Joanna Lumley [Patsy ... Ab Fab]: 'Being Patted On The Bottom Is Not Assault' ...

[Kittylady]

In the days when I used to wear stilettos I used to step back heel first onto the foot of any arse grabber and put my weight on it, but only if I was with plenty of other people as you still had to leave the safety of the pub to go home at some point. When you are on your own it's so much harder to kick up a fuss or make a (very pointy) point about not being someone who appreciates being touched.

[levitt]

I've been in a nightclub where multiple different men have stroked my vagina through my clothes. WHAT THE FUCK. Since when is this acceptable?! SINCE WHEN

[gas_chick]

I agree it is not assault but what I do after it happens will be considered that I'm sure.

[Novice]

Word.

I remember one night when I was about 21, (like 1992-ish), me and a friend had just arrived at a club and bought drinks and a guy grabbed both our asses as he walked past and I yelled "HEY!" and he turned around and I said, "how would you like it if I grabbed your dick like that?" and he was already turning into a wimp and both my friend and I threw our drinks in his face and I went and told the door guy (who knew both of us as regulars) and had the guy banned.

I am so glad my parents, their faults aside, made sure my sister and I held any men who tried to fuck with us, accountable for their actions, even if we use assault back on them. (As in my drink on his person.)

I put a 6'3" rugby-player-type in an arm lock for something similar. I got groped in a crowded bar so grabbed the guys wrist & hoisted it as high as I could. He asked wtf I thought I was doing? I replied removing YOUR hand from my ass! "it wasn't me" "so how come I've got your hand between your shoulder blades? Hum???"
His mates (fortunately) laughed at him & it was apparent that it was "sport" to them.

It's gross, and as for Levitt's comment... *shudder* i'd've killed them.

I turned the tables on the sleevy salesmen & they ran like mad. It was very empowering to see just how scared they were of a woman.

[KrisNine]

This is a tough one for me. I'd like to say that I don't think it's assault, but if someone smacks you in the face it sure as hell is assault. And, because it's on a woman's ass, I'm going to go with it being sexual in nature. I don't necessarily think someone that does it is a sexual offender, but they are most definitely a creep.

What is it with clubs? I had a guy stick his hands between my legs once. It's fucking disgusting and I wish I could have punched his lights out.

[Kittylady]

I hate the feeling of helplessness as much as I hate the touching. If I'm with someone -ie. I have backup - then I feel I can handle it but when you are on your own and you know that you still have to get from A to B alone and if you kick off on this guy and piss him off....

[NickiDrea]

Read this again.....


I worked in an environment when sexual harassment was an every day occurrence. Still to this day (it was over 20 years ago - which makes me feel very old), if some random dude touches me or grabs my butt without my consent I really struggle not to drop that bitch. Seriously, I find it incredibly offensive & MrN learnt the hard way not to be a dick about it.

I don't think it's a compliment OR acceptable behavior. But picture this scenario: Person A has just turned 18. He is a senior in high school. He slaps a classmate's butt at school. He then is forced to register as a sex offender for 15 years- meaning he will not get a job and most likely will be severe problems finding anywhere to live. 20 years later, Person A gets drunk at a party. He slaps another person's butt. If convicted he will not only register as sex offender FOR LIFE, he will get over 15 years in prison as a MANDATORY sentence. This is not a silly hypo I'm making up. This is actually happening and is even commonplace.

I don't discount anyone's feelings of being violated. I was a victim of sexual assault in college and I do remember how it felt to be violated. But sending someone to prison for decades for smacking someone's ass is not an appropriate punishment. People who have actually killed people would get lower sentences than a two-time ass grabber with no other record! It doesn't make sense and is, in my opinion, Unconstitutional.

[Flygirl]

Looks as if Person A didn't learn to keep his damn hands off someone else's ass the first go 'round so he deserves what he gets.

[SHELLEE]

Lynnie come back!!!!!!!

[Lobelia]

Joanna is considerably older than even me (shut up) but I do get what she's saying. I don't think a playful tap on the ass is sexual assault, in fact these days I'd consider it a compliment. I worked for several years in the head office of a big UK construction company where most of the male staff/managers were pretty rough diamonds who, in retrospect,were the most chauvinistic cavemen I've ever known. Some of them were total assholes BUT if they overstepped the mark and you let them know they had, they were good as gold. They respected confident, strong women who gave as good as they got and we all got along just fine once we all understood where to draw the line. Yes, I got the occasional grope (usually after a drunken lunch) but I just shrugged it off. It certainly didn't cause PTSD like some women do these days. I can just imagine the lawsuits that would be flying around these days.

What is your opinion/perspective regarding my situation that I described upthread? Where a complete stranger with no personal or work connections, a true genuine random stranger, walks behind you as you shop and then fondles your ass as you try to shop with your toddler. By the same argument you presented, should that be shrugged off as well? Basically if a guy at work grabs your ass, is it more or less of a transgression than if a complete stranger did it?

[roslyntaberfan]

I always publicly call out fuckwits who touch me when they shouldn't. Fuckers. I've no problem making a scene and humiliating them.

[funky_chicken]

I can't help myself but most of the time I punch everyone that grabs my ass / tits / whatever. Not the most intelligent move on my side, I know, but the reaction is so fast I can't control it. Attack and defence. Noone has the right to touch my without my permission.

[levitt]

I would have stomped on the foot/head/cock of the guys who stroked my vagina (can't believe I had to type out that sentence), but they obviously knew I wouldn't be best pleased so they'd stroke it and walk right past, disappearing into the crowd. I think I worked out one guy who was doing it, but if it wasn't him and I went parading up to him asking him not to grope my vagina please and thanks and it ended up not being him, well what a knob I'd look.

[ConstanceSpry]

It all boils down to lack of respect. If you respect women, you will not grope them, whether they are acquaintances or strangers. Too many men see women as objects to be commented on and/or touched at will and if you don't like it you are a feminist bitch/on your period/a lesbian. Sucks.

[levitt]

I think I actually was on my period at the time. Wish they'd somehow hit a magical switch and it had just sprayed all over them, like some weird protective Carrie-type womb projectile.