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Thread: Kleptoskank Lindsay Lohan Nicks Bling, Evades Jail, Blames Black Kids Everywhere

  1. #3091
    Gold Member Stereo Inferno's Avatar
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    Lindsay Lohan for hire for weddings and Bat Mitzvahs? | CTV News


    Lindsay Lohan for hire for weddings and Bat Mitzvahs?

    Read more: Lindsay Lohan for hire for weddings and Bat Mitzvahs? | CTV News

    BANG Showbiz Published Saturday, Dec. 15, 2012 9:48AM EST




    Lindsay Lohan is allegedly available as a celebrity guest for weddings and Bat Mitzvahs.

    A talent agency claiming to represent the 'Liz & Dick' star has sent out an emailing claiming Lindsay, 26, can be hired to attend special occasions.

    The email from 123Talent and sent to the New York Post's Page Six, reads: "Book One of Hollywood's Biggest Movie Stars Lindsay Lohan Now!

    "Not only is Lindsay an Actress but she is also a Fashion Designer, Model and Recording Artist (sic)."

    It was recently revealed a strip club offered to pay the $16,000 Lindsay owes to a storage company and reunite her with her prized possessions - which will be sold off at auction later this month if she can't come up with the cash - should she agree to man their website ScoresLive.com.

    The role in question is strictly no-nudity, however, as the club want to hire her as their online video chat webmaster.

    Scores has also offered to pay the rent on Lindsay's Beverley Hills mansion for the next couple of months in the hope she'll agree to their deal, according to gossip website TMZ.

    Lindsay - who posed naked for Playboy this year - currently faces losing designer clothes, family heirlooms and "potentially embarrassing" articles stored in her priva




    Read more: Lindsay Lohan for hire for weddings and Bat Mitzvahs? | CTV News
    [On Terry Richardson] "Dude is like a human version of a white, windowless van...." ~ Michael K.

  2. #3092
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    Just what every bride dreams of on that special day: this drunken crackhead making a swan dive onto the cake while trying to shove the shiniest wrapped wedding gifts down the cleavage of her bandage dress and the cake topper up her g-string.

    And I don't think she qualifies for the 27 Club. My understanding is membership requires actual talent.

  3. #3093
    Gold Member Patty Rox's Avatar
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    Lindsay's hooked up with bad people??? Oh please say it isn't so. I always thought Lindsay could do bad all by herself.

  4. #3094
    Silver Member Quat's Avatar
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    I can't wait for this house of cards to finally fall.




  5. #3095
    Elite Member dksnj's Avatar
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    Now she is really grasping at straws - as opposed to putting them to other uses

    Lindsay Lohan to Judge
    My Spiritual Advisor Can Vouch For Me!!!


    EXCLUSIVE

    Lindsay Lohan
    is DESPERATE to avoid jail time ... so much so, she's enlisted the help of her spiritual advisor to make sure that happens.

    Sources close to LiLo tell TMZ ... the actress is asking friends, family and her spiritual guru (yup, some people have those) to write letters on her behalf to the judge hearing her case. Lindsay believes the letters will help prove jail is not the best option for her.

    TMZ broke the story ... Lindsay is currently facing up to 245 days in the slammer for her recent probation violation. Or the judge has the option to send her to counseling instead.

    We're told Lindsay is convinced a letter from the spiritual advisor will have the most impact. Specifically because he's been helping her since 2008 -- following her 2nd DUI arrest -- and can vouch for the fact that LiLo has benefited from counseling in the past. When she shows up.

    As we previously reported, Commissioner Jane Godfrey -- who will arraign LiLo -- isn't big on jail regardless and often times chooses counseling over serving time.

    A hearing is scheduled for January 25th.

    Read more: Celebrity Gossip | Entertainment News | Celebrity News | TMZ.com
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    Elite Member Waterslide's Avatar
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    Sources close to LiLo tell TMZ ... the actress is asking friends, family and her spiritual guru (yup, some people have those) to write letters on her behalf to the judge hearing her case. Lindsay believes the letters will help prove jail is not the best option for her.
    Jesus Christ, Lindsay being in jail is the best option for us, who gives a flying fuck what she thinks about it.
    Quat, MmeVertigina and Callalily like this.
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  7. #3097
    Silver Member Quat's Avatar
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    I am still in disbelief over the time she hijacked that vehicle and went on a high speed chase and NOTHING happened to her. They even found cocaine in her pocket. Not my jeans, my ass.
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    Elite Member Bombshell's Avatar
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    I'd love it if those letters came out. "YES, Lindz, I wrote a letter just like you asked." "In news today, Lindsay's spiritual advisor sent a letter to the judge that simply said "Lock this bitch up."."
    "Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at the bowling alley."

  9. #3099
    Elite Member SoCalMarie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dksnj View Post
    Sources close to LiLo tell TMZ ... the actress is asking friends, family and her spiritual guru (yup, some people have those) to write letters on her behalf to the judge hearing her case. Lindsay believes the letters will help prove jail is not the best option for her.
    Wow. ....just.... wow.

    Should have just gone with the ol' "my dog ate my probation guidelines sheet".
    Brookie and gardenwitch like this.

  10. #3100
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    Maybe she should have considered that prior to smacking a "spiritual guru" in a club...
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    Free Charmed.

  11. #3101
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    It's funny how spirits, er I mean the spirits follow her around isn't it?
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  12. #3102
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    Default Lindsay Lohan 'Scary Movie 5': Star Reportedly Clogs Toilet On Set

    As if Lindsay Lohan hasn't already flushed enough of her career down the toilet, the actress reportedly sparked a plumbing nightmare on the set of "Scary Movie 5,"according to the New York Post.

    Lohan clogged the toilet in her trailer, which prompted all the other bathrooms on the movie's Atlanta lot to stop working for two days. A source told Wetpaint Entertainment that "everything got so messy" and took more than two days to clean up, during which time production fell behind schedule.

    "And let's just put it this way: She didn't win over any new fans among her co-stars or the crew," the source said.

    The New York Post's Page Six reports that Lohan flooded her trailer after trashing it and leaving the shower running.

    The star's on-set mayhem comes just a few months after she attempted to back out of the "Scary Movie 5" gig altogether. Lohan reportedly was displeased that her cameo poked fun at her notorious partying reputation. A source told the New York Post that Lohan missed every meeting and phone call associated with the movie, including script reads and wardrobe fittings.

    Multiple sources said Lohan then reportedly tried to break her contract by claiming to have walking pneumonia, but the "Liz and Dick" star's rep denied that was true.
    Lohan's "Scary Movie 5" scene features her in bed with fellow party animal Charlie Sheen, who last month sent her a $100,000 check to help her pay off tax debt.
    Lindsay Lohan 'Scary Movie 5': Star Reportedly Clogs Toilet On Set


  13. #3103
    Elite Member dksnj's Avatar
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    ^^ Probably heard someone coming and tried to flush her drugs

  14. #3104
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    A clogged toilet is fucking news?


    Unless it was Eumenides on the Fourth Floor Lavatory, there's no story here.
    chartreuse likes this.



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  15. #3105
    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    Is there even a real Lindsay Lohan anymore? She's like a caricature of a caricature at this point.
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