately goes to a bar until 4am.
    March 6, 2007: is taped using cocaine in the bathroom of a London club.
    March 16, 2007: parties and drinks champagne at a club in New York. She’s still underage at this point.
    May 15, 2007: reportedly stole over $10,000 in clothes and jewelry from a 22-year-old model named Lauren Hastings.
    May 26, 2007: is arrested for drunk driving after crashing her Mercedes convertible in Beverly Hills at 5:30am. She then left the scene of the accident. Police also found a “usable” amount of cocaine in her car. It’s her third car crash in two years.
    May 28, 2007: checks into drug rehab for the second time.
    July, 14, 2007: checks out of rehab. That very same day she goes to Vegas and parties at Pure.
    July 24, 2007: while high on cocaine, Lindsay goes on a high speed chase in a stolen Denali down PCH, reaching speeds of 100 miles per hour, that ends when a woman calls Santa Monica police saying Lohan is trying to run her down with a car. Lindsay is arrested on five counts, including driving under the influence of alcohol, driving on a suspended license and possession of narcotics. Police again find cocaine, this time in her pocket. Lindsay tells police they aren’t her pants.
    July 25, 2007: checks into drug rehab for the third time.
    August 3, 2007: a report says Lindsay lost a Louis Vuitton endorsement deal because she kept stealing their clothes during photo shoots.
    August 23, 2007: Lohan gets charged with seven misdemeanor counts for her two DUI arrests earlier that year. She reaches a plea deal, saying she would spend one day in jail, serve 10 days of community service and complete a drug-treatment program. Lohan is placed on 36 months’ probation and required to complete an 18-month alcohol-education program and pay a $300 fine.
    October 5, 2007: checks out of rehab for the third time.
    November 15, 2007: begins her 1 day jail sentence, her punishment for getting two DUI’s just two months apart, including the car chase in a stolen car while high on coke. She’s released 84 minutes later due to overcrowding.
    December 31, 2007: In a video posted on TMZ, Lohan drinks straight from a bottle of champagne while partying in Italy.
    May 6, 2008: steals an $11,000 fur coat from a party in New York; is later photographed wearing it.
    October 2008: a civil lawsuit is filed against Lindsay by three people who were in the Denali during her July 24, 2007, DUI arrest.
    March 13, 2009: Warrant for her arrest issued regarding possible parole violations (alleged failure to attend counseling).
    March 25, 2009: Lindsay is photographed wearing a stolen earring.
    March 16, 2009: Warrant is recalled after Lindsay’s lawyer clears up the “misunderstanding.”
    June 16, 2009: after Lindsay does a photo shoot for Elle magazine, $400,000 in diamonds that were used in the shoot are missing.
    October 16, 2009: Lohan shows up more than an hour late to a probation hearing in Beverly Hills for a progress review on her two DUI cases. She has yet to complete the alcohol counseling program she was ordered to attend in August, but is given another year to do so. The judge warns Lindsay she will go to jail if she keeps skipping meetings and “thumbing her nose” at the court.
    February 8, 2010 According to her probation report, Lindsay failed a drug test a month after leaving rehab.
    February 22, 2010: Lindsay admits to using cocaine.
    April 14, 2010: skips a court ordered deposition related to civil suit. She is photographed out shopping.
    April 21, 2010: misses a second deposition related to civil suit; says she couldn’t get a ride to court by 10 a.m. Was photographed at 2:30 a.m. leaving a club.
    April 23, 2010: named a suspect in the theft of a $35,000 Rolex, is later photographed wearing it.
    April 30, 2010: has yet to complete her alcohol education classes, which is a violation of her probation. She now has 8 days to complete her final 4 classes. These are the same classes she was ordered to attend in August of 2007. She was given 18 months to attend 13 classes. She’s attended 9 in three years.
    May 4, 2010: shows up 22-minutes late for the third attempt at the civil-case deposition; was at Chateau Marmont the night before until 2am.
    May 19, 2010: with 3 more alcohol education classes yet to be completed and only one day to do it, Lindsay goes to France and stays for almost a week. This is a direct violation of her probation.
    May 20, 2010: Photos surface of Lindsay and what appears to be cocaine on a table and rolled up dollar bills in her hand
    May 24, 2010: back in court, Lindsay is not sent to jail after repeatedly violating her probation, but instead is made to wear a bracelet to detect alcohol, a ban on drinking and random weekly drug testing.
    June 8, 2010: her alcohol monitor bracelet goes off, indicating that Lindsay is drinking. An arrest warrant is issued, but she posts a $200,000 bail before it is carried out.
    July 6, 2010: Lohan is sentenced to 90 days in jail and 90 days in rehab for violating her probation and skipping her alcohol education classes. “I did everything that I was told to do and did the best I could,” Lindsay tells the judge.
    July 20, 2010: Lindsay begins her 90 day jail sentence. 12 days later, she’s released due to over crowding.
    August 2, 2010: begins her court ordered 90 day drug rehab. 23 days later, she’s released.
    August 26, 2010: is given stricter probation terms, including random drug testing.
    September 17, 2010: fails a drug test, testing positive for cocaine. This is a direct violation of her probation.
    September 24, 2010: instead of going to jail, Lindsay is fitted with another alcohol detection bracelet and allowed to live at home while awaiting a full hearing for her parole violation.
    October 22, 2010: is given yet another warning by a judge, and instead of jail, is again sent to rehab, this time for 90 days. Is told by the judge that if she drinks or violates her probation in any way, she will be sent to jail for 180 days. Later, her probation report would reveal that Lindsay drank while in rehab and tested positive for alcohol use one month after leaving rehab. No charges are ever filed.
    December 12, 2010: Lindsay is allegedly caught sneaking out of rehab and going to a bar, and then hits the rehab staff member who confronts her.
    January 3, 2011: Lohan finishes her fourth stay in rehab and moves into an apartment in Venice, California.
    January 4, 2011: The Riverside County Sheriff’s Department determines that Lindsay Lohan violated probation during her time in rehab by leaving the property, drinking, and assaulting a staff member. No charges are ever filed.
    January 22, 2011: Lohan goes to a jewelry store with a friend who distracts the clerk while she steals a $2,500 necklace.
    February 9, 2011: Lohan is charged with felony grand theft.
    April 22, 2011: Lindsay is found guilty of violating her probation and sentenced to 120 days in jail.
    May 11, 2011: Lindsay pleads no-contest to her theft charges, but is not given any additional jail time, and instead of beginning her 120 day sentence for parole violation, she will be allowed to serve that sentence at home with an electronic monitor for the next 35 days, and WILL STILL GET RELEASED EARLY DUE TO PRISON OVER CROWDING, even though she’s not actually in prison. Because of this, she will only “serve” about 14 days at her condo near the beach.
    June 22, 2011: Hoping to conduct a “turn around” lifestyle interview with Matt Lauer and the Today Show, with segments on E!, Lindsay pulls the “Ultimate Diva” routine, and blows off the Lauer interview. Matt flew 3000 miles to conduct the interview.
    June 23, 2011: Lindsay tests positive for alcohol allegedly consumed while conducting a “roof top” party for her friends at her Venice Beach apartment. During her house arrest, Lindsay conducted interviews, shot commercials, and read many scripts in her spare time, so she claims. Lindsay is to appear in court today with further recommendations by the County Probation Department
    July 1, 2011- Lindsay Lohan is summoned to court for not completing her community service on time. The judge gives her a 1 year extension.
    August 13, 2011- Lindsay Lohan gets plastered at Kim Kardashian wedding while Mom, Dina lohan, is seen feeding her daughter shots.
    August 23, 2011- Lindsay Lohan sues Pitbull for mentioning her name in his song
    September 14th, 2011- Lindsay Lohan makes a scene at a fashion event and throws a drink at an unsuspecting waitor which was meant for a photographer who later trashes her on twitter.
    October 13th, 2011- Lindsay Lohan is kicked out of her community service due to lack of participation. She would not show up for days and when she did attend she would only stay for one hour and leave.
    October 14th, 2011- Lindsay, after finding out that she has been skipping on community service, it is also found she is blowing off counseling which was mandated by the court. This is direct violation of her probation.
    Oct 19th 2011- In court, Judge Saunter revokes bail and tells Lindsay directly to complete 16 hours of community at the Los Angelas county morgue to be started on October 20th.
    Oct 20th 2011- Lindsay is a no show at the county morque. This is direct violation of the judges orders

