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Thread: Kleptoskank Lindsay Lohan Nicks Bling, Evades Jail, Blames Black Kids Everywhere

  1. #1006
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    Stolen anything yet?

  2. #1007
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Maybe not, but bitch is drunk again already.


    Thursday, June 30th 2011
    Lindsay Lohan Is Drunk Again




    It's time for Delusion vs. Fact!
    Delusion: Seconds after Lindsay Lohan was thrown back into the wild after completing house arrest, she told friends that she was going to have a quiet night at home with the Curious Case of Ali Lohan because she didn't want to face the paparazzi.

    Fact: Hours after Lindsay Lohan was thrown back into the wild after completing house arrest, she did the drunk bitch stumble while leaving Lexington Social House early this morning with Emile Hirsch and Lyndsy Fonseca from Nikita. The paps say Blohan was in there for 5 hours. I guess she realized that the best way to face the paparazzi is with a charbroiled drunk face.

    White Oprah is going to try to say that her precious child was merely spending some quality time with her friends and she only sipped on alcohol-free bottled water, but come on. If it looks like a drunk bitch, stumbles like a drunk bitch and droops its eye like a drunk bitch, it's a Lohan! I mean, who sits inside of a club for 5 hours while staying in a state of soberness? That's like putting me in front of a wall of waving dicks and telling me to keep my mouth shut. It's not in the real of any possibilities. Bitch had herself a booze bukkake orgy on her tongue and we all know it. Here we go again...

    Ho is like the drunk cokehead version of Groundhog Day. LiLo wakes up, sees the shadow of a half-full bottle of Jack, downs it and BOOM! We're off again. Get drunk, snort a line, steal some shit, end up in court, get a slap on the wrist, vow to change, cackle at the justice system, get a 50th chance, get drunk, snort a line.... Tale as old as ho's face.
    Splash



    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

  3. #1008
    Gold Member Stereo Inferno's Avatar
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    Lindsay Lohan Advised To Ditch

    By Jen Heger - Radar Legal Editor

    Lindsay Lohan is finally seeing some of her ‘friends’ for what they really are and is planning to ‘clean house’ and weed out the trouble making element that has been dragging her down, RadarOnline.com can exclusively report.

    During the time Lindsay was at home under house arrest a group of friends were at her house partying, and it was the threat of being put back behind bars for violating her probation that has helped the embattled actress to now start deferring to her trusted business advisors and to ditch her wayward pals.

    "Lindsay has surrounded herself with a group of people that are bad for her, period,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com. “These people are trying to make a quick buck off of Lindsay, and making deals without Lindsay's approval, nor her agents at ICM or her business agent, Lou Taylor.

    “Lindsay has a hard time saying no to her friends, but that is now beginning to change. Lindsay wants to get back to work, plain and simple. She doesn't understand why trouble always seems to find her. Her advisors are emphasizing to Lindsay that it's the company she is keeping. Lilo is now beginning to realize that her friends are doing more harm than good for her.”

    Lindsay has been given another amazing window of opportunity to fully stage a true Hollywood comeback, which is a dramatic turn of events given that just last year, the industry had all but written her off. "A year ago, Lindsay couldn't even get a meeting at ICM, the fact that such a respected agency is now repping her speaks volumes about what they think of her as an actress, the source says.

    “Lindsay finally has a trusted team in place, from her agent John Burnham, talent manager Evan Hainey, well respected Hollywood publicist, Steve Honig and her faithful powerhouse attorney Shawn Holley. If Lindsay would hunker down, and do only what her team tells her to do, her future is truly limitless.”

    However, Lindsay has had a hard time severing ties with the past. "It's distressing and concerning that Lindsay chose to go out to a Hollywood hotspot with these friends on her first night of freedom,” the source says. “Lindsay told her team yesterday that she was going to stay home for the night, and not go out. She was probably telling the truth when she said that, but then these people appear and Lindsay is out and about. Lindsay just can't say no to these people, but she is an adult, and she needs to take responsibility for her actions, period.”

    The actress will be working towards completing terms of her community service for the next several months, and then will formally get back to work in January. "Lindsay is counting the days until she is back on set for the John Gotti biopic,” the source says. “Lindsay is turning 25 on July 2nd, and she needs to embrace this opportunity, which could be her last shot at saving her career.
    The ol' "It's not me, it's them" routine.... I hope she doesn't know that she's off the Gotti pic and finds out via the internet.

  4. #1009
    Elite Member nancydrew's Avatar
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    I would bang Emile Hersch.
    (276): Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
    OK, I can't sing, I can't act, I'm dumb, I'm a hillbilly, but I can twerk, so whatever.-Miley Cyrus

  5. #1010
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    She doesn't understand why trouble always seems to find her.
    uh, cuz she goes and blows trouble in the bathroom, steals a line and does it off the toilet tank, then goes out and gets shitfaced on trouble's tab.

    All trouble gets for it is a raging case of megaclap.
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  6. #1011
    Elite Member SoCalMarie's Avatar
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    The justice system really showed her who's boss this time, eh?
    I can see she's learned her lessons through that super harsh punishment of house arrest- in a beach house in sunny california, allowed to booze and coke it up. Man, how did she ever survive?

  7. #1012
    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    Worse thing to put on your resume: hanging out with Lindsay Lohan.
    Posted from my iPhone

  8. #1013
    Elite Member Penny Lane's Avatar
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    I'm giving her 6 weeks--2 months tops--until she fucks up again.

  9. #1014
    Elite Member SoCalMarie's Avatar
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    The only thing I'm thankful for after seeing those pics is that she's not driving.

    And in case I miss it - Happy 40th Birthday Lindsay!!!

    Oh, wait.... I mean 25th


  10. #1015
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    Two things jump out at me from the pix... she is definitely wasted, and she has dead eyes. How sad to have had so many opportunities that many people only dream of, and flush (or snort) it all away.

  11. #1016
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    ^Aww look! Now we know what LeAnn Rimes purse was doing before it became her favorite bag!!

  12. #1017
    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    She bores me. Wake me up when she's dead.
    Hello mother fucker! when you ask a question read also the answer instead of asking another question on an answer who already contain the answer of your next question!
    -Bugdoll-



  13. #1018
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoCalMarie View Post

    And in case I miss it - Happy 40th Birthday Lindsay!!!

    Oh please girl, I don't know any 40 year olds that look as bad as Lohan.



    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


    If I wanted the government in my womb I'd fuck a Senator

  14. #1019
    Elite Member Lenny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoCalMarie View Post
    The only thing I'm thankful for after seeing those pics is that she's not driving.

    And in case I miss it - Happy 40th Birthday Lindsay!!!

    Oh, wait.... I mean 25th

    When I see an unflattering pic of myself I always cringe. I wonder what LiLo does? That pic is hilariously ugly. And I bet she thinks she looks hot.

  15. #1020
    Elite Member SoCalMarie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lenny View Post
    When I see an unflattering pic of myself I always cringe. I wonder what LiLo does? That pic is hilariously ugly. And I bet she thinks she looks hot.

    I was wondering if that pic was just a "huh?" shot- like she just looked up from... I don't know, playing with her lighter, and the camera caught her off guard. But then I saw the next one, where she's doing her infamous "finger in mouth sexy pose".... still looking like....well, the way she does:


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