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Thread: Joanna Lumley [Patsy ... Ab Fab]: 'Being Patted On The Bottom Is Not Assault' ...

  1. #31
    Elite Member Novice's Avatar
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    Nov 2006
    Beyond Caring, then hang a left.


    Quote Originally Posted by levitt View Post
    I would have stomped on the foot/head/cock of the guys who stroked my vagina (can't believe I had to type out that sentence), but they obviously knew I wouldn't be best pleased so they'd stroke it and walk right past, disappearing into the crowd. I think I worked out one guy who was doing it, but if it wasn't him and I went parading up to him asking him not to grope my vagina please and thanks and it ended up not being him, well what a knob I'd look.
    Annnnd that is what they are counting on, including the guy who's arm I nearly broke (ok, so dislocated shoulder at worst but you get the picture), even with his wrist nearly at his neck he was denying that it was him!!!
    levitt likes this.
    "I don't know what I am to them, maybe a penguin XD" - Tiny Pixie

  2. #32
    Elite Member penname's Avatar
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    Mar 2008


    Although this may seem a fairly straightforward matter (touch/assault me and I claim the right to deck you), there are a gazillion variables that make it less so. As Kittylady says, if youíre on your own and vulnerable, while the patter/groper is with mates, is it always wise to react aggressively?

    If youíre being groped by a drunken stranger on a train, thatís one thing. A hearty slap wonít usually cause more trouble than it solves. But what if itís something more subtle, like if youíre at a party, dressed provocatively and have been drinking, and a guy youíre chatting to makes a clumsy physical pass: is that assault, or a misunderstanding - and is it worth getting sued yourself for assault? What if itís a work party - how about if your boss, or your bossís boss, puts his arm around your shoulders (and perhaps Ďmissesí your shoulder): is that being proprietorial or is it assault? Or an accident? What if itís his wife who does it? Above all, when it happens, and you only have five seconds to respond, is it best to be confrontational or do nothing? And on the spur of the moment, are you sure youíre making the right call?

    Itís easy to decide what youíd do when when you have time to think or when youíre just talking with pals (like on GR). And of course itís easy to talk assertive/aggressive on a website. But in real life, on the spur of the moment, when itís just a pat, itís far less easy. I think most women are programmed to keep the peace, be pleasant and smiley; some are simply more timid (and/or naive) than others, and in Blighty, weíre also indoctrinated into not ďmaking a fuss.Ē No wonder so many men take advantage of it. Iím musing here, but I think that sometimes those proprietorial bum pats, which are part condescension, part opportunistic, part affection, are often best treated with the same kind of grace that well-mannered people treat bad manners by anyone. After all, we're not talking rape or violent assault here, which is in a very different league. It doesnít make the pat right, but when youíre put on the spot, and thereís the possibility of consequences - and mistakes - itís a lot less hassle, trauma, stress and worry than a possible court case. But then Iím old enough to remember when nearly all men felt entitled to Ďpetí you in one way or another. Like in Mad Men, but without anyone as fanciable as Don Draper. However unfair things still are, they're so much better now.
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.(Lana Turner)

  3. #33
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Apr 2008
    Wherever my kids are


    When Mrs. Mohandas and I worked together, we had a mutual coworker who seemed like a nice guy. But apparently, when he would greet her (when I wasn't there), he would sort of grab her shoulder and lightly shake it, and say, "Hi (name)". She felt freaked out by it, like he was somehow getting off on it. So, the next time he did it, she shot up out of her chair and grabbed his shoulders with both hands and said, "Hi, Dean!!!" And shook him the same way. She said he looked like he was in shock, and that was the last time he ever tried anything.
    70sRock likes this.

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