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Thread: Kleptoskank Lindsay Lohan Nicks Bling, Evades Jail, Blames Black Kids Everywhere

  1. #3706
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    Did you all feel he earth shaking a little? That was Shawn Holley laughing.

    I'm going to tweet at Lindsay; Great job in court today. You get what you pay for. That's right - you don't pay for anything.
    dksnj, badgers!, sprynkles and 7 others like this.
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  2. #3707
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    If Lindsay is becoming an inspirational speaker, I am thinking she could do better by herself!

  3. #3708
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    • Now Lindsay Lohan's 'incompetent' lawyer claims star had concussion after car crash... but only bruised ribs were recorded





    • Judge James Dabney is 'concerned' that New York lawyer Mark Heller isn't prepared to represent her
    • Lindsay - who was present at pre-trial - either has to get another lawyer or she has to come into court and waive her right to a competent California lawyer
    • He vehemently blocks Heller's attempt to put back trial from March 18 to April 1
    • 'In the interest of justice, my client needs that time,' Heller maintained



    By Amelia Proud
    PUBLISHED: 01:08, 2 March 2013 | UPDATED: 01:08, 2 March 2013







    • Lindsay Lohan‘s New York lawyer, who was criticised in court this morning for being incompetent, called a press conference after the pre-trial to claim that the star should never have been questioned by police after the June car crash in question... because she had concussion.


    But according to Radar Online, her medical records show she didn’t suffer any injury to her head.
    'The doctors who treated Lindsay on the day of her car accident last summer didn’t diagnose her with a concussion. She suffered no injury to her head whatsoever,' a law enforcement source told the website.


    What's he cooking up now? Lindsay Lohan's lawyer Mark Heller claimed that his client was forced to answer questions with concussion after a woeful performance at pre-trial on Friday


    But Heller said: 'My client suffered a concussion, and never should have been questioned by the police. She was basically held against her will and forced to answer questions.'

    'Give her leeway to show that she's worthy of compassion,' Heller pleaded with Judge James Dabney on Friday morning as part of his disastrous bid to get Lohan's latest criminal case thrown out.

    The New York based lawyer even played the victim card, telling Judge James Dabney that 'there seems to be some doubt as to whether Lohan is entitled to some mercy because of her history with this department.'
    But the judge wasn't buying it, and he steadfastly refused to allow Heller to persuade him to move the trial date from March 18 to April 1.


    Claims: After the judge gave him short shrift, Heller called a press conference to make the concussion claim



    Unsuitable? Judge Dabney told Lindsay Lohan's lawyer that he was not versed sufficiently in California law to represent her properly at trial as he threw his attempts to have lying to police claims thrown out during this morning's pre-trial hearing


    Noting that it was also April Fools' Day, Dabney pointed out that April 1st is a court holiday and said he saw no merit in postponing the reckoning.

    He also questioned Heller's suitability to represent Lohan, 26, as it seemed to the judge as though the lawyer - who admitted he'd practised in New York for 44 years - wasn't completely versed in California law.

    Heller began by questioning 'particulars', in short - he wanted to know where certain statements attributed by Lohan were made after the the June crash relating to the lying allegations.

    Did Lohan - who is accused of lying to cover up the fact that she was driving recklessly - make her statement at the scene, or at hospital or to police at a later date?

    Slammed: Heller obviously feels strongly about helping Lindsay but his preparation and suitability was questioned by the judge in court on Friday


    The judge told Heller that he saw no need to discuss these details until trial, and added emphatically that this was all in accordance with California law.

    He added that Heller had not prepared adequately given his lack of competence in California law, which meant prosecutor Terry White's trial date remained in place.

    He told Heller his concerns about police not reading Lindsay her Miranda rights were of no concern, either, as Lindsay's fourth amendment rights had not been violated.

    Dabney also emphasized to Heller that he needs to take local guidance before trial and that Lindsay will suffer if she doesn't have a legal team who fully understand California law.

    Her father Michael was, as always, quick to comment on the matter to TMZ, he said: 'This guy is a loser and will drag her down.
    'I already started to pray to God that Lindsay fires him before it's too late,' he added before explaining he has another lawyer lined up.

