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Thread: Kleptoskank Lindsay Lohan Nicks Bling, Evades Jail, Blames Black Kids Everywhere

  1. #4006
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    and who COINCIDENTALLY flew in on Mr Pink's private jet! shut up bitch, we KNOW it was you. od already!
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    Kill him.
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    Kill everything... that IS the solution!
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    twitchy molests my signature!

  2. #4007
    Elite Member gas_chick's Avatar
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    She looks better in the mug shot than she did in court.
    I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."

  3. #4008
    Elite Member dksnj's Avatar
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    Lindsay Lohan
    NY 'Lockdown Rehab' Sentence
    NO SUCH THING!


    Exclusive

    Now we know why Lindsay Lohan was so nonchalant when she was sentenced to 90 days in a "lockdown" rehab facility -- It doesn't exist in New York ... and it's possible Lindsay could now go to JAIL as a result.

    We've done some digging, contacting numerous rehab facilities in NY, and we're getting the same story from EVERYONE -- rehab facilities do NOT force patients to stay. In fact, an official from the New York State agency that regulates rehab facilities tells us lockdown rehab does not exist in NY.

    None of the facilities have guards that block access out.

    As for Lindsay ... she has a history of leaving rehab, even if the program requires her to stay inside. Two cases in point -- sources say Lindsay frequently snuck out of Cirque Lodge in Utah. And, of course, there's Betty Ford, where Lindsay allegedly got into a physical fight with an attendant who was about to blow the whistle on her for sneaking out.

    Law enforcement sources connected with Lindsay's lying-to-cops case tell TMZ ... prosecutors offered the plea deal based on the representation of Lindsay's lawyer, Mark Heller, that New York had lockdown rehab facilities.

    After we placed calls today ... we're told prosecutors are now checking to see if Heller's representation was false. One well-placed source said this: "The sentence was actually 90 days in custody, and lockdown rehab would satisfy that. If there's no such thing, then she'll go to jail for 90 days."

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    Vera Donovan: (Dolores Claiborne) : Sometimes you have to be a high-riding bitch to survive. Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto.

  4. #4009
    Elite Member Bluebonnet's Avatar
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    Face it: she is never gonna go to jail or rehab. She's going to the cemetery. That's where she's headed short of her having, what we call in the South, a miraculous "come home to Jesus" meeting.

  5. #4010
    Gold Member Patty Rox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dksnj View Post
    Lindsay Lohan
    NY 'Lockdown Rehab' Sentence
    NO SUCH THING!


    Exclusive

    Now we know why Lindsay Lohan was so nonchalant when she was sentenced to 90 days in a "lockdown" rehab facility -- It doesn't exist in New York ... and it's possible Lindsay could now go to JAIL as a result.

    We've done some digging, contacting numerous rehab facilities in NY, and we're getting the same story from EVERYONE -- rehab facilities do NOT force patients to stay. In fact, an official from the New York State agency that regulates rehab facilities tells us lockdown rehab does not exist in NY.

    None of the facilities have guards that block access out.

    As for Lindsay ... she has a history of leaving rehab, even if the program requires her to stay inside. Two cases in point -- sources say Lindsay frequently snuck out of Cirque Lodge in Utah. And, of course, there's Betty Ford, where Lindsay allegedly got into a physical fight with an attendant who was about to blow the whistle on her for sneaking out.

    Law enforcement sources connected with Lindsay's lying-to-cops case tell TMZ ... prosecutors offered the plea deal based on the representation of Lindsay's lawyer, Mark Heller, that New York had lockdown rehab facilities.

    After we placed calls today ... we're told prosecutors are now checking to see if Heller's representation was false. One well-placed source said this: "The sentence was actually 90 days in custody, and lockdown rehab would satisfy that. If there's no such thing, then she'll go to jail for 90 days."

    Read more: Celebrity Gossip | Entertainment News | Celebrity News | TMZ.com
    Visit the TMZ Store: TMZ T-Shirts, Tees, Mugs, Hats, Cups, Tank Tops | TMZ Store
    I wonder why this story was pulled....

  6. #4011
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    Any rehab can be "lock down." They just need to comply with the orders of the court and advise the court if she breaks the rules.
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  7. #4012
    Elite Member badgers!'s Avatar
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    She looks better in her mugshot than she's looked in awhile. Not that that's saying much.

  8. #4013
    Elite Member MmeVertigina's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Novice View Post
    LINDSAY LOHAN



    The officer picked up the bottle and noticed the water was amber colored. He smelled the liquid and says "it was an alcoholic beverage, possibly wine."


    Amber colored wine?

  9. #4014
    Elite Member faithanne's Avatar
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    Maybe he thought it was more polite than saying piss coloured.
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  10. #4015
    Elite Member MmeVertigina's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by faithanne View Post
    Maybe he thought it was more polite than saying piss coloured.
    Unless it was watered down reddish-colored wine, I don't know what type of wine is amber colored. Sounds like hard liquor to me. But I am no wine expert.

