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Thread: Kleptoskank Lindsay Lohan Nicks Bling, Evades Jail, Blames Black Kids Everywhere

  1. #1891
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    It's a rental
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  2. #1892
    Elite Member NVash's Avatar
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    Thanks for clearing that up. Let me rephrase that. Who in their right mind would rent out a Porsche to this woman? Guess they learned about that the hard way.
    shedevilang likes this.

  3. #1893
    Elite Member faithanne's Avatar
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    Maybe her Indian billionaire coke buddy/pimpdaddy is leasing it for her.
    "You're going to die tomorrow, Lord Bolton. Sleep well."



  4. #1894
    Elite Member Waterslide's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rollo View Post
    I see Joan Crawford as well. What is wardrobe doing? Can't they at least give her some curves and that world famous bust? She needs to be corseted up at all times and maybe that will make her concentrate on her lines. Speaking lines, that is.
    definitely see Joan Crawford.

    Earlier I posted a picture that was supposed to be Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor, but looked more like somebody's uncle in five cent drag as Lara Flynn Boyle.
    ^thought Lara Flynn Boyle, too.

    Quote Originally Posted by sluce View Post
    This is really bad. But hey, being in a Lifetime movie did wonders for Leann Rimes life. LOL
    Quote Originally Posted by NVash View Post
    She was in a movie or shes living a movie? Id think shes living out one each day but I had to ask.

    This film is going to be a steaming hot mess.
    sluce was talking about LeAnn meeting/hooking up with Eddie while doing some crappy Lifetime movie, which then in turn, was sort of like a daily Lifetime movie.....via twitter. lol
    "AND WHEN YOU BECAME DENISE, I TOLD ALL YOUR COLLEAGUES, THOSE CLOWN COMICS, TO FIX THEIR HEARTS OR DIE."

  5. #1895
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    Quote Originally Posted by rollo View Post
    I see Joan Crawford as well. What is wardrobe doing? Can't they at least give her some curves and that world famous bust? She needs to be corseted up at all times and maybe that will make her concentrate on her lines. Speaking lines, that is.
    Yes. Women in the 50s had curves due to a different body shape and, of course, decent corsetting....

  6. #1896
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    ^ They should have cast Dita Von Teese.
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  7. #1897
    Elite Member NVash's Avatar
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    Monday, June 11th 2012
    Non-Shocking Headline Of The Day: Lindsay Lohan Lied To The Cops




    Lies flow out of Lindsay Lohan's mouth as often as entire bottles of bottom shelf whiskey flows into White Oprah's mouth, so this latest development in the slow motion car crash that is her entire life is about as surprising as the news that I once again almost peed in the bathroom sink this morning, because I was too lazy to lift up the toilet lid. As for why that toilet lid was down to begin with... A lazy-hating ghost is fucking with me, obviously.

    TMZ, who I'm beginning to think has a secret wire stashed in Blohan's top lip, is hearing that when the cops came to the hospital to interview her about crashing her Porsche into that semi-truck, she told them the opposite of the truth. Bitch said that she was a passenger in the car and it was her assistant who was driving. You might be thinking to yourself, "But why would this dumb, stupid, moronic, self-entitled skid mark of mess lie to the cops about that?" Because if you put on a Hazmat-approved mask and pulled her chonies down, you'd find a gold seal on her ass with the words "CERTIFIED PATHOLOGICAL MESS" on it. But if you're going to be a pathological liar, you need to be smart about it, which this ho isn't. LiLo probably figured her assistant would stick with her story, but he didn't. LiLo's assistant ratted her out and told the cops she was the one driving. Well, not only is that dude probably out of a job, but you know LiLo is going to get every drug dealer in L.A. to blacklist him. Dude will never be able to buy a dime bag in that town again! That hurts.

    Witnesses at the scene of the crash tell TMZ that they watched both LiLo and her assistant crawl out of the passenger side of the car after the accident. That means she climbed out of the drivers seat and into the passenger seat. That's the part I don't understand. Why didn't they switch seats if she wanted to make it look like he was the one driving? If LiLo's assistant refused to be an accessory to illegal fuckery, why didn't she just wrap her strong arm lips around his neck and pull him into the drivers seat? I swear, this ho needs to be better at scamming.

    The cops apparently wrote LiLo's lie in their report and that could get her probation yanked away. Giving fraudulent information to a cop is a crime and she could go to jail for doing it.

