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Thread: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin Separate

  1. #256
    Elite Member Icepik's Avatar
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    Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin Have 'Uncoupling' Ceremony

    We would warn you to take this news, which comes courtesy of a UK tabloid, with a grain or two of salt-but then again, it does sound like something that might occur to Gwyneth Paltrow. As she and Chris Martin are "consciously uncoupling"-while on what they're reportedly calling their "break-up-moon" in the Bahamas (the same one during which Martin reportedly gave Paltrow a parting gift)-the couple supposedly took part in a spiritual ceremony marking their separation. Paltrow, you see, doesn't want their split to be "seen as a sign of failure but as an 'inevitable circumstance,'" a friend explains.

    Sources tell the Daily Star that a Kabbalah rabbi led the beach ceremony, which involved Paltrow and Martin reading from a sacred book, lighting a fire, and using stones to symbolize the "concrete relationship" that will continue between them (but then threw rocks into the water to symbolize their "wandering spirits"). Yep. Sounds about right. Then they reportedly recited, "Blessed are you in coming in and blessed are you in going out" and kissed farewell. All of this, mind, came during a vacation that involved Paltrow and Martin waking up at 5am for "daily counseling and joint meditation sessions," the friend says.

    If you're wondering why in the world these two are splitting up, apparently it's not all New Age-y sunshine and roses; another source tells Us that "when only Gwyneth and Chris are together," sans kids, "there appears to be some tension."

    https://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/gwy...183500600.html

  2. #257
    Elite Member Bellatheball's Avatar
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    Getting your balls back for $25 million seems cheap to me!
    darksithbunny likes this.

  3. #258
    Elite Member AgentOrange's Avatar
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    "Break-up-moon", meditations sessions, "Blessed are you", & rocks? They're pulling our legs right? I only believe maybe 50% of this tops!

  4. #259
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    I believe all of it! Failure is not an option for Goopy. It's the rich tapestry of her wondrous life.
    kasippu likes this.

  5. #260
    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bellatheball View Post
    Getting your balls back for $25 million seems cheap to me!
    You'd have to have had them to start with. I doubt Casper Milquetoast did.
    Just Kill Me likes this.



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  6. #261
    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    If he actually participated in something as lame as that "uncoupling ceremony" his balls are less significant than I already gave them credit for.

    Did they each bring their current hookups and rent adjacent rooms with thin walls?
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  7. #262
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    I find it hard to believe CM participated in that. Isn't that the point of separating - that he doesn't have to do that shit anymore?
    Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum

  8. #263
    Elite Member aabbcc's Avatar
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    Oh, for fuck's sake. Gwynnie, let me make it simple for you ... uncoupling ceremony = signing the divorce papers. Two seconds, done!

  9. #264
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    Quote Originally Posted by Icepik View Post
    Sources tell the Daily Star that a Kabbalah rabbi led the beach ceremony, which involved Paltrow and Martin reading from a sacred book, lighting a fire, and using stones to symbolize the "concrete relationship" that will continue between them (but then threw rocks into the water to symbolize their "wandering spirits"). Yep. Sounds about right. Then they reportedly recited, "Blessed are you in coming in and blessed are you in going out" and kissed farewell. All of this, mind, came during a vacation that involved Paltrow and Martin waking up at 5am for "daily counseling and joint meditation sessions," the friend says.
    So, Gwynnie got the balls in the divorce. I wonder, if Chris gets the house.

  10. #265
    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    I thought there were confirmed reports they went away with the kids last week or this week or something. I don't know if the ceremony is true, but I think if they are trying to make this as painless as possible for the kids by showing them that Mom and Dad are still friends and they are all still a family, I think it's a good thing. The new age-y lingo is annoying but the intent and process (vacationing together, sharing a house) seem positive.
    czb likes this.

  11. #266
    Elite Member Flygirl's Avatar
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    There is nothing good that can come from sharing a house with your ex.

  12. #267
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    ^ They bought the house next door specifically to deal with this annoying convention!

  13. #268
    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flygirl View Post
    There is nothing good that can come from sharing a house with your ex.
    It depends on the people. I shared with my ex for years and years, right up until I moved in with the Bloke, and if (heaven forbid) something happened and me and himself split I know that I could go back to living with my ex. He's my best friend.
    I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. Hunter S Thompson

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  14. #269
    Elite Member darksithbunny's Avatar
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    I would buy this whole ceremony thing if they threw rocks and then set each other on fire. God help the next woman who gets serious with him. Fishsticks will be horrible to her.

  15. #270
    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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    Manipulative much?

    Ever since Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin made their “conscious uncoupling”announcement, the Academy Award-winning actress has been boasting to pals that she STILL has the Coldplay frontman wrapped around her finger, RadarOnline.com has been told.
    What’s more, the controversial GOOP founder believes that if she wanted him back, the British-born rocker would take her back, no questions asked!
    A source close to the split said: “Gwyneth might think that, but Chris just isn’t having it. He is over being treated like a second fiddle. Everything in their marriage was ALWAYS all about Gwyneth.”

    Complicating matters for the 41-year-old mother-of-two, her swaggering has made it back to Martin!
    “He is just fed up with Gwyneth’s childish antics,” noted the insider.
    “Yes, they did attend mutual friend Robert Downey Jr.‘s birthday party over the weekend, but trust me, it was more Gwyneth hanging all over Chris! She only makes these grand gestures in public. Behind closed doors, she is as cold as ice!
    “It’s all a game to Gwyneth. She is deliberately putting out a message that all she has to do is snap her fingers and Chris will come running back. But in reality, it is not true.”
    As Radar revealed, Martin, 37, fears his ex is also spreading vicious cheating rumors about him so he will appear “less sympathetic.”

    “Chris now believes that Gwyneth is leaking rumors about his alleged trysts in an effort to sully his image and make him look less sympathetic,” another insider told us.
    Paltrow is said to be furious over the recent report that Martin hooked up with a Saturday Night Live assistant — while he and Paltrow were still together — a claim he has denied.
    “Friends of the of the couple point to a major double standard, with Gwyneth having pushed for open marriage so she could pursue other men, but demanding absolute fidelity from Chris,” the source told Radar.

    “Chris is telling friends that Gwyneth was so self-involved that she believed she was more evolved than Chris and that she could better emotionally handle juggling out of marriage relationships with other men.”
    Meanwhile, Martin is “looking forward to getting back out on the road with Coldplay,” to promote their upcoming album, Ghost Stories.
    “The band intends on embarking on a world tour in support of the album, which could see them on the road for at least the next nine months,” said one insider.
    “The timing couldn’t be better for Chris to get out of Los Angeles. The plan is for the band to perform for two-three weeks at a time, with at least a two week break, so he can spend time with his children,” Apple, 9, and Moses, 7.

    http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2014/04/gwyneth-paltrow-chris-martin-split-wrapped-around-finger/

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