Halle Berry: "Yes, I'm pregnant!"

[curlysem]

Originally Posted by crumpet

Originally Posted by Bellatheball
I'll never understand why women commit to having a child with someone but don't commit to marrying someone. Call me old fashioned but I don't get it.

I get what you are saying. It's like 'marriage is so permanent that I don't want to make such a serious committment but I'll have a kid with you and be linked with you the rest of my life that way'. It puzzles me that having a kid almost seems less serious and permanent to some people than marriage.
**Sorry I can't get the fucking italics to turn off....

Sorry to pee on the parade......but I can't help it, it bothers me that nobody seems to care anymore that kids out of wedlock is no big deal. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I am not saying that folks who have kids out of marriage are bad people or bad parents or that their kids won't be happy or well adjusted. It's just that Hollyweird reality and real world reality are different. Whether anybody likes it or not, kids with 2 parent families do better in life overall. Can you be unmarried and still have a 2 parent family? Sure, but the research doesn't lie and it has been shown over and over that kids born out of marriage have more problems of all types. That doesn't mean I think people should get married just because of a pregnancy or that they should stay in a bad marriage just 'for the kids'.....well, actually if there is no abuse or infidelity then I think tearing your kid's world apart just because you 'aren't happy anymore' is pretty selfish. That's another talk show altogether, I know. It's just that when average Joes do the same thing as celebs the consequences aren't as rosy because they don't have the same resources. I expect to get flamed, but I don't mind.

Anyway, I find Halle absolutely gorgeous. However, as an actress she is overrated and I'm not sure why so many people think she will be a great Mom. I think this girl is fucked up as a football bat and I feel sorry for her kid if it's a girl.

Well Said!!

[crumpet]

Crumpet Like you said research doesn't lie and research does indicate that parents staying in a marriage where they are unhappy is very detrimental if not more detrimental than the effects of divorce on children. Two parents are ideal yes; however that’s two functional and stable parents. Marriage in many cases doesn’t permit parents to be 'functional or stable' due to the stress of their relationship with each other.

Well, I don't want to hijack this thread more than I did already. For what it's worth (and that's not much) my parents were married before mom got pregnant and they divorced when I was very young because my father was a raging, violent alcoholic. We never go child support or anything else but peace when mom got him out of her (and my) life. I did not become a statistic, but easily could have. My mom was a great parent who put me first unlike other single moms I've witnessed who were most interested in getting a new boyfriend and maintaining their own social lives. That said, I still believe that being married, then having kids generally creates more of a climate of committment to raisng the children. I also don't know that it's healthy for kids to have separated parents and see them each with a revolving door of men and women coming in and out of their lives. The research that says a parent's happiness affects the kids really focuses on not staying in abusive relationships (physically or verbally) for the sake of the kids because it sets a terrible example (just one of many issues with it). However, it seems to me that the "I need to be happy so my kids will be happy" brigade is often motivated by selfish interests. They want what they want and they are going to rationalize it any way they have to. They tell themselves that leaving the wife or husband who loves them so that they can follow their heart into someone else's bed is really better for their kids in the long run. Or that it is better for their kids not to see them 'bored'. I think as long as kid's needs are being met they aren't all that obsessed with mom or dad's personal fulfillment. Then again, I think many marriages fail just because people don't take the committment seriously enough and there's a lot of the 'grass is greener' phenomenon at play. Lots of folks say they tried to make it work but they really didn't. They saw something else they wanted more and broke the door down trying to get to it.

Please, don't bombard me with antecdotes about how so-and-so's situation was different, or come to me to attack me for stereotyping you (not you personally, just in general) because I know there are many people who end marriages for very good reasons. I'm talking about the ones that don't. If we want to go into this further we should start another thread on the relationships forum or something.

[effie2]

CRUMBET,i have nothing more or less to say.
I applaud you.

[crumpet]

^^^^Well, thanks for being so nice, but it's just how I feel. I'm not saying I'm better than anyone else. I don't even want kids and don't really like being around young ones, but it's just so darn sad how so many of them have adult situations placed in their laps.

[witchcurlgirl]

Originally Posted by HWBL

Why wouldn't it be?