    Back at court: Lindsay Lohan appears at a hearing with her attorney Mark Heller on January 30, 2013


    Lohan was on probation at the time of the accident and she faces jail time if a judge determines she violated her sentence in a 2011 theft case.

    It has been reported that prosecutors offered her a 'no jail' deal if she agreed to return to rehab, but she rejected it.
    According to TMZ, the Mean Girls star does not believe she has a substance abuse problem that warrants the condition and is risking instead to take the case to trial.
    The website reports that Heller had a telephone conference with prosecutors on Wednesday to discuss the terms of the bargain.

    Prosecutors were apparently asking for 'a significant amount of time in a residential rehab facility'.

    Earlier reports suggested the plea bargain stipulates she must enroll in rehab for at least 60 days, attend AA meetings and undertake community service.
    Heller reportedly did not accept the offer, although the insider says 'negotiations are ongoing'.

    Lohan is said to be against the idea of going back to rehab entirely, looking at the condition as 'punishment for something I didn't do'.


    Facing the music: Heller's pleas for 'compassion' and 'mercy' fell on deaf ears and Lindsay will face trial on March 18



    Details of the apparent deal surfaced after the New York-based attorney sent an emotional letter pleading with prosecutors to help the 'deeply broken' actress.

    Heller reveals that Lindsay is undergoing extensive psychiatric therapy and is struggling to overcome a history of family issues, and urges Santa Monica and Los Angeles City Attorneys Terry White and Spencer Hart to join forces with him to become the team that 'fix' the actress.

    Sent on February 4 and obtained by TMZ, the letter was also sent to the judge presiding over the case.

    Heller, who came onto the case after Lohan fired her long-term attorney, Shawn Holley, earlier this year, wrote the prosecutors need to understand that his client's problems are even deeper than what is publicly known.


    On her way: Lindsay Lohan and her mother Dina head to the car crash case pre-trial hearing on January 30


    'I have known Lindsay for many years and have witnessed the dynamics of her family and her experiences that are not known to general public, and which have deeply impacted her and resulted in certain events in her life that has bought her before the Court and derivatively to your attention and professional assessment,' he is quoted.

    'Yet, as I noted at our meeting these prior events and their portrayal in the media, regrettably always results in distortion, creating a very negative public persona without consideration of what happened in Lindsay's life that bought her to that place and without considering the pain, torment and confusion which Lindsay has experienced and been affected with.'

    The lawyer promises, alongside Lindsay's psychotherapist, to reveal just how bad things have become for the Parent Trap actress as he says that without knowing, the prosecutors are 'handicapped because how could you propose to fix something without knowning just how broken it was'.

    'The only way we as a "team" are going to formulate a solution is for Lindsay, her Psychotherapist and I provide a true window revealing the real problems we must solve,' the letter reportedly continues.


    Family drama: Lohan's lawyer has apparently pleaded with prosecutors to join him in helping to 'fix' the actress in light of her personal issues, stemming from her relationships with father Michael Lohan, left, and Dina Lohan, right


    Heller appeals to the prosecutors to consider alternatives to Lohan's previous sentences - including a lengthy probation in 2011 for stealing a necklace, which is now in jeopardy in light of the new criminal charges.

    'Which is why I appeal to your good conscience to join me in not rubber stamping this case but rather to be patient and understanding and open to productive alternatives as we, as a team, help fix Lindsay Lohan,' the letter continues.

    The case is not Lohan's only legal worry.

    The actress earlier this week was fined $1000 for failing to make herself available in a civil case deposition, RadarOnline reported.

    Lohan was repetitively requested to attend a deposition in the civil case bought by photographer Grigor Baylan, who filed the civil lawsuit claiming he was injured when a car that the actress was riding in hit him in 2010.

    The actress claimed to be out of state but was in California for her criminal cases pre-trial, according to the website.
    She could face a reported 245 days in jail if she is found guilty in the criminal case.

    A spokesman for Lohan has not yet responded to MailOnline's request for comment.







    Read more: Now Lindsay Lohan's 'incompetent' lawyer claims star had concussion after car crash... but only bruised ribs were recorded | Mail Online

  4. #3709
    Elite Member Flygirl's Avatar
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    "this guy is a loser who will drag her down". Really, Michael? Really? There's not really anywhere below rock bottom, and please, as long as you are alive, do not refer to another man as a loser. There's a pot kettle gif somewhere I'm sure.
    shedevilang likes this.

