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Thread: Fiona Apple Arrested for Hash Possession: Report

  1. #16
    Elite Member FashionVictim's Avatar
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    I'm surprised she's on tour, I read an article that basically stated she didn't ever leave the house.
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  2. #17
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    I guess she went back on the road then. Hash ain't cheap ya know.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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  3. #18
    Elite Member Laxmobster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waterslide View Post
    I thought she had an eating disorder, but was told she didn't. I still don't think I quite believe that though.
    I thought so too; her body has always been rail thin like that. Her face has definitely aged a lot.

    I have a friend who is obsessed with her and is always raving about her concerts. Although that could just be her obsession talking...
    Quote Originally Posted by Celestial View Post
    I also choose to believe the rumors because I am, when it is all said and done, a dirty gossip.

  4. #19
    Elite Member Waterslide's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laxmobster View Post
    I thought so too; her body has always been rail thin like that. Her face has definitely aged a lot.

    I have a friend who is obsessed with her and is always raving about her concerts. Although that could just be her obsession talking...
    I agree, my opinion is that she had an eating disorder on top of being naturally rail thin. It could explain why she's aged so much. She seems to have had a rough time of it, she just isn't as loud about it as some of her peers.

    I never heard her sing live, but I do like some of her stuff.
    "AND WHEN YOU BECAME DENISE, I TOLD ALL YOUR COLLEAGUES, THOSE CLOWN COMICS, TO FIX THEIR HEARTS OR DIE."

  5. #20
    czb
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laxmobster View Post
    I thought so too; her body has always been rail thin like that. Her face has definitely aged a lot.

    I have a friend who is obsessed with her and is always raving about her concerts. Although that could just be her obsession talking...
    her performance was pretty bad. she couldn't keep time with her band and she danced like a pigeon-toed gumby on quaaludes. a real disappointment.
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  6. #21
    Elite Member AgentOrange's Avatar
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    Default Fiona Appleís Confusing Statement After Being Arrested for Hash Possession

    I guess this could be called cryptic:

    Here's Fiona Apple's Confusing Statement After Being Arrested for Hash Possession

    Now, most of the people were very nice to me. There are four of you out there, and I want you to know that I heard everything you did. I wrote it all down with your names and everything you did and said stupidly thinking that I couldn't hear or see you. I then ripped the paper up, but not before I encoded it and ó I got two lock boxes. We'll call them "holding cell one" and "holding cell two." In "holding cell one" is the encoded version of the shit that you did that I know was inappropriate and probably illegal. In "holding cell two" is the decoder. I'm the only one who holds the key, and you and I will be intimate forever because I will hold that secret forever. Unless of course the celebrity that you had so much interest in but you wanted to accuse me of bringing up while you laughed at me all night? Unless you're interested in being a celebrity, I'll make you fucking famous any time you ask and I'll open those boxes. So why don't you stay in your fucking holding cell?

  7. #22
    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    I think she's got mental issues.

    From the snippets I've read about her she's always been psychologically/emotionally frail and had problems with anorexia, hence her being physically frail.

  8. #23
    Gold Member karat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beeyotch View Post
    I think she's got mental issues.

    From the snippets I've read about her she's always been psychologically/emotionally frail and had problems with anorexia, hence her being physically frail.
    Agreed. I know she was raped in the past (during adolescence I think) and she definitely has had an eating disorder long-term. I suspect she's got some personality disorder or other psych stuff going on as well. Psychiatric issues combined with being a celebrity....I'm sure that's fertile ground for numerous substance abuse issues. Sad, because she really does have a beautiful voice.

    As for the picture, she really looks like she's aged a couple of decades in the last few years. Is she wearing a wig in the mug shot?

  9. #24
    Elite Member WhateverLolaWants's Avatar
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    This sounds like some of the things Tesla rambled later in life.
    ----------------------------
    There will be times you might leap before you look
    There'll be times you'll like the cover and that's precisely why you'll love the book
    Do it anyway

  10. #25
    Elite Member Waterslide's Avatar
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    In case anyone wanted to hear the audio of the lock box speech.

    [YOUTUBE]NVhK7Z9HQJ0[/YOUTUBE]
    "AND WHEN YOU BECAME DENISE, I TOLD ALL YOUR COLLEAGUES, THOSE CLOWN COMICS, TO FIX THEIR HEARTS OR DIE."

  11. #26
    Elite Member Annika's Avatar
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    people just clap and cheer and have NO CLUE wtf she's talking about. so funny.