Ursula Andress had her son at 44.
Jane Seymour had her twins at 45.
There's plenty of other mothers, celebs or not,
who had their children without any medical
intervention (far) past 40. My mom had me
two months before she turned 42!

lots of celebs don't admit to using donor eggs....like Jane Seymour....

of course it can happen without intervention, but lots of celebs do it with help

[Chalet]

Maybe they'll marry despite what she's said in the past. Sounds like the baby was planned. Maybe their relationship is tight enough to become a family. Sarandon/Robbins, Hawn/Russell are good examples of couples not wanting the marriage certificate.

Originally Posted by witchcurlgirl

lots of celebs don't admit to using donor eggs....like Jane Seymour....

of course it can happen without intervention, but lots of celebs do it with help

There's a Hollywood high risk doctor that they use. Brooke Shields and Marcia Cross used him. After trying for five years, my 41 year old girlfriend went to him (she had lots of fibroids and blood clot issues). She's 5 months pregnant.

[sweetrebel]

That's great^^ I had to have a hysterectomy due to huge fibroids and lots of bleeding...my baby days were over, though, I had a tubal when my yongest was born...she is 17 now...

[Heavenseventeen]

Originally Posted by PrettyGirl

Awww, I'm happy for her! She married twice and those marriages didn't work out, but her child she will NEVER regret. Halle's beautiful, successful and I think she's ready for this. I'm dying to know how her baby will look...mixed babies are usually really exotic and pretty-looking. Gabriel's a good-looking white man and she's half-black/half-white. Watch her baby come out looking caucasian--blonde hair and colored eyes...I believe Halle's mother has green or blue eyes. You never know!

So people who aren't mixed race are uglier?

You don't need "white genes" to get blonde hair or blue or green eyes. Black people have those too.

[Bellatheball]

Originally Posted by Yoko Ono

Think Britney. ( ewww, yeah I know) gets married has legitimage children and now she could lose a lot of her fortune to K_Fed.
Seems a very expensive way to do things the old fashioned way.
Hollywood marriages don't last anyway.Payout time will come around eventually. So why bother?

So if there's no hope at all for their future as a couple, why drag children in to it?

[Ravenna]

I also believe that people should be married before having children, and I've never understood either how people can think that having a child with someone is less of a committment than marrying them. You can always get divorced, but that child ties you to the other parent for life.

However, Halle is 41 and if she wants a baby so much, she doesn't have a lot of time to wait around for Mr. Right, so I give her a pass on this.

[crumpet]

As far as the argument that half of all married couples end up divorced anyway, so what's the point of getting married then having kids together........

I believe that only 20% of smokers get lung cancer (could be wrong), so would you buy the argument that one may as well smoke ? Or that you are definitely going to die anyway, so why bother trying to live healthy?

[tkdgirl]

Originally Posted by Bellatheball

So if there's no hope at all for their future as a couple, why drag children in to it?

Because children magically fix a troubled marriage. *sigh*

[HWBL]

Originally Posted by witchcurlgirl

lots of celebs don't admit to using donor eggs....like Jane Seymour....

of course it can happen without intervention, but lots of celebs do it with help

Do you know for a fact that Seymour used donor eggs?
Just as much as celebs, or anybody for that matter, might
not want to admit something, it's just as much speculation,
gossip and guessing that they DID use donor eggs.
For decades, the oldest woman on record to have naturally
conceived and given birth to a normal healthy child was a Russian
farmer's wife, at the age of 59. More recently, a British woman,
also 59 - but I guess a little older than the former "record holder" -
has taken over her spot.
Is it rare? Absolutely, almost freakishly so. Is it impossible to
conceive (way) into your forties and later without help? No.

[Lily]

I guess it's sort of good news for Halle. Except I can't stand Halle Berry and think she's overrated and has a plastic face and is ridiculous and can't act. (And no, an Oscar doesn't mean crap.....Halle and Angelina have Oscars....but Ian McKellan and Kate Winslet and other actually gifted actors don't? Pffft)....

Also, it's sort of funny that people think children are "things" they are entitled to.
I think this baby is doomed to be f*cked up. Good luck, Halle.

[Makedah24]

Originally Posted by greysfang

The odds aren't in anyone's favor with more than 50% of all marriages ending in divorce.

I would have NEVER said it better.