Kleptoskank Lindsay Lohan Nicks Bling, Evades Jail, Blames Black Kids Everywhere

[Novice]

Wednesday, February 15th 2012
Lindsay Lohan And Terry Richardson Are Doing This Again




Lindsay Lohan should probably be at her local H&R Block to ask their asses if they can sort out her tax situation in exchange for a suitcase of stolen joree and a week's worth of sloppy hand jobs, but instead she's posing for Terry Richardson again. Actually, these pictures are outtakes from her photo shoot for Love Magazine, so they're probably a few months old, but they somehow made their way onto the Internet yesterday. Uh huh. That leak smells like a used urinal cake, a barback's bin, a barf burp, peroxide, old sardine juice and cigarette butts, so I'm sure White Oprah leaked this shit to make all of us forget the last photo shoot LiLo did with Uncle Terry.
That last photo shoot looked like scenes from a retirement for crack whores and in this one she actually looks good? Maybe it's because I'm always used to seeing LiLo looking like four layers of hell loosely wrapped around lukewarm tragic, but these aren't that bad. We've all seen worse and the "nothing difficult about this brown" pose is a true work of sophisticated classiness. And I can already hear the "CLOSE YER MOUTH, BITCH" comments, but if your nostril canal was like a maze game, you too would be a permanent mouth breather.



Posted by: Michael K

[greysfang]

I think she looks okay in that first shot. I like the shoes there, the color anyway.

[Stereo Inferno]

I wonder if she did this shoot the same day she did the Playboy one? Her hair and make-up are identical and hell, there's no way she could apply her make up like that herself. She prefers the corpse look.



Goddamn, 2 inches closer and her acrylic hair would explode like fireworks.

[fattymatty]

I think she looks okay in that first shot. I like the shoes there, the color anyway.

His pics are better than the playboy pics.

[nancydrew]

As long as we don't have to see pics of them fucking, I could care less

[Lenny]

This is old news and I don't know if there is any credibilty to the author but it was an entertaining read about Lindsay, so I thought I would share.


Lindsay Lohan is spoilt, ugly inside and just plain bad, says friend

Read Jasmine Lennard's disturbingly truthful verdict on Li-Lo


Lindsay Lohan (pic: Splash)


The first time I met Lindsay Lohan, she took me back to her apartment, stripped off in front of me then paraded naked around the room as though it was as normal as putting on the kettle.

There was no warning, no prompting. She just undressed. In front of a complete stranger. Surrounded by mounds of worn and unworn discarded clothes and endless magazine pictures of herself.

It was March 2007, I had just moved to Los Angeles and wild-child Lindsay, the teen actress who could have been a Hollywood darling but is now on her way back to jail, was the undisputed queen of the party scene.

She looked expensive, she smelt expensive, her eyes sparkled in a mischievous way.

She was entirely intoxicating. Everyone wanted to know her. It’s hard to believe that was the same Lindsay who is now returning to jail for three months after repeatedly breaching her probation rules.

All she had to do was comply with a court order to attend an alcohol awareness course.

But Lindsay doesn’t listen to anyone, and in court last Tuesday, in front of Judge Marsha Revel, her luck ran out. The Lindsay who will hand herself into custody on July 20 is a woman dramatically changed – bloated in the face from drink and drugs and emaciated in the body.

A woman who has self-destructed and whose once-radiant features are cursed with an empty, glazed, constantly confused or anxious expression.

For two whirlwind, crazy years I was at her side, watching the madness unfold.

As a model and socialite in London, I’d grown accustomed to showbiz excess. But Lindsay was just off the scale.

I often wonder whether all her behaviour can be attributed to her addictions to drink and prescription drugs and her dabbling with cocaine.

But I have concluded that – sober or not – Lindsay, star of movies such as Mean Girls and Freaky Friday, is a real mean girl, a bad person, and a bad friend.

She is vacuous, self-consumed, spoiled and ugly inside.

At the root of it all has been her destructive, crazy, on-off, lesbian relationship with Samantha Ronson, sister of music producer Mark Ronson. They were supposed to have split last year but are still seeing each other.

Back when we first met, I had been in LA for a few weeks and was invited to a party at X Men director Brett Ratner’s house by Mike Heller, a hot-shot lawyer. I sexed myself up, slipped into my new peach Herve Leger dress and brown crocodile Yves Saint Laurent shoes – and was good to go.

The house is almost as infamous as the Playboy mansion for its parties and was heaving with guests when we arrived.

The pool was perfectly lit and Mike swiftly introduced me to his “dear friend”.

Lindsay locked eyes with me and smiled wide-eyed and almost bashfully I wondered if she was flirting with me.

I instantly felt uncomfortable – yet totally taken by her. I have never known any woman work a room the way she can and does.

She is entirely aware of the power she possesses over people. Her weapon is sex. I’m not saying she wants to have sex with everyone she meets – but I am saying that short, tall, black, white, man or woman... she will make you feel like she wants to.