    If this is true (you know it is) and if LiLo gets into trouble for lying (you know she won't), she'll spend a total of zero seconds in a cell. LiLo will sashay into Lynwood, blow air kisses at her old friends at the VIP check-in counter and take a glamour shot for their celebrity wall of beauty before sashaying back out. The California Justice system is her whore and I'm sure the Lady Justice statue has "Lindsay's Bitch" tattooed on its taint. I think I saw it during a school field trip.

    Posted by: Michael K

    Source: Non-Shocking Headline Of The Day: Lindsay Lohan Lied To The Cops | Dlisted
    Why do they waste our time when they know theyre not going to do a darn thing to stop her?

  8. #1898
    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    The thing she needs to worry about is when the rental car company goes after her, they do not fuck around.
    Seapharris7 likes this.
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    (Replying to MontanaMama) This is some of the smartest shit I ever read

  9. #1899
    Elite Member Chalet's Avatar
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    What do you think they'd do?

  10. #1900
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    Quote Originally Posted by MontanaMama View Post
    The thing she needs to worry about is when the rental car company goes after her, they do not fuck around.
    True, that.

    I rented a car in England last year and went through about 729,923 speed cameras and the only notification I got from Europcar, was telling me they'd taken the cash out of my credit card..

  11. #1901
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    Lindsay Lohan was just cast in another movie! Can you believe it? I can’t. So when I heard about it, I went and did a little bit of research, and as it turns out, this film seems very “experimental”. And by that, I mean it probably won’t even get a distributor, and it will end up finding a home on Cinemax two years from now.
    The backstory: writer Bret Easton Ellis and director Paul Schrader wanted to work together on a film project which Ellis penned called The Canyons. Their goal was to an “LA noir” with a “micro budget” – and filmed completely on digital… oh, and the film’s “release” will be on Netflix, so my immediate reaction about the lack of distribution was right. Anyway, the film managed to get some investors (via Kickstarter). The plot of The Canyons sounds very softcore p0rn:
    The film will follow a small group of Los Angeles twenty-somethings, in a psycho-sexual thriller that will have both crime and redemption elements. As Ellis has suggested, both the male and female leads will have nudity as a requirement, but we’re told it won’t be employed salaciously.
    There is already an open casting call for the five lead roles: Christian, a trust fund kid, power player and major manipulator, who is a film producer that enjoys filming his own three-way sex sessions; Tara, his girlfriend and former model; Ryan, a bartender and young actor who is angling for a role in Christian’s horror movie; Gina, who works for Ryan and is in love with him and is also looking for a role in the horror pic and finally, Lindsay, a former actress turned yoga instructor who is sleeping with Christian, and falling in love with him.
    [Via IndieWire]
    Ellis just tweeted that Lindsay Lohan was cast in the part of “Tara” and p0rn star James Deen was cast as Christian. Apparently, Lindsay auditioned for the part, and in Ellis’s words, “Lindsay nailed it.”Filming begins on July 9, and will only go on for three weeks (digital is faster and cheaper, thus the condensed film shoot).
    So… basically Lindsay has signed on a for softcore p0rn film which has a shoestring budget and minimal plot, and she’s going to have to do a lot of nudity and “acting” and if she makes it three weeks without a cracktastrophe, I’ll eat my hat.http://www.celebitchy.com/233199/lin...exual_la_noir/

    She's now doing films with porn stars.
    greysfang likes this.

  12. #1902
    Elite Member Kat Scorp's Avatar
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    That script reads much less like an "independent" film, and more like a perv with a camera creating fap material. So, perfect for the Cracken.
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  13. #1903
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    *shrugs*

    Doesn't sound like softcore porn to me. Shrader worked on Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, Affliction, The Mosquito Coast, The Last Temptation of Christ. She could do worse.



    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


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  14. #1904
    Silver Member Mrs Fawlty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stereo Inferno View Post
    I wish every contributor of this thread, could watch this film together.
    That would be truly awesome!
    Stereo Inferno likes this.

  15. #1905
    Elite Member Novice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stereo Inferno View Post
    True, that.

    I rented a car in England last year and went through about 729,923 speed cameras and the only notification I got from Europcar, was telling me they'd taken the cash out of my credit card..
    Bwahahaha! They're not painted fluroescent yellow or anything....
    The speeding tickets when to Eurocar as they are the registered owners of the car (we normally get them to our home address ) & from there they do the paperwork to allocate "points" & fines. 3 points and around £60-£80 per speeding offense.
    Stereo Inferno likes this.

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