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Thread: Kleptoskank Lindsay Lohan Nicks Bling, Evades Jail, Blames Black Kids Everywhere

  1. #901
    Elite Member NickiDrea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MontanaMama View Post
    My understanding is that there is generally a hearing on whether or not someone has violated probation. In this case, the hearing was on the necklace theft, so when the judge violated the probation, Lindsay should have been able to put on evidence that she didn't violate - at least that's what the appeal argument might be. In Hilton's case, I think she did have the hearing on her probation violation and has found to be the crappy person she is - hence to the pokey.
    This is mostly right, except that she really can't put on evidence that she didn't violate. That's a trial issue. The standard for this hearing is whether the evidence presented shows that she more likely than not took it. And even hearsay testimony is enough to violate her.

    She must be appealing on the basis that there is not enough evidence to prove that she took the necklace. But given the low burden of proof at a violation hearing, I'd say the DA met her burden and LiLo is appealing to put off going to jail.

    This is such BS. My clients would have been in jail on a detainer from the second they were accused of taking anything. Even if they appealed they would still be in jail. This is celeb justice and it's unfair.
    "Thankfully I'm an educated multi-millionaire who knows better than to speak to perverted unjust cops without my lawyer. "
    "I think she's psychotic...what do I do?" - Jenny Schecter

  2. #902
    Elite Member Novice's Avatar
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    Thanks guys. I got it now.
    Free Charmed.

  3. #903
    Elite Member Penny Lane's Avatar
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    This self-entitled brat needs an old fashioned smack in the face. The fact that she felt OK with trying to steal a necklace is one thing.. but the fact that she's held up the system with her bullshit for like the 100th time is fucking ridiculous. There is shit out there that is so much more important than this bitch's "issues".

  4. #904
    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    If you were shocked Lindsay Lohan got sentenced to jail yesterday, you're not alone -- sources close to LiLo tell us no one was more shocked than she was.


    Lindsay was sentenced to 120 days in jail yesterday by Judge Stephanie Sautner she was bailed out of Lynwood Correctional Facility after spending five hours inside.

    Sources close to Lindsay tell us she was under the impression she'd be going home after the hearing ... and was "blindsided" when she got sentenced. We're told Lindsay described the situation as "ridiculous" and "f**ked up."

    According to our sources, Lindsay spent her Saturday with her sister, Ali, and her brother, Michael Jr.

    We're told Lindsay is glad she's not behind bars (for the moment) and is looking forward to appealing.

    Lindsay Lohan -- "Blindsided" By Jail Sentence | TMZ.com

    So we know Ms. Lohan already holds awards for chutzpah, delusions of grandeur, and general fuckery, but I do believe she's now put in for the stupidest fucking person on earth. How did she NOT know she was going to jail?
    If i hear one more personal attack, i will type while drunk, then you can cry! - Bugdoll
    (716): I'd call her a cunt, but she doesn't seem to have the depth or warmth
    Quote Originally Posted by shedevilang View Post
    (Replying to MontanaMama) This is some of the smartest shit I ever read

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    Elite Member Novice's Avatar
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    What's fucked up is that she's not *still* in jail....
    Free Charmed.

  6. #906
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  7. #907
    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    FreeLL will be back now that Linds is out on bail....again
    Basic rule of Gossip Rocks: Don't be a dick.Tati
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    I wonder how many times she'll go before a judge explaining why she hasn't completed her community service in the set amount of time. You know that will happen at least a few times.

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    Quote Originally Posted by thekid View Post
    I wonder how many times she'll go before a judge explaining why she hasn't completed her community service in the set amount of time. You know that will happen at least a few times.
    ...unless Dina can find more people to pay off to sign off on Lindsay's punch ticket first - that's my prediction.... of course she'll arrange a couple photo -op's so it will look like she's doing her community service in the beginning...

  10. #910
    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    ^^Absolutely, why worry about exploiting the women at a shelter and the recently deceased if you can get a little love from radaronline
    If i hear one more personal attack, i will type while drunk, then you can cry! - Bugdoll
    (716): I'd call her a cunt, but she doesn't seem to have the depth or warmth
    Quote Originally Posted by shedevilang View Post
    (Replying to MontanaMama) This is some of the smartest shit I ever read

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    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    Useless slore.
    Posted from my iPhone

  12. #912
    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmlok View Post
    Hee! Someone should tweet that to her.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beeyotch View Post
    Hee! Someone should tweet that to her.
    I'm tempted to get a Twitter account just so I can

  14. #914
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    LOVE lainey's take on this mess.


