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Thread: Kleptoskank Lindsay Lohan Nicks Bling, Evades Jail, Blames Black Kids Everywhere

  1. #601
    Elite Member t13nif's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greysfang View Post
    In the U.S. its not expensive at all, just a court hearing, and then some legwork with government agencies getting your identity changed.

    Ha, i may be wrong, but i think here it's basically filling out a form, paying the fee, and voila!
    "Hope everyone' shavin a good one!" - Karistiona

  2. #602
    Bronze Member FreeLL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beeyotch View Post
    Well, one way or another she's going to jail, right? Even if she goes to trial and they find her not guilty or mistrial (no unanimous decision by the jury)? Please?

    I hope the judge just gets pissed at her trial request, violates her probation and throws her in the pokey right there at the March hearing.
    He can't do that she is definetly not going to jail on March 10th. If she takes a plea then the Judge said there will be a sentencing hearing and that's when she would go to jail. If she doesn't plea then it's a preliminary hearing as well as the probation revocation hearing with a different Judge.

    If she can't get the charge reduced to a misdemeanor then i can see this going to trial. She couldn't even stay out of trouble for the 53 days between leaving rehab and her court date so no way could she handle felony probation.

  3. #603
    Elite Member MsChiff's Avatar
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    Omg thank you twitchy! I just had the best laugh!!!
    Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

  4. #604
    Elite Member Novice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FreeLL View Post
    . Michael Lohan Jr now wants to be known as Michael Cameron.
    Why? Do he think that the British Prime Minister would be a better dad?
    Free Charmed.

  5. #605
    Elite Member Novice's Avatar
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    Feb 24
    '11
    Lindsay Lohan’s crack lies fall apart after viewing surveillance tape

    I’m about to write something absolutely shocking: Lindsay Lohan is a crackhead liar made of crack lies. I know! I’m clutching my pearls as we speak. (®McJag.....) So, remember how Lindsay Lohan stole that necklace and then sauntered around Venice Beach, cracked out of her skull, wearing the stolen necklace? And then the cops got a search warrant, and somebody at the police station tipped her off, and Lindsay didn’t want the cops to raid her place and find all of her hoarded drugs so she arranged for a friend to “drop off” the stolen necklace at the police station. Then, when the charges came down, Lindsay’s team of cracked-out enablers went into overdrive offering possible explanations for the crack thievery. They said Lindsay “borrowed” the necklace. They said the video surveillance would show that Lindsay just “accidentally” took the necklace, because her crack mind is weak and forgetful. They said Lindsay would be found innocent! Lindsay said that she was not raised to lie, cheat or steal. Well, guess what?
    A male shopping with Lindsay Lohan at the beachside jewelry store in Venice, California, distracted an employee as the Mean Girls star stole a gold designer necklace — this according to a law enforcement source who has intimate knowledge of the surveillance video.
    “Lindsay had removed a necklace of hers that she was wearing when she tried on the necklace in question,” the source close to the case told RadarOnline.com, exclusively.
    “As Lindsay was putting her necklace back on, it’s apparent the store clerk was distracted by the male companion that was with Lindsay.”
    The sales associate provided a statement to investigators claiming she didn’t realize that Lohan hadn’t taken the necklace off, RadarOnline.com has learned.
    “The video then shows Lindsay and her male friend walking out of the store, all while Lindsay was wearing the necklace,” said the source. “It’s all clearly visible on the video.”
    Lohan, 24, pleaded not guilty on February 8 to a single count of felony grand theft; if convicted, she could be sent to prison for up to three years. Worryingly for the starlet, prosecutors believe the store surveillance video is strong evidence against her and one source even described it as a “smoking gun”.
    “The District Attorney believes that Lindsay’s friend distracted the clerk on purpose and that could bolster the case if it goes to trial against Lindsay,” said the source. “This simply wasn’t a case of miscommunication of a necklace being loaned and not returned, as Lindsay has claimed.”
    “Distraction theft” — as it is known in some legal quarters — if proved, can help establish a criminal’s intent. Lohan’s high-powered lawyer Shawn Holley didn’t receive the video until Wednesday at L.A.’s Airport Courthouse, where the actress appeared before Superior Court Judge Keith Schwartz for a routine hearing.
    “This case does involve jail time — period,” Schwartz told Lohan, warning actress that he would send her to jail if she accepted a plea deal offered by prosecutors. “If you plead in front of me — if this case resolves in front of me — you are going to jail. Period. It may be an issue as to amount of time.”
    Schwartz said that if Lohan rejects the offer the case will be set for a preliminary hearing in front of another judge; she must decide by her next court date on Thursday, March 10.
    [From Radar]
    So the surveillance tape that Team Crack claimed would VINDICATE Lindsay is somehow the most important evidence against her. Time for a plea, crackhead. And maybe the prosecution should talk to this dude who did the distractin’. I doubt he wants to hitch his wagon to Team Crack.



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    Written by Kaiser the GR plagiarist.
    Last edited by Novice; February 24th, 2011 at 06:55 PM.
    Free Charmed.

  6. #606
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Well, at least they admit to plagiarizing, LMAO.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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  7. #607
    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    Parting is such sweet sorrow.
    Life is short. Break the Rules. Forgive Quickly. Kiss Slowly. Love Truly.
    Laugh Uncontrollably. And never regret ANYTHING that makes you smile.

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  8. #608
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greysfang View Post
    Well, at least they admit to plagiarizing, LMAO.
    Except that they didn't. That appears to be a Novice addition.
    As Canadian as possible under the circumstances

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    "What's traitors, precious?" -- President Gollum

  9. #609
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    ORLY? Bitch STILL won't admit I called Zahara Empress Z first.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

  10. #610
    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    Yeah, which part did he plagiarize, Novice?

  11. #611
    Elite Member Novice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy2.0 View Post
    Except that they didn't. That appears to be a Novice addition.
    Maybe I should've made it clearer?

    Quote Originally Posted by greysfang View Post
    ORLY? Bitch STILL won't admit I called Zahara Empress Z first.
    nope, nor will they EVA!

    Quote Originally Posted by Beeyotch View Post
    Yeah, which part did he plagiarize, Novice?
    McJag & her pearls.... I'm waiting for comments on the bouffant hair & pearl-handled gun... They're SO not original that as soon as I read it I knew where it had come from.
    Free Charmed.

  12. #612
    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    In the U.S. "clutching one's pearls" is actually a common phrase to signify uptight conservative shock/anxiety. I mean, the guy may have plagiarized other things, but that phrase didn't originate with our dear McJag. Her pearl-handled revolver is coincidental.

  13. #613
    Elite Member Trixie's Avatar
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    ^^ Have to agree with ya. I think McJag would admit she didn't coin the phrase.

    Urban Dictionary: Clutching My Pearls

    1. Clutching My Pearls

    a moment in time that forces one to clasp their hand to their chest, out of fear or shock, as if trying to protect an imaginary pearl necklace. A new phrase among the gay Maryland circle

    When I saw Taylor at the park with Noah, I was totally clutching pearls!

    Man, when I heard that John was in that car accident I was totally Clutching My Pearls

    Girl, when that truck full of skinheads pulled up next to the car I had to clutch my pearls!
    These people don't give a fuck about YOU or us. It's a message board, for Christ's sake. ~ mrs.v ~
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  14. #614
    Elite Member Novice's Avatar
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    Ok, fair enough, I've only ever heard it here.
    Free Charmed.

  15. #615
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    It's been around the gay scene forever

    "Oh lord, she's clutching her pearls."
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

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