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    Unless this guy really has an ace in the hole, I'd grade his performance as a "F". Piss off the judge, be completely ignorant of the State's pre-trial and discovery procedures, fail to review the police reports, witness statements and logs AND fail to check the calendar. All around, FAIL.

    I know! Blohan will appeal any conviction based on ineffective assistance of counsel!

  6. #3711
    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    oh i hope that this Fail train continues to move on. I love it.
    Basic rule of Gossip Rocks: Don't be a dick.Tati
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  7. #3712
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    According to an article in the New York Times in May 2010, “He has been disparaged and roundly dressed down by clients and judges alike, called a ‘menace to the public,’ ‘shockingly cavalier and abusive’ and rife with ‘puffery’ by a disciplinary panel that recommended his five-year suspension in the mid-1990s.

    Who'd have guessed?

  8. #3713
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    That Louis Vuitton bag with the rabbit's foot is hysterical (SNL writers MUST use that detail, perhaps with a whole dead rabbit attached.) Notice that Heller holds it under his arm to get it in every photo possible, so folks know he has a klassy bag!

    This case is going to be so much fun to watch. Who cares of Lohan gets jail or rehab (won't make a bit of difference.) This is going to be gold.
    CHILLY FREE!
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  9. #3714
    Elite Member NickiDrea's Avatar
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    I don't think you can legally waive your right to competent counsel. That wouldn't cut it in my state at least.

  10. #3715
    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    Absolutely you can waive the right to appeal on the grounds incompetent counsel. If you are advised that your counsel is not cutting it and that if you decide to proceed with that attorney it's at your own risk, the judge can for sure require that waiver in order to move forward - particularly with an attorney who is not even licensed to practice in the jurisdiction and can't even manage to get a sponsoring licensed attorney who is a practicing attorney.
    shedevilang likes this.
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  11. #3716
    Elite Member faithanne's Avatar
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    Apart from all his other fuckery, the lawyer's letter is just so much WTF? He seems to think the role of the courts is to sit around holding hands figuring out how to help people rather than punishing criminals.
    "You're going to die tomorrow, Lord Bolton. Sleep well."



  12. #3717
    Elite Member Waterslide's Avatar
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    This man is the definition of hawt.
    Karistiona likes this.
    "AND WHEN YOU BECAME DENISE, I TOLD ALL YOUR COLLEAGUES, THOSE CLOWN COMICS, TO FIX THEIR HEARTS OR DIE."

  13. #3718
    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    ^^and I'm posing, and posing and now I'm looking like a serious lawyer, and posing and here's the money shot (shit, I forgot my totally fetch LV attache)...REDO, he Mr Pap guy, let's start over
    If i hear one more personal attack, i will type while drunk, then you can cry! - Bugdoll
    (716): I'd call her a cunt, but she doesn't seem to have the depth or warmth
    Quote Originally Posted by shedevilang View Post
    (Replying to MontanaMama) This is some of the smartest shit I ever read

  14. #3719
    Elite Member MmeVertigina's Avatar
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    Oh man, she looks really bad. Her eyes, wow, she looks awful. Her lawyer looks all sorts of douchey with that LV briefcase.

  15. #3720
    Elite Member NickiDrea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MontanaMama View Post
    Absolutely you can waive the right to appeal on the grounds incompetent counsel. If you are advised that your counsel is not cutting it and that if you decide to proceed with that attorney it's at your own risk, the judge can for sure require that waiver in order to move forward - particularly with an attorney who is not even licensed to practice in the jurisdiction and can't even manage to get a sponsoring licensed attorney who is a practicing attorney.
    I may have misspoken. In my state, you can always choose to go forward with trial if your counsel is incompetent, but you would still be able to get a de novo trial via the Post-Conviction Relief Act. That is essentially the equivalent of not being able to waive the right to competent counsel. We were trained hard on that issue when I started out because of my office's paranoia about PCRAs. There is some bad caselaw on the issue of waiver, but the prevailing opinion here is that you can't waive the right to competent representation.

    All states are different so I can't speak to Cali's laws.

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