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Thread: Jools & Jamie Oliver Expecting Baby No. 5

  1. #46
    Elite Member OrangeSlice's Avatar
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    It's like one of those charts where you get your porn name from the name of the street you grew up on plus the name of your first pet, etc. someone should make a "What's your Jamie Oliver Baby Name?" chart.
    "Schadenfreude, hard to spell, easy to feel." ~VenusinFauxFurs

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  2. #47
    fgg
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    Jamie Oliver drops Baby Name…

    …and it’s Richard! Okay, no. Nor would you expect it to be. For review, and fodder for people to talk about ‘crazy Hollywood names’ for the next 10 years, the fact that the Olivers are in London notwithstanding, Jamie Oliver and wife Jools have four older children:

    Poppy Honey Rosie
    Daisy Boo Pamela
    Petal Blossom Rainbow…and
    Buddy Bear Maurice

    It’s those third, slightly-fusty names that get me. Pamela! Maurice! These names are predictably wacky and all, and ‘Bear’, ‘Rainbow’, and ‘Poppy’ in particular hit the Twee Celebrity Name Index near the bullseye—but again, ‘Pamela’. They don’t play by the book.

    As a result, the new baby’s name, River Rocket Blue, somehow inexplicably feels kind of pedestrian and done, as impossible as that seems. At least, it’s not going to make half as many “Oliver TWISTED NAMES” headlines (call me, Daily Mail). I feel like it lacks the unexpected factor. If the name was Rocket Blue Arnold, I would have been cackling in delighted disbelief, but River is the name of several celebrity kids already (at Nameberry, they dig in deep on River's celebrity heritage), and Blue…you don’t even need me to tell you. Right?

    I’d maybe feel less disappointed if they hadn’t held back announcing the name. They’re under no obligation to entertain us, but the longer we waited, the more I thought they were going to call him Roald Dahl Mustard, or Chauncey Wee Tiger, or something. I was really hoping for something to talk about, and Rocket Robin Boris could have gotten me there.

    Jamie and Jools Oliver name newborn son River Rocket Blue|Lainey Gossip Entertainment Update

    i posted this because it gets even better than river rocket...it is river rocket blue!
    rollo likes this.
    can't post pics because my computer's broken and i'm stupid

  3. #48
    Elite Member OrangeSlice's Avatar
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    Introducing the Oliver Baby Name Chart (v1.0)

    Hi, my name is Peppermint Orchid Fiona

    First letter of your first name Second letter of your middle/maiden name Third letter of your last name
    A Tulip A Splenda A Tony
    B Lilac B Peanut B Paula
    C Juniper C Baby C Andy
    D Cider D Lemur D Leslie
    E Macaroon E Ribbon E Mike
    F Apple F Frost F Charlie
    G Nutmeg G Bonnet G Skipper
    H Cupcake H Cilantro H Vincent
    I Pearberry I Ladyslipper I Lucille
    J Honey J Butterfly J Jasper
    K Cookie K Paprika K Barbara
    L Dolly L Orchid L Fiona
    M Lemon M Pebbles M Heather
    N Almond N Koala N Judith
    O Sapphire O Peach O Ted
    P Molasses P Wednesday P Frances
    Q Lilac Q Giggles Q Nancy
    R Tea R Stone R Ursula
    S Peppermint S Magenta S Ira
    T Vanilla T Cocoa T Tom
    U Bubbles U Fondant U Hermione
    V Marble V Element V Frank
    W Moonbeam W February W Nestor
    X Pumpkin X Shimmer X Genevieve
    Y Jonquil Y Basket Y Bobby
    Z Raisin Z Bingo Z Rick
    ManxMouse, MmeVertigina and rollo like this.
    "Schadenfreude, hard to spell, easy to feel." ~VenusinFauxFurs

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  4. #49
    Elite Member ManxMouse's Avatar
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    River Rocket makes me think of Red Rocket, which makes me think of dog penises
    Santa is an elitist mother fucker -- giving expensive shit to rich kids and nothing to poor kids.

  5. #50
    Silver Member marvel's Avatar
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    mine is stupid. jonquil heather. i dont have a middle name but lets go with my confirmation name. so im jonquil magenta heather. wtf. wait they are all stupid right?????

  6. #51
    Elite Member dolem's Avatar
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    Moonbeam Magenta Frances. Hey, at least Frances, while not my favorite, isn't insane.

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    Elite Member missbazilb's Avatar
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    Dolly Stone Skipper

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    Peppermint Peanut Ira.
    I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. Hunter S Thompson

    How big would a T-Rex wang be?! - Karistiona


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