    M.E. posted this on 10/20/11 at 1:40pm
    Honestly, this mess is crazy. How far would a regular person get before they were thrown in jail? I think July 24 of 2007 would have been the final straw. Why do they even bother wasting her and our time with this anymore? Its obvious, she can do whatever she wants. Stop wasting her time and let her overdose.

  13. #1438
    Elite Member Air Quotes's Avatar
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    Wow I've never actually seen her laundry list that shit is crazy.
    "A true whore just loves her life." - Sluce

  14. #1439
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Oct 2005
    fellow traveller


    Quote Originally Posted by lurkur View Post
    As a self-titled grammar nazi who has self-appointed myself queen of the rules, I'm gonna pull rank on you right here.

    Self-entitled is an actual term, but like any other term, it should be used in the proper way. Calling any of the Blohans "self-entitled" is both an acceptable and accurate description!

    This has come up on the board before, and this example should help show how a word can in fact change meaning when it is modified with "self-".

    If you want to see the extended grammar nazifesto on this (and who wouldn't?), take a peek.

    Not that it really matters. I just wandered in here after seeing a clip of the court footage on the news. I think the shit smears on her face were to cover up bruises. I don't think she was "rolling her eyes"--she looks like she's on SOMETHING and can't even control her motor skills. Tweaked out of her mind.
    you're wrong.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

  15. #1440
    Elite Member shedevilang's Avatar
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    *whistles nope she's not wrong
    Silly bitches, twitchy links are NOT for kids!-Mel

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