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Thread: FBI Agent: 'Sonny Bono was clubbed to death'

  1. #61
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    LMAO!!

    ^^Oliver Stone would give Sonny (the Italian) a Irish accent - what was he thinking with Alexander?! Lets have Steven Speilberg direct it, however he's such a feel good guy that Sonny wouldn't die at the end, or with his dying breath he'd utter ''phone home" and disappear. Personally I think he was done in by a Ent. I'm sure it was a tree with a British accent.

    A*O Ya know I probably never heard of a spotted dick because my husband does all the cooking. If he's ever made spotted dick I would have remembered "honey want some spotted dick?" I tell you I would have remembered. Of course I would have sent him to the doctor just to check things out.. Yes I am a domestic goddess, he cleans bathrooms really well too.

    aabbcc - Oh mercy I was just happy to get his name right. Maybe it's the condoms that are Ramseys... or not?

    penname - so see there ya go being all one sided again. Thats why your moldy tea got dumped into the harbor and killed all our fish.
    We get Madonna, Ho-ther, Naomi and dear sweet kind Gordon of "I never met a hot woman I didn't like" fame (someone needs to tell him he looks like he's a band member of the Rolling Stones) and you get to keep the park trolling for boyfriends Kevin Spacey? Um see the unfairness of it all? Lets not even mention you dumped Vick the Stick on us who hooked up with the alien twins Tom and Katie Cruise. AND you never even offered to take Paris Hilton! I cry foul! Nay I say! Keep yer bloody mischief makers!

    By the way we can help you with that capitol crime thing - just ship em here everyone else does. Most of the people in our jails don't even speak English. By the time they get the "sleep of death" we've spent millions on them trying to prove it wasn't their fault they got caught with the murder weapon ala O.J. Simpson.

    I bow before you, that bit about Dumbledore slayed me.. classic! I did laugh my ass off and I'm still looking for it, it's rather large so I'm sure I'll find it. At the rate they are putting out the Potter movies, dividing them and all, Daniel can play Harry and Dumbledore.

  2. #62
    Elite Member twitchy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GaPeach View Post
    Maybe it's the condoms that are Ramseys... or not?
    Gordon Ramses! Chef/porn star!

    "The howling backwoods that is IMDB is where film criticism goes to die (and then have its corpse gang-raped, called a racist, and accused of supporting Al-Qaeda)" ----Sean O'Neal, The Onion AV Club

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy View Post
    Gordon Ramses! Chef/porn star!
    now that there will make you "toss your cookies"
    sorry I cracked myself up

  4. #64
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by A*O View Post
    George Lazenby (Aussie and automatically the best Bond LOL) is now married to former tennis champ Pam Shriver. She never struck me as the 'marrying kind' but there you go.

    As requested, a recipe for Spotted Dick

    285g (10oz) Self-Raising Flour
    150g (5oz) Shredded Suet
    150ml (¼ pint) Milk
    110-160g (4-6oz) Currants or Raisins
    85g (3oz) Castor Sugar
    1 Lemon, zest only, finely grated
    Pinch Salt

    Mix all of the dry ingredients, including the grated lemon zest, together thoroughly
    Add enough milk to produce a soft dough.
    Turn out onto a floured surface.
    Roll out the mixture to produce a roll approximately 15cm (6 in) long and 5cm (2 in) in diameter.
    Prepare either a tea towel lightly dusted with flour, or sheet of kitchen foil or a double thickness of greaseproof paper, brushed with melted butter.
    Wrap loosely but securely, leaving enough space for it to rise.
    Tie or seal the ends.
    Place in the steamer and cover tightly.
    Steam for 1½ to 2 hours.
    Serve cut into thck slices with hot custard.
    No wonder people don't make it anymore! This is odd: Canada makes it. Aussies make it. Not US! I don't know what suet is or how to shred it. Maybe use shredded wheat? Castor sugar is plain old white sugar? Not powder. All of you have a big steamer that will cook stuff 2 hours worth? I can see why new cooks would back off! I do not wish to seem ungrateful-I loved reading the recipe-over & over. This one is worse than Yorkshire pudding-at least that one lured you into thinking "Hey-easy! I can do this". This one you know,right off. Then,after so much trouble,you let people pour custard on it?? I would swat them.
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

  5. #65
    Elite Member twitchy's Avatar
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    Shredded suet isn't the same as shredded wheat. It's beef fat. You could substitute shortening. You can do it! Have a dick!