  11. #4016
    Elite Member dksnj's Avatar
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    Vera Donovan: (Dolores Claiborne) : Sometimes you have to be a high-riding bitch to survive. Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto.

  12. #4017
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MmeVertigina View Post
    Amber colored wine?
    I have seen several that do look amber. Vin Santo looks amber. It's too sweet for me but it comes out at the holidays, like Easter, with the Italian relatives because it is from the region we are from and it's known as holy wine.
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  13. #4018
    Bronze Member WesCAddle's Avatar
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    My neighbors an alcoholic and constantly walks around with a blue Gatorade bottle filled with blueberry vodka - yech - thinking no one knows when you can smell it a mile away. These people are so sick and deluded they think no one can tell they're drinking. Sad because she just got out of the hospital for pancreatitis. Surprised LaHohan's body isn't giving out on her.
    as privileged as a whore...victims in demand for public show, swept out through the cracks beneath the door, holier than thou, how?

  14. #4019
    Elite Member badgers!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WesCAddle View Post
    My neighbors an alcoholic and constantly walks around with a blue Gatorade bottle filled with blueberry vodka - yech - thinking no one knows when you can smell it a mile away. These people are so sick and deluded they think no one can tell they're drinking. Sad because she just got out of the hospital for pancreatitis. Surprised LaHohan's body isn't giving out on her.
    We have the same neighbor? My old neighbor was an alcoholic and thought no one knew. She'd start drinking as soon as she woke up. It was to the point where the alcohol smell was coming out of her pores and I couldn't stand to be around her because the stench would make me gag. What was scary was that she'd get so drunk that she'd stumble on her way out to her car...and then she'd drive away. I made an anonymous call once or twice because I was scared she was going to kill someone but the cops blew me off. It was really sad.
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  15. #4020
    Gold Member Stereo Inferno's Avatar
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    AHAAAA!!!!

    Lindsay Lohan: Why She’s Sticking With Her Questionable Lawyer


    By Kathleen Perricone | omg! – 21 hours ago




    Lindsay Lohan has no plans to fire her lawyer any time soon … and now we know why.
    It turns out that the bumbling Mark Jay Heller – whose "competency" has been questioned, even so far as to compare him to Joe Pesci's character in "My Cousin Vinny" – is the father of the man responsible for keeping Lohan's bank account in the black, party promoter-turned-entrepreneur, Michael Heller.
    In fact, it is the younger Heller who hooked Lohan up with a job promoting energy drink Mr. Pink, the same company which chartered that $50,000 private jet for the actress to travel from New York City to Los Angeles last-minute for her trial on Monday. He also reportedly introduced her to now-ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson.
    "Mike books gigs for Lindsay and they've known each other for a long time," an insider toldFOX411's Pop Tarts column. "She's not likely to part ways with his father anytime soon because of her strong ties to his son. Without brand promotion, Lindsay would be in a lot deeper financial trouble." (Mike Heller did not immediately respond to omg!'s request for comment.)
    Despite reports of Lohan being unhappy with her lawyer's work in the courtroom – and her telling him to "shut up" in front of the judge on Monday – Michael Heller insists she is content.
    "She is extremely happy with him and never gave up on him no matter what the media twisted and said about my father,” he tells Pop Tarts. “She trusted him and now is happy she listened to her gut instinct because he got her a way, way better deal than she was originally being offered … at the end of the day it’s about the results and my dad got them."

    His father has also inspired a new Internet parody. Artist Daniel Pianetti turned a photo of Lohan, Heller, and Heller's ever-present Louis Vuitton briefcase – the one with a lucky rabbit's foot dangling from its handle – into an "ad" for the luxe label. Buzzfeed took the joke a step further and tweaked Pianetti's work to resemble LV's "Journeys" campaign. "Some journeys have no end," reads the tagline. "Los Angeles. 9:45 a.m. LAX Courthouse." (Technically, at that time, Lohan and Heller were still in the judge's chambers hashing out her 90-day rehab plea deal, not sitting in the courtroom, but we'll give them an A for effort.)
    Lohan's reported beau, Avi Snow. (Twitter)
    Despite the impending "lock down" rehab, Lohan has some positivity in her life: a new boyfriend. According to E! Online, the 26-year-old has been dating NYC club promoter and musician Avi Snow the past few weeks. In fact, she missed her original flight to L.A. last weekend because she went to see his band, City of the Sun, perform in Manhattan. She also was spotted at the band's Santa Monica show on Tuesday, just hours after she posed for her sixth mug shot.



    Can their fledgling romance survive a 90-day separation? Lohan has until May 2 to report to rehab, but the sooner would probably be the better. Her 27th birthday is on July 2, which means she needs to go into treatment by the end of this month in order to be able to celebrate it with friends and family and not alone in "lock down" rehab.
    Or perhaps it's better that she's not tempted to toast the occasion with a drink.
    She's turned into an insane caricature of herself and hired an extra from The Hobbit...
    [On Terry Richardson] "Dude is like a human version of a white, windowless van...." ~ Michael K.

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