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Thread: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin Separate

  1. #61
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gas_chick View Post
    I loved the announcement. So Gwynnie. They were total polar opposites so no shock here.
    see i don't think they were all that different. he's an upper class, public school boy who thinks he's better than everyone else and is über pretentious. she's the american equivalent. other than martin not having famous parents, i think they're quite similar. i think they've been on the rocks for ages but i was never that surprised by their being a couple. made more sense than her and brad or her and affleck.
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  2. #62
    Elite Member Bellatheball's Avatar
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    Love that one blind said she's an A-/B+ star. lol She would not approve.

  3. #63
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    She cheated on Brad. Now it looks like she cheated on Chris.

    I do believe it's good that they announced it while they are away, as a family. That keeps the kids away from the headlines this week, and shows the kids a united front. So kudos to them for handling it well for the kids.
    Last edited by sluce; March 26th, 2014 at 02:27 PM.
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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sluce View Post
    She cheated on Bard. Now it looks like she cheated on Chris.
    Everybody in the trailerpark knows you are supposed to uncouple your doublewide from the first pickup before hitching it to the next one.

  5. #65
    Elite Member kasippu's Avatar
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    Michael K vision on the uncoupling
    Goopy Paltrow And Chris Martin Are Over

    March 25, 2014 / Posted by: Michael K

    Goopy Paltrow announced on GOOP today that Chris Martin can now eat McDonald’s all day long on 100-thread count sheets and his asshole is breathing a sigh of relief, because it no longer has to get daily coconut oil and quinoa water enemas. Even the pretentious ass title of Goopy’s break-up statement makes my eyeballs roll right out of my damn head.
    Conscious Uncoupling
    It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.
    Love,
    Gwyneth & Chris
    I’ve read all the blind items that were supposedly about them, so this shouldn’t make me clutch my anal beads out of shock, but it kind of did. Goopy and Chris Martin have been married for 11 years and I figured they’d be one of those cold, WASP bitch couples who’d make each other miserable forever. She’d spend her nights drinking $500 bottles of wine with her only friend, her maid, while he’s out bareback fucking 20-something after 20-something. They’d sleep in separate wings of their mansion and every time they’d go out in public together, she’d say under his breath, “I hate you more than bleached flour,” to him while throwing a fake smile. Shit, I think I just described the last couple years of their marriage.
    And “conscious uncoupling ” sounds like a really pretentious way of describing shit coming out of a butt during a bowel movement. Does Goopy ever stop thinking about poop?!



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  6. #66
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    You're welcome Michael K. The folks here at GR wrote 50% of that article for him.
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  7. #67
    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    I don't think she ever got over getting dumped by Brad.

    You'd think this would knock a person down another peg, but I predict she'll become even more insufferable. If that's possible.

    Quote Originally Posted by sluce View Post
    You're welcome Michael K. The folks here at GR wrote 50% of that article for him.
    Thank you! I don't think I'm wrong to take credit for "Goopy Paltrow". If he'd used that before I wrote it, I never saw.
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  8. #68
    fgg
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    Conscious Uncoupling…for a Rat

    What have I been telling you about those born under the sign of the RAT? This is the Year of the Horse. And the Horse is not kind to Rats. Since Chinese New Year the warning was there: Rats will have it rough. Here’s the post where it was foretold. DO NOT f-ck with Chinese astrology is what I’m saying.

    Have I mentioned that my book, Listen To The Squawking Chicken, will be released next week in Canada and there’s an entire chapter dedicated to Feng Shui and Fortune Telling?

    Anyway…

    Gwyneth Paltrow just announced on GOOP.com that she and Chris Martin have “consciously uncoupled”.

    This comes a few weeks after it was reported on a secret app that she’d been having an affair with entertainment lawyer Kevin Yorn. But then again, if you were blinded and riddled, you probably would have figured that out in October …only that was about someone else. G and Chris were happy on Oscar weekend though, even going so far as to attend an event together. And be photographed together. Last week they were in Venice with their kids – and were photographed as family. Click here to see those shots.

    The timing of the statement is curious too. Not on a Friday to bury it on a weekend but on the eve of tabloid Wednesday…and on her website too, which is crashing by the way. That’s another blurred line between business and personal, public and private.

    So…why?

    He was young when they married and had a child. Do you think he ever worked out his rock star desires? And his response to his wife’s desires? Perhaps the idea of “open” could only go so far. There are only so many young, attractive (even thinner than you) fashion girls you can take before you decide you can’t stand the hurt and decide to stop hurting other wives and other friends.

    There’s more to this story that’ll take us all week and into next week to discuss. And just in time for my book tour.

    For now though, if we were to play a preliminary game of replacements, who would you suggest for Gwyneth? (After the appropriate mourning period, obviously.) Let’s get into that tomorrow. For Chris though… I’m thinking… Alexa Chung?

    PS. Just got a tip that I’m still working to verify that G and “Coldplay” were in Eleuthera last night. So, together on the eve of their separation.

    Update: I have confirmed that they are indeed in Eleuthera.

    Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin announce separation|Lainey Gossip Entertainment Update

    lainey confirmed GP as the cheater blind we all guessed.
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    can't post pics because my computer's broken and i'm stupid

  9. #69
    fgg
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    Rebranding Gwyneth Paltrow

    I love Duana. Duana texted me in a rage last night about Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s separation announcement. Specifically this:

    "We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate."

    For well over a year?

    Working hard?

    Sometimes together?

    What might have been possible?

    Now those are some DETAILS, right? Very private details. She just told us the length of time they spent trying to fix their relationship. That is the very definition of private. And yet, I can’t look at pictures of you walking down a public street with your children?

    How am I supposed to know which way the wind is blowing for you to consider something “private” and “private enough to share on a blog that gets millions of visitors and has now crashed from your sharing of your privacy”?

    Make up your f-cking mind.

    That’s what’s infuriating about celebrity indulgence and cherry-picking. They get to draw the line and move the line and take away the line any time they want to. And we have to keep up with that sh-t.

    What’s the sh-t that my G is serving now? Well, she just put her marriage on blast on her BUSINESS. And, regularly, on her business, she’s also delivering wellness and emotional advice, parading a series of experts into your inbox about how to get over this and feel better about that and do more with this.

    So…Gwyneth… are you monetising your upcoming divorce?

    She has a publicist. It’s not like the publicist couldn’t have released the message. But she deliberately chose to do it on GOOP. The official rationale would be because she wants to speak directly to her fans. Another possibility might be that, strategically, it’s for the Brand.

    What is the brand now?

    Single mother in her 40s. Dating. Balancing motherhood with her own desires. A fist up in the air and an ass that’s tighter than a professional dancer’s.

    Her latest episode of Glee aired last night too. Coincidence or conspiracy? G was all discoed up, looking amazing. Coincidence or conspiracy? Angelina Jolie was in Vegas going for an Unbroken Oscar. Coincidence or conspiracy?

    Oh please.

    Like I said earlier, a single Gwyneth Paltrow is infinitely more interesting. And definitely Good For Gossip.

    So…who?

    Gwyneth isn’t JLO. Gwyneth aims high. Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck, and the leader singer of Coldplay? That’s all status right there. The side pieces she keeps hidden. Lawyers and showrunners are not out in the open. When it’s out in the open it has to be A Name. Why did I keep thinking Jake Gyllenhaal last night? Jake Gyllenhaal could certainly ease the sting from a fashion It Girl who’s skinnier than she is. She just… never expected he would fall in love. And that he wouldn’t be able to fall out of love even after he ended it.

    How long will it be before Kate Hudson sets her next target though? And how will that upset the fragile peace between Hollywood pedigreed blondes?

    Gwyneth Paltrow separation rebranding?|Lainey Gossip Entertainment Update

    i can't wait until all the juicy secrets come spilling out!
    can't post pics because my computer's broken and i'm stupid

  10. #70
    Elite Member WhateverLolaWants's Avatar
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    I think we all do that a little, though. Maintaining public and private spheres appropriately is not even a skill we polish. When we WANT to talk about something, if we feel positive about it, we have all kinds of mediums at our disposal to make it everybody's business. But when it's embarrassing or difficult, unless we are specifically asking for help of some kind, we often clam up and don't want to be asked. All quiet on the social media front

    It think it's just easier to see in celebrities because their 'public' statements are REALLY FUCKING PUBLIC. And their private statements? Often still public Or more public than they would like.

    So yeah. I'm not going to nitpick Goop, partially because I like the stupid betch, but also because I acknowledge that she's human. We're kind of stupid like that.
    ----------------------------
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    Do it anyway

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    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    I hate Lainey. That's all.
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  12. #72
    czb
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    agree with you, lola. i don't see the biggie about 'cherry-picking' what to share. we all do that, to some degree.

    ugh, can't believe i'm actually defending someone pretentious enough to describe their divorce as a 'conscious-uncoupling'. i feel so dirty ....

  13. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by czb View Post
    agree with you, lola. i don't see the biggie about 'cherry-picking' what to share. we all do that, to some degree.

    ugh, can't believe i'm actually defending someone pretentious enough to describe their divorce as a 'conscious-uncoupling'. i feel so dirty ....
    As well you should!

  14. #74
    Elite Member gas_chick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sputnik View Post
    see i don't think they were all that different. he's an upper class, public school boy who thinks he's better than everyone else and is über pretentious. she's the american equivalent. other than martin not having famous parents, i think they're quite similar. i think they've been on the rocks for ages but i was never that surprised by their being a couple. made more sense than her and brad or her and affleck.
    Anytime I've seen him interviewed he seems much more "normal" than Gwynnie. Plus his bestie is Simon Pegg my soulmate and I know he would never hang out with a snobby asshole.
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  15. #75
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gas_chick View Post
    Anytime I've seen him interviewed he seems much more "normal" than Gwynnie. Plus his bestie is Simon Pegg my soulmate and I know he would never hang out with a snobby asshole.
    I agree with the Pegg theory. The first interview I ever heard with Chris Martin was on Howard Stern, and I think it was only a few months ago. He seemed to really know how to handle Stern's questions. He would just roll with it and one-up some crazy/inappropriate question with an even crazier answer.
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