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Thread: Kleptoskank Lindsay Lohan Nicks Bling, Evades Jail, Blames Black Kids Everywhere

  1. #4186
    Elite Member Waterslide's Avatar
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    Saturday, April 13th 2013
    Lindsay Lohan And Adderall Shall Never Be Parted




    Lindsay Lohan is currently living out the best decision of her life (served in a bong made of sarcasm) by trolling around the current Ecstasy capital of the world Coachella and in a few weeks she'll have to shuffle her ass into court-ordered rehab in the Hamptons. Because LiLo can never make anything easy and can't breathe unless she's sticking a thorn into somebody's ass lips, she's going to give the rehab staff a hard time as soon as she walks through the door.
    TMZ says that LiLo was under the impression that she can keep downing Adderall while in rehab, but that isn't the case. LiLo claims she has ADHD (in LiLo's case that stands for attention-loving delusional ho disorder) and has to take Adderall at all times. But TMZ is hearing that Seafield Center isn't going to allow it and will make her turn in all of her Adderall when she checks in. Some source says that the Seafield Center allows their patients to take meds prescribed by a doctor, but they're forever side-eyeing Adderall. They're apparently going to try to wean LiLo off of Adderall by giving her a substitute that's less addictive. LiLo is telling her friends that if they try to rip her Adderall from her cold, freckled, demon claws, she'll quit that bitch in a second. And if she quits that bitch in a second, off to jail she goes!

    Oh, please, they're not going to take away her Adderall. This is LiLo we're talking about. Bitch rules the world. When she checks in, the staff will softly ask her, "Um, your HIGHness, do you think that we can take your, um, Add-" She'll spit out "NO!" they'll say "OK!" and they'll give her all the Adderall she wants. They'll put an Adderall on her pillow during turn down service every night and they'll constantly fill the mint bowl in her room with Adderall. LiLo will start selling Adderall to the other patients and staff, and by the time she's out of there, everyone in there will be hooked on that shit! The makers of Adderall should really make that bitch a majority shareholder, because ho is keeping them in business.

    Posted by: Michael K
    111 comments

    Lindsay LohanMESS!



    "attention-loving delusional ho disorder"
    Callalily and yowzers like this.
    "AND WHEN YOU BECAME DENISE, I TOLD ALL YOUR COLLEAGUES, THOSE CLOWN COMICS, TO FIX THEIR HEARTS OR DIE."

  2. #4187
    Silver Member yowzers's Avatar
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    I don't get these celebs claiming they can't give up their beloved Adderall, (well okay I do get it, they're druggies) but from what I've read of the symptoms of ADHD, it doesn't actually cause the sufferer any pain and you can live without the meds, you just can't always focus your attention on demanding tasks?

    It's not like they're asking her to give up insulin or anything, it seems utterly bizarre for me that rehabs would continue to let their patients use adderall when hey, they're patients because they are ADDICTED TO DRUGS and you know LIE about how they are in fact ADDICTED TO DRUGS.
    Syd likes this.

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  4. #4189
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waterslide View Post
    My heart usually just melts when I see such a devoted boy kissing his granny after singing "happy 78 birthday" to her

    If I'm not a good example then I have to be a horrible warning

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    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chilly Willy View Post
    I forgot how charming she can be when she's lucid.
    If by that you mean cackling and croaking like an old woman and covering her face after every comment.
    Lenny likes this.

  6. #4191
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nothing'sForgotten View Post
    My heart usually just melts when I see such a devoted boy kissing his granny after singing "happy 78 birthday" to her
    Well, considering they both look 78 in the picture...............

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    Elite Member stef's Avatar
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    i wonder what's grosser, kissing lindsay or being kissed by charlie. it's a tough one.
    sprynkles, greysfang and Sunrider like this.
    "This is not meant to be at all offensive: You suffer from diarrhea of the mouth but constipation of the brain." - McJag

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    Elite Member SHELLEE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stef View Post
    i wonder what's grosser, kissing lindsay or being kissed by charlie. it's a tough one.
    Ewwwwwww. That is a tough one.
    See, Whores, we are good for something. Love, Florida
    #fingersinthebootyassbitch

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    Silver Member BrickHouse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stef View Post
    i wonder what's grosser, kissing lindsay or being kissed by charlie. it's a tough one.
    It's like one of those "Would You Rather" questions that ends the game because no one will choose either option.

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    Elite Member InigoMontoya's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anaconda View Post
    This never fails to make me laugh out loud.

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    Gold Member Stereo Inferno's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrickHouse View Post
    It's like one of those "Would You Rather" questions that ends the game because no one will choose either option.
    Or this...

    sluce and BrickHouse like this.
    [On Terry Richardson] "Dude is like a human version of a white, windowless van...." ~ Michael K.

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  13. #4198
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    Quote Originally Posted by stef View Post
    i wonder what's grosser, kissing lindsay or being kissed by charlie. it's a tough one.

    Definitely kissing Lindsay! To me Charlie is only gross on the inside, Lindsay is gross on both inside and outside. Your lips are probably all greasy and orange when you kiss her.
    Honeythorn and OrangeSlice like this.

  14. #4199
    Silver Member BrickHouse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lenny View Post
    Definitely kissing Lindsay! To me Charlie is only gross on the inside, Lindsay is gross on both inside and outside. Your lips are probably all greasy and orange when you kiss her.
    Yeah, but he's got that rotten-mouth-missing-teeth thing going on. So nasty.

  15. #4200
    Elite Member OrangeSlice's Avatar
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    They've both probably got herpes on their mouth.
    "Schadenfreude, hard to spell, easy to feel." ~VenusinFauxFurs

    "Scoffing is one of my main hobbies!" ~Trixie

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