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Thread: Kleptoskank Lindsay Lohan Nicks Bling, Evades Jail, Blames Black Kids Everywhere

  1. #3646
    Elite Member Bombshell's Avatar
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    Froms Grey's lips to God's ears...
    PrincessMoFo likes this.
    "Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at the bowling alley."

  2. #3647
    Elite Member JadeStar70's Avatar
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    I sure hope so!!!

  3. #3648
    Bronze Member Glassberry's Avatar
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    She truly didn't 'steal' the necklace. She 'liberated' it'.

  4. #3649
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    Lindsay Lohan
    Dismiss My Criminal Case
    I Wasn't Mirandized!

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    Lindsay Lohan's new lawyer has filed a motion seeking dismissal of Lindsay's lying-to-cops case on grounds she wasn't read her Miranda rights but he's WAY off base.

    Attorney Mark Heller isn't getting started off on the right foot. First of all, there was NO need to Mirandize Lindsay since she was not in custody and it's perfectly legal to question people involved in a car accident without reading them their rights. Lindsay's problem is that she lied when she said she wasn't driving the Porsche that crashed last June on Pacific Coast Highway.

    Sources connected to the case tell us Heller made some huge mistakes in filing the docs -- maybe the biggest was that he attached a letter to the prosecutor touting Lindsay -- he's not supposed to try and influence judges outside of court so it's a huge no-no. We're told the letter has been purged from his legal docs.

    Heller calls his papers a "Bill of Particulars" -- bizarre and almost unheard of in California courts -- which include a motion to suppress evidence, a motion to continue the case and a motion to dismiss charges.

    Read more: Lindsay Lohan Moves to Dismiss Lying-to-Cops Case -- I Wasn't Mirandized | TMZ.com
    Visit the TMZ Store: TMZ T-Shirts, Tees, Mugs, Hats, Cups, Tank Tops | TMZ Store

    You can almost hear the echoing sound of Shawn Holley's laughter.
    sluce and Callalily like this.

  5. #3650
    Elite Member SHELLEE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by annabel View Post
    Heller calls his papers a "Bill of Particulars" -- bizarre and almost unheard of in California courts -- which include a motion to suppress evidence, a motion to continue the case and a motion to dismiss charges.

    You can almost hear the echoing sound of Shawn Holley's laughter.
    Meh, these are typical filings by defense attorney's in criminal cases.
    See, Whores, we are good for something. Love, Florida
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  6. #3651
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Um, if she wasn't arrested at the scene, or even later, there was no need to Mirandize her. Dude is a fucking quack.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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  7. #3652
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    Oh I can't wait to see more of this guy in court. There is a reason why his license to practice law in NY was suspended for 5 years for misconduct. He had many clients file complaints for:

    Lindsay Lohan’s New Attorney Had Law License Suspended For 5 Years, Professional Misconduct | Radar Online
    According to court documents, there was “a pattern of misconduct involving misrepresentation, deceit, abusive treatment of clients, fee gouging, neglect and willful failure to return unearned retainers to his clients.”

    Mark’s violations involved 12 separate clients and he was found guilty of 18 violations in total.

    I guess Lilo feels more comfortable with Mark since he is just like her family.
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  8. #3653
    Elite Member OrangeSlice's Avatar
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    Damn. That's pretty bad.
    "Schadenfreude, hard to spell, easy to feel." ~VenusinFauxFurs

    "Scoffing is one of my main hobbies!" ~Trixie

  9. #3654
    Bronze Member chickygirl's Avatar
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    Charlie to the rescue...again. Love The AV Club's snarky tone in this news item.

    Lindsay Lohan to play herself on Charlie Sheen's Anger Management, which is funny because she actually has problems



    By Sean O'Neal February 25, 2013
    Sensing that Anger Management was in danger of having its therapeutic importance overshadowed by sitcom frivolity, Charlie Sheen has booked Lindsay Lohan as his next pretend-patient, providing her with the same radical faux-rehabilitation treatment he’s engineered for himself, where you don’t have to change anything about yourself and you get paid for lightly mocking your very real problems. Lohan will guest star in an episode of the FX comedy as herself, a role that ensures there will be no confusion when jokes are made regarding Sheen’s character, “Charlie,” providing aid to Lindsay Lohan’s character, “Lindsay Lohan,” and the two wind up in a romantic relationship similar to their upcoming dalliance in Scary Movie 5—the joke in both cases being that their ruinous private lives have made it impossible for them to do any actual acting ever again. The announcement also comes not long after Sheen made a more overt gesture of charity by cutting Lohan a $100,000 check for her tax debts, giving Lohan’s cameo the extra-funny kick of it also being the dutiful repayment of a loan.

    Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress.
    - Liz Smith

  10. #3655
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    So Lilo has become a Goddess as defined in the Sheen dictionary.
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  11. #3656
    Silver Member Jana's Avatar
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    ^ her lips are plumped and ready for the Warlock

  12. #3657
    Elite Member Fly_On_TheWall's Avatar
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    She is so going to sue Hellers ass when this is all over.
    rollo likes this.

  13. #3658
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    her attorney sounds like a real winner - this is gonna be great.
    "This is not meant to be at all offensive: You suffer from diarrhea of the mouth but constipation of the brain." - McJag

  14. #3659
    Elite Member NVash's Avatar
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    Charlie Sheen again?! Is the Vatican Warlock Assassin sleeping with her or something?!

  15. #3660
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fly_On_TheWall View Post
    She is so going to sue Hellers ass when this is all over.
    They are undoubtedly going to be suing each other!

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