  12. #27
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    I must be bonkers cause Fiona's looks like Nicole Richie in her mugshot.
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  13. #28
    Elite Member Waterslide's Avatar
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    Monday, September 24th 2012

    A Texas Officer Pulls Some "I've Got Your Number, Hussy" Shit On Fiona Apple


    Above is Fiona "Let's Smoke Out Of A Bong" Apple at a show in Houston Friday night, one day after she was put into handcuffs after cops found a little weed and some hash on her tour bus at an inspection checkpoint. Between songs, Fiona gave the audience classic Fiona Apple when she let out a rambling monologue full of DRAMA. Fiona accused 4 officers of the jail she was kept in of doing some possibly illegal shit. Fiona let them know that at any moment she can set that station on fire with the revelations that will pour of her mouth. Fiona has been watching too much Revenge. Pitchfork transcribed Fiona's entire rant and it really has me wondering if I sound like that after smoking one too many bowls.
    "Now, most of the people were very nice to me. There are four of you out there, and I want you to know that I heard everything you did. I wrote it all down with your names and everything you did and said stupidly thinking that I couldn't hear or see you. I then ripped the paper up, but not before I encoded it and-- I got two lock boxes. We'll call them "holding cell one" and "holding cell two". In "holding cell one" is the encoded version of the shit that you did that I know was inappropriate and probably illegal. In "holding cell two" is the decoder. I'm the only one who holds the key, and you and I will be intimate forever because I will hold that secret forever. Unless of course the celebrity that you had so much interest in but you wanted to accuse me of bringing up while you laughed at me all night? Unless you're interested in being a celebrity, I'll make you fucking famous any time you ask and I'll open those boxes. So why don't you stay in your fucking holding cell?"
    But the Public Information Officer of the Hudspeth County Sheriff's Department isn't sitting in the corner of a dark room and shaking at the thought of Fiona destroying him with a bunch of lock boxes of SECRETS! Officer Rusty Fleming fought back at Fiona with an open letter that I swear was ghostwritten by Dionne Warwick. Officer Rusty looked Fiona up and down and basically said she ain't shit. Fiona didn't put a spotlight on Officer Rusty, Officer Rusty put a spotlight on her. Yes, he's coming at her like that. TMZ has the letter and I snapped so much that the skin on my fingers rubbed off:
    First, Honey, Iím already more famous than you, I donít need your help. However, it would appear that you need mine.
    Two weeks ago nobody in the country cared about what you had to say, -- now that youíve been arrested it appears your entire career has been jump-started. Donít worry Sweetie, I wonít bill you.
    Next, have you ever heard of Snoop, Willie or Armand Hammer? Maybe if you would read something besides your own press releases, you would have known BEFORE you got here, that if you come to Texas with dope, the cops will take your DOPE away and put YOU in jail.
    Even though you and I only met briefly in the hallway, I donít know you but Iím sure youíre an awesome and talented young woman and even though Iím not a fan of yours, I am sure there are thousands of them out there, and Iím sure that they would just as soon you get this all behind you and let you go back to what you do bestóso my last piece of advice is simple ďjust shut-up and sing.Ē
    Sincerely
    Rusty Fleming
    More like QUEEN Rusty Fleming. When he started off with "First, Honey, I'm already more famous than you...." I thought he was going to end with "I took your stash and I'll take YO MAN next, beeeee-otch!" Being an officer in Texas is fun. You get to take people's stash away and smoke it while writing bitch-a-fied letters. I mean, Rusty gave himself away with that "I'm already more famous than you" line. We now know what he did with Fiona's hash.

    Posted by: Michael K
    5 comments ē

    Fiona Apple ē I'm Taking Notes ē Well Well Well

    "AND WHEN YOU BECAME DENISE, I TOLD ALL YOUR COLLEAGUES, THOSE CLOWN COMICS, TO FIX THEIR HEARTS OR DIE."

  14. #29
    Elite Member WhateverLolaWants's Avatar
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    "Please. I'm not even mad."
    ----------------------------
    There will be times you might leap before you look
    There'll be times you'll like the cover and that's precisely why you'll love the book
    Do it anyway

  15. #30
    Elite Member AgentOrange's Avatar
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    http://kingofthehill.wikia.com/wiki/Joe_Jack

    Joe Jack (Born September 29,1958) Age 53 A Grill Associate at Strickland Propane, he often calls his co-workers "honey" regardless of their gender.
    fattymatty likes this.

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