This is a game for her. It is also the behaviour of someone with chronically low self-esteem.

We didn’t exchange many words before she took me by the hand and told me she was going to a club called Goa to meet her friend Sam – and asked if I wanted to join her.

We got into her car, driven by Jenny Muro, her long-suffering friend, driver and *confidante.

I was surprised when we arrived at Lindsay’s house. She said it was “because we have to change silly... we can’t go to the club like this”.

Lindsay was NOT shy. Within minutes of walking through the door she was completely naked, something I was stunned by but soon got used to, as this became a regular occurrence.

Lindsay just likes to be naked. The house was small and messy, there was no garden or pool and I was surprised by the chaos.

There were hundreds of magazines scattered around the place, all of the covers graced by my new friend. Twenty outfit changes later, she was ready to go.

At the club, Lindsay duly introduced me to Samantha.
Jasmine Lennard (pic: Rex)

She looked dirty, her teeth were yellow, her hair was limp, her body out of proportion, her nails chewed and her smile (I have only ever seen it once and it certainly wasn’t directed at me) crooked.

She judged me immediately, concluding I was some sort of stupid girl. One thing I am not is stupid. She massively underestimated me.

Sam was threatened by me even before she realised her girlfriend was attracted to me.

She refused to shake my hand or make eye contact with me. She had me down as a certain sort of person and was not interested. No loss there.

Her sense of style is non-existent: she seems chronically confused about her identity and in *desperate need of some styling.

Skinny jeans, oversized men’s sneakers and a dirty T-shirt. It was safe to say I was equally *unimpressed by her.

I am entirely dumbfounded when trying to work out how this woman could ever have become some icon of cool. She is so lost. Someone give her a map.

Lindsay isolated herself from friends and family members and immersed herself in Sam’s world.

Lindsay is totally self-obsessed and manipulative. The only room she has for anyone or anything other than herself is Samantha.

In my opinion Lindsay’s fall from grace is largely due to her obsession with Samantha.

In a period of 30 minutes Lindsay will send Samantha up to a hundred messages. Whether it be by mobile phone, email, Twitter or any other outlet she is always obsessively reaching out to Samantha. Lindsay posts regularly on Samantha’s Twitter page in a similar way to a dog peeing and marking its territory. Samantha rarely responds publicly.

When Lindsay was not with Samantha she was furiously trying to catch her out in some sort of dishonesty, something which she achieved regularly when she called various hotels, restaurants, airlines or night clubs to verify what Samantha had told her about her whereabouts.

On one occasion she revealed to me that while “everyone” thought she had been unfaithful to Samantha, it was in fact Sam who had sex behind Lindsay’s back... with a MAN.

She went on to claim on Twitter Sam had cheated on her. Lindsay and Sam are trapped in a jealous, unhealthy, unstable, vicious circle from which both need to escape – because the only direction is down.

But anyone and everyone who tried to explain this to Lindsay has been cut out of her life. I sometimes find myself attracted to women as well as men – but I never allowed myself to fall for Lindsay’s charms.

While it is undeniable that she is incredibly sexy, I just do not find being in bed with someone who is entirely out of their mind attractive. In honesty, I was far more compelled to just hold her like a small child and hug her.

She is wild, erratic, unpredictable and unkind. She is controlling and demanding, but somewhere underneath it all is a very damaged little girl who needs her Mummy.

But her mother Dina is incapable of mothering. She’s happy to knock back a few drinks with Lindsay but she is deeply confused about where to draw the line of friendship and *parenting.

Dina must without doubt share the blame for Lindsay’s downfall. It is no surprise that Lindsay fiercely defends her mother, who excuses her in every way, and attacks her father Michael, who refuses to do so.

While her father may be all of the things she claims – “a loser” or “a creep” or “media hungry” – I feel for him hugely in his absolute desperation over her welfare.

He has been to prison, he has been through addiction programmes and he might just be *qualified to actually help Lindsay – or at least point her in the direction of people who can, something she is resisting at all cost.

Lindsay’s problems are vast and complex. She has self-image issues, an eating disorder, drug issues.

She is an alcohol abuser, a sex addict and a love addict. She is utterly unable to control her use of any mind-altering substance.

Her life is totally unmanageable. Although she has a history of abusing drugs (a cocktail of Adderall, Valium, Xanax, Kolonopin and alcohol), at the moment she is still functioning, though barely.

There is an army of people around her ensuring the show goes on even when she is in a state one could only describe as disabled. Lindsay cannot be left alone. Not for one minute.

She is completely uncomfortable with herself and when surrounded by people it is far easier to not have to confront yourself in any way.

She cannot sleep alone or eat alone – it’s a wonder she can go to the toilet alone.

And when she has her entourage around her, she thinks she’s invincible. I remember one night when, surprise, surprise, Lindsay stripped naked.

It was just her younger sister Ali there, me and two other friends. She put on an Eminem track which had a reference to her in it and we were all forced to watch her gallivanting nude around the living room while this song was played on a loop for at least an hour.

