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Thread: Kleptoskank Lindsay Lohan Nicks Bling, Evades Jail, Blames Black Kids Everywhere

  1. #1666
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    and she was doing so well - hahahahah

    Celebrity Gossip | Entertainment News | Celebrity News | TMZ.com
    Lindsay Lohan Cutting It Close with Probation




    Lindsay Lohan goes before Judge Stephanie Sautner tomorrow for her second probation progress report and she will once again pass with flying colors ... but this time it came down to the wire ... sources tell TMZ.

    As the judge dictated back in November, Lindsay was required to complete 12 morgue visits and 4 psychotherapy sessions by Tuesday's court hearing. Sources close to Lindsay tell us she's done just that ... but she completed the last 2 morgue visits on Friday and Saturday.

    According to our sources, Lindsay has been a model morgue employee. Translation -- She gets the job done with no drama and she's friendly with the staff.

    After tomorrow's hearing Lindsay will be at the halfway mark of her probation. She has another hearing February 15, where she'll have to show proof she completed another 12 morgue visits and 4 therapy classes. And on March 29 -- her final hearing -- she must show she's completed the remaining 17 morgue visits and 6 therapy classes.

    Should Lindsay slip up at any point, she gets 270 days behind bars
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  2. #1667
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    I love it that she went to court yesterday and no one here cared enough to post about it. Now she is being sued by a fellow nutter.

    Dlisted | Be Very Afraid
    Tuesday, January 17th 2012
    Lindsay Lohan Accused Of Being A High-Class Whore By A Former Marine

    The late Elizabeth Taylor's effort to possess the body of Judge Stephanie before sentencing Lindsay Lohan to Death Row so she can't barf all over the image of La Liz in a new Lifetime biopic failed today. Because LiLo was in court for another probation hearing and Judge Stephanie slipped on a Hazmat-made rubber glove to pat her head for doing what she's supposed to do. BORING! But the day wasn't completely a loss, because right before LiLo strolled into court, a process server served her with a reasonable and accurate lawsuit. No, Sebastian Bach is not suing LiLo for stealing his 2010 look. A man named Thomas A. Green is suing LiLo for $300,000 claiming she went back on a business deal with him, because he was close to uncovering the truth about her involvement in the death of Osama Bin Laden. Naturally.

    TMZ says that the 12 page, handwritten lawsuit looks about as crazy as a letter to a fan Lindsay Lohan writes on the back of a cocktail napkin after one of the voices in her head tells her that the potted plant in the corner wants an autograph. Thomas, a former U.S. marine who regularly has hallucinations, writes in the lawsuit that during a Facebook conversation with LiLo, she said she would help to promote his dot-com business. When LiLo started tip toeing away from the deal, Thomas found out that she had a huge part in the killing of Bin Laden and is a high-class prostitution whore. Thomas scribbled this in the lawsuit:


    "[Thomas] set out to command [Lohan] to twitter and stated if [Lohan] acknowledges this is an Osoma Bin Ladden op all civilians in past wrong doing will receive clemency.

    [Lohan] might be a high end prostitute."

    TMZ also called him a delusional crazy and White Oprah resembles that comment! You know, I was mad at TMZ for calling this absolutely sane man "delusional," but then I read the part where Thomas refers to LiLo as a "high end" prostitute. HIGH END? That's like saying rust water from a toilet tank is top shelf liquor. The only way LiLo can use the words "high end" in her escort ad is if she means that you have to sprinkle a little coke on her b-hole before you stick it in.

    There really is a fine line between a Lohan and a delusional sometimes-homeless crazy person, and LiLo snorted up that line a long time ago, so White Oprah should adopt this dude. They need to put their differences aside, because delusional crazies belong together.
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  3. #1668
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    WTF?????? I knew there were rumors but I can't believe they would have her play Liz...


    Lindsay Lohan I'm Signing On To Become Liz Taylor




    Lindsay Lohan is ready to sign on to play Liz Taylor, and she's going to complete her community service faster than required to clear the decks for shooting the flick.

    Lindsay -- who will appear in court at 10 AM PT for her probation progress hearing -- is in the final stages of negotiating the deal -- this according to sources very close to the actress/perpetual defendant. We're told the plan is to sign the deal early next week.

    And we're told ... Lindsay is actually getting more scripts than she's received in years -- apparently producers have noticed she's finally showing some maturity.

    As for today ... as we first reported Lindsay has completed the required morgue work and psychotherapy sessions. If all goes well, she'll be off probation at the end of March.
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  4. #1669
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Yeah, just like all those other roles she was supposed to get..
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  5. #1670
    Elite Member WhateverLolaWants's Avatar
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    I second Grimm's implied guffaw.
    ----------------------------
    There will be times you might leap before you look
    There'll be times you'll like the cover and that's precisely why you'll love the book
    Do it anyway

  6. #1671
    Elite Member SillyME54's Avatar
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    Wait a minute...I thought they were still deciding who to play Liz Taylor. I heard it may be Megan Fox...not that it's any better...but I think Lindsay is just jumping the gun again.



    Megan Fox or Lindsay Lohan as Liz Taylor?




    Share This Story







    Submitted by Amore Magazine on Jan 17, 2012
    Not so fast Lindsay Lohan when it comes to landing a big role in a big movie. This time Linds has some competition from Megan Fox as to who will play Elizabeth Taylor in the upcoming Lifetime movie.

    According to Larry Thompson, the executive producer of Lifetime movie Liz and Dick told E! News-
    "I've been talking to Lindsay Lohan directly, and with her reps, and have been in conversations with other actresses, including Megan Fox."

    "It's a very serious selection," Thompson continued. "It's like casting for Hollywood royalty."
    OK, we get the whole casting thing, but do you think Megan Fox is really up for the role or did he throw her name out there for negotiating purposes?

    What do you think, who would play the better Elizabeth Taylor, Lindsay Lohan or Megan Fox?




    Megan Fox or Lindsay Lohan as Liz Taylor?

  7. #1672
    Elite Member Jezi's Avatar
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    Maybe Lohan's playing Liz in her old age (no aging make up needed), while Megan Fox is young Liz.

  8. #1673
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    A lifetime movie? Bitch you done falled down hard.
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  9. #1674
    Bronze Member Lilliputian's Avatar
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    Lindsay's nose is similar to Liz's but beyond that I don't see much of a resemblance.

  10. #1675
    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    I would prefer Megan.
    Hello mother fucker! when you ask a question read also the answer instead of asking another question on an answer who already contain the answer of your next question!
    -Bugdoll-



  11. #1676
    Elite Member faithanne's Avatar
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    Well this is obviously going to be a top notch project if it involves the likes of Lindsay or Megan Fox. If only Lifetime movies could be nominated for Oscars...
    "You're going to die tomorrow, Lord Bolton. Sleep well."



  12. #1677
    Elite Member NVash's Avatar
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    Lindsay Lohan? On Lifetime? Isnt that reserved for people like Tori Spelling and Shannon Elizabeth?

  13. #1678
    Elite Member OrangeSlice's Avatar
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    Mother May I Sleep With Everyone?
    "Schadenfreude, hard to spell, easy to feel." ~VenusinFauxFurs

    "Scoffing is one of my main hobbies!" ~Trixie

  14. #1679
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by faithanne View Post
    If only Lifetime movies could be nominated for Oscars...
    they can:

    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

  15. #1680
    Elite Member Cali's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmlok View Post
    A lifetime movie? Bitch you done falled down hard.
    Just what I was thinking! But hey- at least this one might actually air, unlike that other movie she filmed ages ago that went straight to video/DVD.

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