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Thread: Kim Kardashian/Kanye West divorce countdown

  1. #2086
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    they are both carbon based life forms...
    chartreuse likes this.
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  2. #2087
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    Quote Originally Posted by mjw View Post

    I don't remember Audrey Hepburn sporting a plumber's crack.
    Kittylady and She's a Rainbow like this.

  3. #2088
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    The waistband on those pants mystifies me
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  4. #2089
    Elite Member ConstanceSpry's Avatar
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    ^^The waistband is normal, but the ass-that-needs-its-own-zipcode is causing it to drag down and distort.
    'I had to get rid of the kid. The cat was allergic.'

  5. #2090
    Elite Member Slushie's Avatar
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    I must say I'm surprised that the bike seat didn't get eaten up and lodged between those ass cheeks.
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  6. #2091
    Elite Member Palermo's Avatar
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    Does the woman not know how to buy a bra that FITS. Always bulging over the top and bottom
    chartreuse likes this.

  7. #2092
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    The comments in response to an article on Yahoo are great. My favorite:

    Kim and Audrey have much in common. Audrey cared for the children of the world. Kim's a$$ is the size of the world.
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  8. #2093
    Elite Member SillyME54's Avatar
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    …And Now For A Story We Can All Relate To

    April 16, 2014 / Posted by: Allison


    If you’ve ever looked at a picture of Kim Kardashian and found yourself feeling the same way you did that time you ate a rotten Filet-O-Fish sandwich, take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone. According to The Daily Mail, an Exeter man namedMike Amess (oh, he’s a mess, alright) is claiming that he’s developed a phobia of the Kardashians, wherein he breaks out in a cold sweat if he hears their voices, and that the sight of a semi-nude Kim will make him vomit. Someone needs to tell Mike Amess that that’s not a phobia, that’s just called being human.
    The 24-year-old said it all began back in high school, when he watched Kim’s sex tape in an attempt to try to repress his sexuality (oh, big mistake, Mike Amess; that’s like trying to get over your fear of the ocean by watching JAWS):
    “I downloaded the video and watched it secretly in my bedroom. But the sight of Kim writhing around with her huge bum and the sound of her horrible high-pitched wailing repulsed me. By the end of the tape, I had burst into tears. The experience left me terrified and I never wanted to see Kim’s face again. I have come to terms with my homosexuality now but my dread towards her has never left.”
    Mike Amess claims that his phobia has only gotten more traumatic over the years, due to the fact that Satan’s shameless hookers are everywhere, and while he tries his best to avoid triggers like television, magazines, and Craigslist postings for dumpy-looking slug prostitutes (hey, even snails need to get laid), sometimes he’s unsuccessful, like when Kanye West released Bound 2:
    “One day, I was lazing about on the sofa in front of the TV. I was skipping through music channels and that video came on. Seeing Kim naked, with her boobs bouncing about like that brought back memories of that horrendous sex tape. Before I knew it, I was sweating like a pig and throwing up.”
    “We can totally relate” – the crew from the Bound 2 shoot.
    A doctor, who does not treat Mike Amess, claims that while his phobia is super-rare and proooooobablyyyyy made up, there is a chance he is actually terrified of the Kardashians and Mike Amess should get some therapy so he can eventually change his name to Mike LessOfAmess.
    And regardless of whether or not Mike is telling the truth (he’s probably not, but I love him anyways) he should get help, and if there’s one person who can cure you of your phobia fears, it’s Maury Povich and a dude dressed up as whatever you’re afraid of. Quickly Maury! Dress a staffer up as a nasal-voiced, fake-assed porn star and help Mike Amess!

    Dlisted | …And Now For A Story We Can All Relate To





  9. #2094
    Elite Member faithanne's Avatar
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    Even though I want to say I'm Team A-Mess, did she even have the gigantic bum back in the sex tape days? Someone here has to admit to watching it.
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  10. #2095
    Elite Member Bombshell's Avatar
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    That is hilarious.
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  11. #2096
    Elite Member MmeVertigina's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillyME54 View Post
    …And Now For A Story We Can All Relate To
    Seeing Kim naked, with her boobs bouncing about like that brought back memories of that horrendous sex tape. Before I knew it, I was sweating like a pig and throwing up.”
    “We can totally relate” – the crew from the Bound 2 shoot.
    Thanks for posting this.
    SillyME54 likes this.

  12. #2097
    Elite Member WhateverLolaWants's Avatar
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    I saw the very first bit of the sex tape and don't remember the giant bum being present then.
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  13. #2098
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    Quote Originally Posted by faithanne View Post
    Even though I want to say I'm Team A-Mess, did she even have the gigantic bum back in the sex tape days? Someone here has to admit to watching it.
    In the spirit of camaraderie, I went to pornhub to see it. It's her old face/nose and her old/natural ass. I also saw a close-up of her cooter, so I deserve brownie points...lol.

  14. #2099
    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    “I downloaded the video and watched it secretly in my bedroom. But the sight of Kim writhing around with her huge bum and the sound of her horrible high-pitched wailing repulsed me. By the end of the tape, I had burst into tears. The experience left me terrified and I never wanted to see Kim’s face again. I have come to terms with my homosexuality now but my dread towards her has never left.”

    This is fucking hilarious. But hey, NOW I have something positive to say about the Lardassian. She helps struggling men come to terms with their homosexuality.
    BoogsBun and sprynkles like this.
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  15. #2100
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    ^ You don't say!

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