'I may never have kids,' says Kylie Minogue as she approaches her 40th birthday

[jive]

Why do people always relate career women to being cold? Just because you are capable, independent, driven and able to support yourself without the help of a man doesn't mean you're cold. Just because someone chooses not to have children doesn't make them cold. I find it very annoying that people always point fingers at women who work. Having a career doesn't make you COLD. Plenty of working or "career" women are excellent mothers. Ever think maybe they work because they need a paycheck? infact, I don't know too many people would work if they didn't need the extra income. Also, many single mothers have careers to support their children, does that make them cold? I am really sick of being called cold. For some reason the mothers on this board want to portray women who support themselves as bitter, barren, cold, heartless, waste of lives. I don't care if you have kids, go ahead, but don't frown on other peoples success. Makes me wonder if perhaps deep down you're unhappy with the decisions you have made in your life. I am not critical of people who choose to get married and have babies, never have an ounce of independence, never made a penny in their lives. That's their choice. I don't sit around calling them vague words with negative connotations to justify my own lack of experience.

[Beeyotch]

Not surprising. Cold career women like Kylie look down upon those of us who value being mothers. You can see it on this board - the most feverant childless women are always making passive aggressive comments about mothers.

Omg, what is with the "cold career women" bit? That's an inflammatory statement if I ever heard one, guaranteed to offend and stir up shit. Nobody here said anything on this post until you came up with that dig against "cold career women." Why keep beating the same horse? It's like you enjoy these fights on this subject.

[Tati]

Childless women like Kylie annoy me. Women who have children aren't needy, just like women who desire good careers aren't needy either. Her 'Supermothers' comment reeks of sarcasm to me. She flat-out sounds bitter.

I'm 38 yrs old and have a fulfilling life. I'm unmarried with no husband but have had plenty of lovers. I also have no children, but know I still have the option to do so (if I so wish). All of this was by choice. I'm sick and tired of people who don't want children degrading people who do. I'm an unmarried woman with no kids and yet I tip my hat off to mothers and fathers who juggle so much: careers, home, relationships and parenthood.

I had good parents and would never minimize the role of a mother or a father. Raising a child is an awesome responsibility. For those who want children, my best to them. For those who have them already, bless your hearts because it must be rewarding but also very TOUGH! For those who don't ever want them, be happy with your decision but remember that a lot of people didn't have kids to 'fulfill' their lives or feel important. In fact, for many people, children only made their good lives even better.

Well said, PrettyGirl. I've never understood why either choice, when addressed by the "opposite" camp, is always riddled with ridiculous stereotypes - mothers must be minivan-driving twinset-clad suburb-dwellers while working women must be cold, calculating workaholics? Kylie's guilty of it here:

The singer, who turns 40 next month, said: "I think that perhaps this is not the right path for me. I never had the feeling of a conventional marriage with a terraced house in the suburbs."

Okay, I don't want a terraced house in the suburbs either. I didn't realize one was required to have kids? I'm not sure what a "conventional" marriage is - I would very much like for my husband and I to remain faithful to each other, love and support each other, thanks, does that make us conventional? She was talking about having a baby, and suddenly attaches a whole stereotypical lifestyle to the idea. It's completely fine not to have kids, you don't have to justify it attaching a bunch of other stuff you don't want, to the concept.

[Honey]

honey, the quote in your signature made me

Me too

[MsDark]

She's way too self-absorbed to be a good mother anyway. She's going to find getting older very, very difficult to deal with. Oh well.

I agree. My first thought upon reading this title was "let's hope not!"

I'm with you guys on the "cold" career woman bit being tired. Met my share of evil, cunty SAHMs who could freeze up an entire room upon entering. Some women are just ice queens and miserable 'never happy' bitches no matter what their choices.

[Tati]

^ It's also just such a silly stereotype even aside from the "versus motherhood" angle - some people simply enjoy working, without being the least bit interested in climbing the corporate ladder or working 14-hour days. It's silly to think that everyone who works outside the home is especially driven or is slaving away at an office at the expense of the rest of their lives. Most of do have to work, after all, and it's not always in a cold, corporate, boardroom setting - that's really become a cliche to me.

Just because a woman works doesn't necessarily mean she's a "career woman" first and foremost - it's funny how we don't apply that label as a blanket term for all men who work outside the home... I guess because we just expect all men to work outside the home? There are certainly "career men" out there, but there are also plenty of fellows who aren't married to their jobs and are simply working to earn an income or add variety to their day. Shocker - it's the same for women!

