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Thread: Kleptoskank Lindsay Lohan Nicks Bling, Evades Jail, Blames Black Kids Everywhere

  1. #1726
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Aw shit.

    Tuesday, February 21st 2012
    Lindsay Lohan Will Play Elizabeth Taylor In That Lifetime Movie



    Billy Bush, the Teddy Ruxpin doll who was brought to life by The Blue Fairy, heard from one of his sources (read: WHITE OPRAH!!!) that professional fuck-up and star of TMZ's live court feeds, Lindsay Lohan, has landed the role of Elizabeth Taylor in Lifetime's biopic Elizabeth & Richard: A Love Story. There's a catch, though. Lifetime asked RuPaul to come to their offices and stand in front of LiLo while letting out those magic words: DON'T FUCK IT UP!

    Access Hollywood says that Lifetime will give Blohan the role if she follows the rules of her probation and doesn't snort her way to more trouble. After sixty five million chances, LiLo is finally doing the shit she's supposed to do and if she continues to not fuck up, her probation will end in March. That Lifetime mess is supposed to start filming sometime after that.

    Lifetime movies are the perfect thing to get into when you've got time, no friends and a whole Entenmann's devil's food cake, and those bitches are trying to mess this up by casting Blohan. They are only feeding her addiction to thinking she has a bond with classic movie stars. They're enabling her creepiest addiction of all. I'd rather see Lifetime movie queen Meredith Baxter-Burney as Elizabeth Taylor.

    I don't really see this happening, though. Like LiLo is really going to show up on time. The only way she's going to show up when she's supposed to is if Lifetime builds all of their sets in the bathroom of Chateau Marmont. It's going blow ("Did somebody say blow?" - White Oprah) up somehow. The chances of Elizabeth Taylor's corpse playing Lindsay Lohan in a Lifetime movie are probably greater than LiLo playing La Liz
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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  2. #1727
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    No wai! Are Elizabeth Taylor fans furious about this?

  3. #1728
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    They would be, but they're all dead.



    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


    If I wanted the government in my womb I'd fuck a Senator

  4. #1729
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    Lol

  5. #1730
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by witchcurlgirl View Post
    They would be, but they're all dead.
    LOL. All except Cim (although it's hard to tell!)

  6. #1731
    Elite Member Kat Scorp's Avatar
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    Are facial fillers like botox in that they freeze the face? Because this was Blohan's face one year ago March, and those HD camera's are not going to be kind:





    source: http://www.celebitchy.com/148026/lin...ng_strung_out/


    Quick! somebody find the lens filter, STAT!
    What do we want?
    EVIDENCE BASED SCIENCE
    When do we want it?
    AFTER PEER REVIEW

  7. #1732
    Elite Member Novice's Avatar
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    Dina Lohan To Chat With Dr. Drew
    February 21, 2012 | 5:45am

    Full Size Image
    By Radar Staff **

    Lindsay Lohan's mother Dina sits down with Dr. Drew for an in-depth chat about everything from Lindsay's troubled Hollywood career to Ali's controversial modeling stint and ex-husband Michael's current stay in rehab.

    As we previously reported **, LiLo is slated to host Saturday Night on March 3.

    Lindsay Lohan Will Receive Another Glowing Probation Report, Almost Completed Requirements **

    The interview airs on HLN Tuesday night at 9/8c.
    Free Charmed.

  8. #1733
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    Oh hell. One Fame Whore interviews another Fame Whore. The Dr. Drew of the Loveline days would savage Dina. Now, he'll sign her conditions and soft ball her for ratings.
    CHILLY FREE!
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  9. #1734
    Elite Member Laurent's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by olivia View Post
    Oh hell. One Fame Whore interviews another Fame Whore.
    No shit. Dr. Drew is okay to look at, but his stupid bullshit shows and nonsensical advice kill it.

    Oh, and Lindz's new teeth are starting to look a bit raggedy in that pic up there. Didn't she just get those nasty things power washed a few months back?

  10. #1735
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    Wash, rinse, repeat?

  11. #1736
    Elite Member Kat Scorp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kat Scorp View Post
    Are facial fillers like botox in that they freeze the face? Because this was Blohan's face one year ago March, and those HD camera's are not going to be kind:




    Quick! somebody find the lens filter, STAT!
    Quote Originally Posted by Laurent View Post
    Lindz's new teeth are starting to look a bit raggedy in that pic up there. Didn't she just get those nasty things power washed a few months back?
    What do we want?
    EVIDENCE BASED SCIENCE
    When do we want it?
    AFTER PEER REVIEW

  12. #1737
    Elite Member NVash's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kat Scorp View Post
    And people still find her attractive? People pay her for intercourse? Wow. I dont even know where to start with that.

  13. #1738
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    She's got a lot of sun damage & discolouration here.
    Free Charmed.

  14. #1739
    Elite Member Jezi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NVash View Post
    And people still find her attractive? People pay her for intercourse? Wow. I dont even know where to start with that.
    But she's ~*FAMOUS*~!

    There are probably people who would pay to sleep with her, not because they find her attractive but because she's famous.

  15. #1740
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    her pupils are non existent in those photos..HMMMMM

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