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Thread: Gywneth Paltrow Is Selling A Candle That Smells Like Her Vagina

  1. #16
    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    I can't imagine the Goopster being a great lay.

    And I don't wanna think about what her steamed vag smells like, much less a candle inspired by it.
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  2. #17
    Elite Member Waterslide's Avatar
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    Speaking of things that smell of the sea, she's also got her own Goop Cruise.

    The Goop Cruise Is Coming This Summer

    January 10, 2020 / Posted by: Kristian


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    Gwyneth Paltrow is always trying to find a new way to bring her highly-specific brand of audacious, niche fuckery to the world. She’s got her show. She’s got her ads. She’s got her lists. She’s got her bullshit. There’s no changing Gwynnie, she’s a cradle-to-the-grave high-octane lunatic. Well now she’s going to take things one-step further in her journey to extort educate the world on her GP ways: Goop At Sea, the Goop Cruise is coming. I mean, really? You want to be stuck on a boat with this many high-maintenance-ass people? There will be a murder on those high seas.
    USA Today says that Goop is partnering with Celebrity Cruises to create the first ever Goop at-sea experience. This will happen on Celebrity Apex sailing, which departs from Barcelona on August 26, and will sail around the Mediterranean with a bunch of hyper-rich people with terrible decision-making skills, and a high level of self-obsession until September 6. I don’t know, that’s a long time to be holding a jade egg in your cooch.
    Gwyneth told USA Today:
    “I love being on the water, I love being by the water and I love being in the water. And I think, energetically, it’s very cleansing to be near the sea or in the sea.”
    So the Goop portion is only one day of this, and will be on August 30. But like, if you wanna go to the Goop part, you’re there the whole time. Like, what–you’re gonna helicopter in? Well actually, with Gwyneth’s crowd… that’s possible.
    Goop’s cruise day is inspired by the company’s “In Goop Health,” wellness summits–which we know were amazingly educational and didn’t encourage the people who attended to call GP an “extortionist” because of all the bullshit she over-charged for. She said:
    “We’ve had massive success with In Goop Health, our wellness summit that translates Goop’s content into a tangible, high-touch experience. This partnership with Celebrity Cruises allows us to bring Goop to new audiences and to meet readers where they are.”
    The announcement says:
    “With Goop at Sea, we’ll be invoking that adventurous spirit with a series of transformative experiences led by a few of our most-trusted wellness practitioners and healers.”
    It’s likely seminars offered at the cruise would be: “The Mind Session,” “The Body Session” and “The Soul Session”. It’s amazing because the only thing said in these sessions should be:
    “The key is: have so much money you don’t know what to do with it so you can invest all your time, energy and attention into hedonistic bullshit.”
    And hey, if it goes well they’ll do more! Gwyn said:
    “If it resonates for the guest and it feels like a good (collaboration), then it’s definitely a partnership we’d like to expand on for sure. For Goop, we like to test everything out.”
    These Goop at Sea tickets cost an “additional” $750 to guests who book suite accommodations. I checked and a suite is $4100. The cheapest room is $2100 and it’s not called a “suite”; so I think your Goop ticket will cost more than $750 if you’re even eligible.
    Personally, I just can’t wait to hear about the Goop-night cruise finale where they perform a ritual similar to the movie Midsommar where the two people on the ship with the oldest spirit-age leap from the vessel to their deaths, stuffed to brim with jade vagina eggs, in order to bless the rest of the Goopers with eternal grace. It’ll be a magical experience.

    Pic:YouTube


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  3. #18
    Elite Member aabbcc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarzy View Post
    The smell then “evolved into a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent,” according to the company.
    E. None of the above.
    DawnM74 likes this.

  4. #19
    Elite Member louiswinthorpe111's Avatar
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    So I read this to my husband. He wants to know how they formulated the scent and who’s verifying that it’s accurate.

  5. #20
    Elite Member Waterslide's Avatar
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    Open Post: Hosted By Vagina Expert Gwyneth Paltrow Being Unable To Say Vagina Without Giggling

    January 23, 2020 / Posted by: Mieka


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    If your Goop is as full of shit as Gwyneth Paltrow, please seek medical attention immediately. And I’m not talking about Gwyneth’s fake ass medical attention either, seek qualified practitioner with an actual medical degree who can prescribe antibiotics. Gwyneth’s milking this vagina candle for all its worth and talked about it, again, this time on Late Night with Seth Meyers. Gwyn’s been telling the same origin story about the This Smells Like My Vagina candle which is made by a company called Heretic Parfum. In it, our spirited heroine makes a joke about a Heretic product she’s sniffing smelling like her vagina, and in that instant, a legend was born. (*wet fart noise*)
    This time, Gwyneth cranked the bullshit meter up to 11 by stating that her idea to laser print the word “vagina” and slap it on a bunch of overpriced candles was “punk rock.” Ma’am. L7’s Donita Sparks pulling her tampon out and throwing it into the crowd is punk rock. Being a self-professed vagina expert yet being unable to say the word vagina without giggling is Goop. Stay in your lane, Gwyneth. via PageSix
    Paltrow said she was with Douglas Little, her personal perfumer and collaborator on Goop fragrances, when she smelled “this beautiful thing” and joked that it smelled like her nether regions.
    “I was kidding, obviously,” she told Meyers. After having a laugh, the name stuck.
    “I think women, a lot of us have grown up feeling certain degrees of shame around our body or whatever,” the star added, calling the choice of name “a little punk rock.”
    “So this is just a little bit of, you know, a subversive candle for all of us out there.”
    Here’s the interview. I’ll also point out that Gwyneth childishly seems to think adults taking mushrooms in a controlled environment (something that’s featured on her Netflix show. And I don’t think she even did it herself, last year she claimed to have never taken psychedelics) is somehow daring and cheeky. It’s only daring if you actually have to call your dealer to see if they have a hookup. On the telephone! Doing mushrooms isn’t scary, but talking on the telephone is punk as hell.

    Pic: YouTube

    Tags: Gwyneth Paltrow, How Very GOOP Of You, Open Post


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  6. #21
    Elite Member SHELLEE's Avatar
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    I can't believe that these dumb twats actually bought her vagina scented candle. PT Barnum was right.
    holly, czb, Sarzy and 4 others like this.
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  7. #22
    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waterslide View Post
    “I think women, a lot of us have grown up feeling certain degrees of shame around our body or whatever,” the star added, calling the choice of name “a little punk rock.”
    “So this is just a little bit of, you know, a subversive candle for all of us out there.”
    If I was going to get all subversive and shit I would hope that I could be more creative than buying an overpriced fucking candle.
    DawnM74 and Waterslide like this.
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  8. #23
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    How much did it cost anyway?

  9. #24
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kittylady View Post
    fucking candle.
    explains the smell
    Quote Originally Posted by MohandasKGanja View Post
    How much did it cost anyway?
    $75
    MohandasKGanja and Kittylady like this.
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  10. #25
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    For $75, I would want the invisible aromatic tendrils to take me back to the day I lost my virginity.
    DawnM74, Kittylady, effie2 and 1 others like this.

  11. #26
    Elite Member effie2's Avatar
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    So far i might laugh at some o the idiotic stuff she said or did,or be a bit bothered with it.Now i actually dislike her and i think she is an annoying ,selfish,deluded ,entitled ugly bitch.
    DawnM74 likes this.

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