    "The howling backwoods that is IMDB is where film criticism goes to die (and then have its corpse gang-raped, called a racist, and accused of supporting Al-Qaeda)" ----Sean O'Neal, The Onion AV Club

  6. #66
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy View Post
    Shredded suet isn't the same as shredded wheat. It's beef fat. You could substitute shortening. You can do it! Have a dick!
    Beef fat! That you shred? Shredded wheat was the only shredded I could think of,off hand. This is just dicking around. This one is over my head,skill wise. I'd better stick to hot dogs.
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

  7. #67
    Elite Member twitchy's Avatar
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    The dick is over your head? You're kneeling, aren't you?

    "The howling backwoods that is IMDB is where film criticism goes to die (and then have its corpse gang-raped, called a racist, and accused of supporting Al-Qaeda)" ----Sean O'Neal, The Onion AV Club

  8. #68
    Elite Member Palermo's Avatar
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    Suet, isn't that what you put out for the birdies in winter?

  9. #69
    Elite Member twitchy's Avatar
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    Yes, they need the extra energy in the cold.

    "The howling backwoods that is IMDB is where film criticism goes to die (and then have its corpse gang-raped, called a racist, and accused of supporting Al-Qaeda)" ----Sean O'Neal, The Onion AV Club

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    OK, I give in. You guys are hysterical - and Peach, I bow to your sense of humour. I shall commend you to Monty Python.

    In the meantime, we would like to apologise unreservedly for Vick the Stick. Clearly you don't get the joke. However, if you intend to return her, you must also return The Package - otherwise known as David. *pauses to lick lips*

    You guys have the best conspiracy theories. All we have to offer is the Who Killed Diana version, which isn't in the same league. We apologise for our deficiencies in this area and resolve to do better in future. In fact we have JK Rowling working on it as we speak - we hope.
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.(Lana Turner)

  11. #71
    Elite Member aabbcc's Avatar
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    You can buy veggie suet. If you're in the UK, Tesco's has it in a green box with "suitable for vegetarians" written on the front. All it is is grated shortening. And, as was mentioned, you can just use block shortening like Crisco and grate it yourself ... freezing it beforehand makes the job easier.

  12. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy View Post
    Gordon Ramses! Chef/porn star!

    Oh shit

  13. #73
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    Veggie suet = veggie birds? How do you tell? Do you just fly up to one and ask politely??

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    Quote Originally Posted by penname View Post
    OK, I give in. You guys are hysterical - and Peach, I bow to your sense of humour. I shall commend you to Monty Python.

    In the meantime, we would like to apologise unreservedly for Vick the Stick. Clearly you don't get the joke. However, if you intend to return her, you must also return The Package - otherwise known as David. *pauses to lick lips*

    You guys have the best conspiracy theories. All we have to offer is the Who Killed Diana version, which isn't in the same league. We apologise for our deficiencies in this area and resolve to do better in future. In fact we have JK Rowling working on it as we speak - we hope.
    penname - thats it! Sonny had the Holy Graille and that evil plagiarist Dan Brown was trying to get it from him when.. twack right into the tree. Sonny having never met Dan thought his name was Dick Brown and when the police came Sonny said with his dying breath.... ughhh I think I "spotted Dick"....... oh gosh that was so bad I've just lost my rights to watch Comedy Central. chortle chortle

    I haven't figured out David yet.. does he talk? Everytime he goes to talk she answers for him, I think she's a puppet master. However I like my men quiet - gagged if need be, duct tape works well. Make sure they swallow the viagra before applying the duct tape though.

    You know I haven't forgiven you all for the civil war. Thats right, the civil war. You were supposed to help the south, we had our own president and all. You bought our cotton and we were going to form our own country and you were going to help - then you bailed on us (get it bail - cotton bail) and got your cotton somewhere else and said something like "sorry about your luck chump". I'm just saying.. tea, Gordon Ramsay, leaky condoms, spotted dicks, civil war and I'm sure those twenty pounds I gained this year was your fault too.

    Spotted Dick? Why don't ya'll eat some good stuff like pecan pie, or hush puppies, or catfish stew, or cornpone, or grits smothered in butter and cheese. yummy.

    twitchyThe dick is over your head? You're Kneeling, aren't you?

    and you thought you were going to get away with that one? Oh heck no, that was funny and worthy of at least one can of Spotted Dick. Note - penname owes you a can of spotted dick.

  15. #75
    Bronze Member Ava'sGhost's Avatar
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    Why don't ya'll eat some good stuff like pecan pie, or hush puppies, or catfish stew, or cornpone, or grits smothered in butter and cheese. yummy. ---------GaPeach

    Crap, now you're making me want to go back home and eat some real food, catfish, hot water corn bread, sweet potato pie, real fried chicken, biscuits...
    ribs, ribs, and more ribs: potato salad, yellow watermelon, white bread and gravy to die for..........

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