It was like a small child trying to get their parents’ attention.

As that night went on, Lindsay was so disorientated she spent 30 minutes organising swim suits for us all – even though there was no pool there.

She was erratic and bouncing off the walls. I left around 5am because I was so tired but she rang me and demanded I go back, claiming my friend had stolen her phone.

I went back. She was due to go on TV to be interviewed on the Ellen show at 1pm – and she was still wired.

When eventually around 9am she fell asleep, I felt the triumph of a mother with a new-born child. It got to the stage when I was with her 24/7. I became her crutch. She asked me to move in with her full-time, but I just couldn’t.

I decided to break off regular contact with her in April last year. She rang me, ranting that she needed me to get prescription drugs.

I went round and she screamed: “You’ve got to hide... because Sam is coming round.” I said: “No, no Lindsay... I’m not doing this any more.” And I left.

In nine days, Prisoner Lohan will be back behind bars. She went into the court process arrogantly thinking she could manipulate the legal system the way she manipulates everyone else.

But she’s finally met her match. And if Lindsay does get her life together as a result of this, it may just be Judge Revel who she thanks for saving her life.

I wish her luck.

news@sundaymirror.co.uk


Lindsay Lohan is spoilt, ugly inside and just plain bad, says friend - 3am & Mirror Online

[Kat Scorp]

^ That's a cool read. The 'openly sexual' thing, I think I remember another story of Lindsay back when she still had red hair and the writer described her the same way: manipulative with her overtly sexual nature.

'Course, she can't get away with that anymore... not until photoshop is a tool you can carry around in your handbag.

[WhateverLolaWants]

Ugh, that was very hard to read. The girl will never win a pulitzer, that's for sure.

[faithanne]

TL;DR but I think I've already read it if it's the same chick who claimed Casey Johnson left a used dildo in her bed or some shit.

[sputnik]

yeah that's her.

[Novice]

She's a no-name, no-talent, self-publicising, reality-tv contestant who thinks that they're a model.....
She'll say any thing to be relevant.

[WhateverLolaWants]

Supposedly younger than me.

I think not.

Also supposedly female. Questions there, too.

Edit: Also, a cursory GIS of their names reveals NO photos of the two of them together. Considering how often Linz is photographed, that seems highly suspect.

[Novice]

Lindsay Lohan Will Receive Another Glowing Probation Report, Almost Completed Requirements

1 7

Posted on Feb 17, 2012 @ 05:00AM print it send it
Pacific Coast News

By Jen Heger - Radar Legal Editor
Lindsay Lohan will be in court next Tuesday for another probation progress hearing in her misdemeanor theft case, and RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned that the actress will receive another glowing report.
The Mean Girls star, 25, has completed 15 days of court ordered community service at the Los Angeles County Morgue, and 5 therapy sessions, as part of her probation requirements stemming from her no contest plea in a necklace theft case. "Lindsay is on track and doing very well in fulfilling all terms of her probation, and completing her service at the morgue, and her therapy. She is focused, and committed to putting this part of her life behind her," a source close to the actress tells RadarOnline.com.
PHOTO: LiLo Attends Jay-Z Concert Night Before Court
Judge Stephanie Sautner has kept a very tight leash on Lindsay's probation and implemented a very disciplined schedule for completing her probation requirements. After next Tuesday's progress report hearing, Lindsay will be required to complete 17 days of community service at the morgue, and 4 therapy sessions by March 29. At that point, if Lindsay is successful, she will officially be taken off formal probation, which means no more required meetings with her probation officer, and no more court appearances. Lindsay will simply be required to abide by all laws while she remains on probation for another two years.
PHOTOS: Lindsay Lohan’s Mugshot Hall Of Fame
This would be a huge accomplishment for the actress, as it would be the first time in over five years that she hasn't been on formal probation, and wouldn't have any probation requirements, other than obeying the law. "Lindsay is counting down the days until she is off formal probation. She is trying to get the community service done ahead of time. She knows the sooner she gets the work done then she will be a free woman. She just wants to get back to work in front of the camera," the insider says.
PHOTOS: Surfs Up For Lindsay Lohan In Hawaii
Negotiations are in the final stages for Lindsay to star in a Lifetime television movie about the late iconic actress Elizabeth Taylor and her Playboy magazine cover earned record sales.
Lohan is required to be in court on Tuesday, and RadarOnline.com will be there to bring you all the details.

[Kat Scorp]

Supposedly younger than me.

I think not.

Also supposedly female. Questions there, too.

Edit: Also, a cursory GIS of their names reveals NO photos of the two of them together. Considering how often Linz is photographed, that seems highly suspect.

Your pic is just a red cross for me. Could the source be blocking hot links? And I agree, possible a bollock smuggler


source: wenn/superiour pics


ETA okay, now it's working. Problem was probably on my end.

[rollo]

She's a no-name, no-talent, self-publicising, reality-tv contestant who thinks that they're a model.....
She'll say any thing to be relevant.

Lindsay?