    Lindsay LOHAN gets it in the ass

    I was at the airport in Vancouver getting ready for my flight to London on Friday when the news crossed my blackberry that Lindsay LOHAN was sentenced to 120 days in jail. Once upon a time that would have been, like, breaking and urgent. Now it’s just a *kanye shrug*. But big f-cking ups to Judge Stephanie Sautner for giving it to her in the ass.

    This is how you give it to someone in the ass:

    You reduce her charge from Grand Theft to a Misdemeanor and then, as she’s feeling all confident and smug, you slap her in the face with a jail term.

    What’s up motherf-cker???!!!

    And that’s what this girl needs. Some tough and rough reality. In fact, Judge Sautner sounds like my mother. When you’re a dumbass, you need someone to tell you:

    “Would a person with any brains walk out with a necklace with [security] cameras on? Maybe it's brazenness, stupidity – I don't know what. Perhaps it was a desire to hide in plain sight."


    The lawyer apparently tried to make excuses about Lindsay LOHAN’s “absentmindedness”. But Judge Sautner put the palm in her face:

    "I see her intent [to steal] and I see a level of brazenness.”
    She then pointed out that Lindsay LOHAN didn’t return the necklace for 10 days and wore it around all over the place too.

    "She thumbs her nose at the court. She walks into court with FU on her fingernails. I don't know what that's all about."

    Judge Sautner also isn’t buying Lohan’s constant victim routine. And in addition to the jail sentence, she also slapped 480 hours of community service on her ass. Part of that will happen at the Downtown Women’s Centre. Because “then she will see how truly needy women have to live and that might change her.”

    Amazing, right?

    The rest of the time will be spent at the morgue. THE MORGUE! Lindsay LOHAN will hang out with dead bodies so “to see what happens when people drink and drive”.

    Watch. She’s going to turn that opportunity into a fashion show too, although she was surprisingly sedate on Friday. No tightness. No chilled nipples. No ass hanging out…until next time. Oh and by the way, she’s out on bail now.

    Lindsay Lohan sentenced to 120 days in jail and community service 25apr11
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  15. #915
    Bronze Member TheBoyWhoLived's Avatar
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    Lainey is awesome. I also like Michael K's write up.

    Lindsay Lohan Thinks Danette Meyers Is Out To Get Her Ass




    Like most good hostesses do with their frequent house guests, Lynwood jail keeps a rubber pillow case (it makes scrubbing out the seven-layer fake tan skid marks an easier job), a pair of orange leggings and a copy of "Gandhi for Dummies" on hand just for Lindsay Lohan since she checks in about every other week. But delusion continues to be LiLo's drug of choice, because she's crying to her friends that she must be made out of wood since prosecutor Danette Meyers is on a witch hunt to destroy her. I've always said that you can't trust an L.A. county prosecutor who is a silver kitchen ass wig away from looking just like Madea!


    A source close to LiLo (aka White Oprah calling up TMZ and saying she's a source close to LiLo) tells TMZ that she believes Danette Meyers is wrongfully going hard at her, because of a little something called the L.A. County District Attorney spot. Apparently, Danette is running for D.A. and the throbbing mound of delusion in LiLo's head has produced the idea that Danette is using her to help her campaign. (That must be it! LiLo being the grand ambassador of FUCK-UP has nothing to do with her own actions!)


    But TMZ adds that LiLo really ain't shit to Danette for various reasons. First of all, when the judge lowered the felony grand theft charge to a misdemeanor, Danette asked to be removed from the case (her request was denied), because she figured it would be transferred to the City Attorney. Second of all, Danette has hundreds of major cases on her resume, so LiLo's little misdemeanor is small potatoes to her.


    If this is a witch hunt, when are we going to get to the part where Danette pulls a splintery stake out of Michael Lohan's ass and ties LiLo to it? We've all got boxes of clearance bin PEEPS just waiting for a wood fire to roast on.
    Dlisted

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