[GoldDust77]

Why do people always relate career women to being cold? Just because you are capable, independent, driven and able to support yourself without the help of a man doesn't mean you're cold. Just because someone chooses not to have children doesn't make them cold. I find it very annoying that people always point fingers at women who work. Having a career doesn't make you COLD. Plenty of working or "career" women are excellent mothers. Ever think maybe they work because they need a paycheck? infact, I don't know too many people would work if they didn't need the extra income. Also, many single mothers have careers to support their children, does that make them cold? I am really sick of being called cold. ... I don't care if you have kids, go ahead, but don't frown on other peoples success. Makes me wonder if perhaps deep down you're unhappy with the decisions you have made in your life. I am not critical of people who choose to get married and have babies, never have an ounce of independence, never made a penny in their lives. That's their choice. I don't sit around calling them vague words with negative connotations to justify my own lack of experience.

^^Well said, Jive.--Especially the bolded part. I don't have kids (though i am only in my late-20s & maybe will have them someday) & am offended when people lump us childless women together as some kind of bunch of cold, selfish people. I am enjoying being young & feel i've thusfar made the right choice to not have kids, but (like you said), i am NOT judgemental of women who have made the opposite choice & HAVE decided to have children & therefore live a life quite different from my own. WHY do other people even have to COMMENT on other board members' ways of life/life choices, never mind comment NEGATIVELY??? I just don't get it. I agree with you, Jive: It seems people who are judgemental of people who have made different life decisions, are maybe jealous/unhappy deep down--at least on some level. People that are truly happy don't bitterly judge others or make snide comments about their way of life. JMO --If you are truly happy with your choices, then, as Beeyotch touches on in her post (quoted after this paragraph), WHY the need to post negative things that will offend & stir up crap???

Quote: Originally Posted by purple rain
Not surprising. Cold career women like Kylie look down upon those of us who value being mothers. You can see it on this board - the most feverant childless women are always making passive aggressive comments about mothers.

Originally posted by Beeyotch:
Omg, what is with the "cold career women" bit? That's an inflammatory statement if I ever heard one, guaranteed to offend and stir up shit. Nobody here said anything on this post until you came up with that dig against "cold career women." Why keep beating the same horse? It's like you enjoy these fights on this subject.

^^Totally agree, Beeyotch.

[MsDark]

I didn't have my son until I was 28, and in some ways I think I'm more content than some of my peers who had kids early and then got a little restless later on. They're good mom's and all, but basically went straight from mom and dad's home to life with a husband (and kids within a year). I love that I had about 8-10 years to have fun and do whatever I wanted, including having my own place. My 20's were all about fun. Even for awhile after I met my (future) husband. Remember having sleepovers after a night out together or with friends where he would crash at my place or vice versa. We have fun now, of course, it's just different. A lot more planned now that we're officially grown-ups and responsible for a kid. And there's two types of "fun" for us now. A kid-friendly gathering and an adult one.

[GoldDust77]

I didn't have my son until I was 28, and in some ways I think I'm more content than some of my peers who had kids early and then got a little restless later on. They're good mom's and all, but basically went straight from mom and dad's home to life with a husband (and kids within a year). I love that I had about 8-10 years to have fun and do whatever I wanted, including having my own place. My 20's were all about fun. Even for awhile after I met my (future) husband. Remember having sleepovers after a night out together or with friends where he would crash at my place or vice versa. We have fun now, of course, it's just different. A lot more planned now that we're officially grown-ups and responsible for a kid. And there's two types of "fun" for us now. A kid-friendly gathering and an adult one.

Sounds like you have lived/are living a very fulfilling, well-planned out happy life, MrsDark.--That's awesome! It also, coincidentally, sounds like pretty much EXACTLY THE SAME as how i have also lived/planned out/expect/hope to live my life. () I've always lived by the same thought as you, that "My 20s are for fun., i'll have kids when i'm nearing or in my early 30s." -That plan works for me because that way i will have "sowed my wild oats" & gotten my "going out partying days" out of my system and will be ready to settle down & be content being a mother, knowing i lived it up fully in my 20s & didn't miss out on anything. Enough about me, but, this is just how I MYSELF (and pretty much you too, apparently!) feel & plan to do things.--I'm not saying it's the right way to do things, and i don't judge people who, for example, had 3 kids by age 23 (like a friend of mine did). That is/was just not the path i myself chose, but for some people it WAS the right path & i respect it. I also TOTALLY respect & understand women who have no desire to ever have children.

I'm kind of babbling here, but i guess my point (which to me seems like it should be obvious to everyone) is just that we all live our lives differently, with very different life choices made, but the important thing is that we all have to just simply respect other peoples' lifestyles/life choices & not put them down, or hold negative stereotypical opinions about people who chose a different path. (i.e., calling childless women cold & only concerned about their careers or whatever)