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Thread: Ellen Page comes out as transgender, will be called Elliot

  1. #16
    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    That's so harsh. The gatekeeping. An entire community that knows the hurt of being marginalized, ostracized as "other." Doing that within themselves.

    It makes it even more difficult to really understand from an outside perspective. Honestly, it's confusing to wrap my mind around.
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  2. #17
    Elite Member Froogy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beeyotch View Post

    It makes it even more difficult to really understand from an outside perspective. Honestly, it's confusing to wrap my mind around.
    I want to be respectful, but it is hard for me to understand. If Ellen, as I've always known her and as a lesbian, is now a male, is he (Elliot) now a straight man being married to a woman?

    I hope my question doesnt sound ignorant, but this is hard for me to understand.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Froogy View Post
    I want to be respectful, but it is hard for me to understand. If Ellen, as I've always known her and as a lesbian, is now a male, is he (Elliot) now a straight man being married to a woman?

    I hope my question doesnt sound ignorant, but this is hard for me to understand.
    I don't think you sound ignorant. You're trying to understand.

    I had no idea that there were issues with who can identify as a lesbian. I think it's good to ask questions. I have them too -- I want to be an ally and not make missteps.
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  4. #19
    Elite Member Chalet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MohandasKGanja View Post
    Is this the first time that an established actor has come out as trans? I can't think of anyone else off the top of my head.
    Mo's crushing on a dude for the first time. Teasing. I'll be serious in my answer below. Chaz is an actor.


    Quote Originally Posted by ConstanceSpry View Post
    This is kind of difficult to decipher and interesting to think about. If EP is a lesbian but has gender reassignment surgery, then he will be a heterosexual male? And if EP identifies as Elliott without surgery, is EP still a lesbian?
    This is just like Chaz Bono from what I can tell. Chastity comes out as a lesbian, then comes out as Trans, has his name legally changed and then announces top surgery. I'm not sure of the exact order post trans announcement. Somebody correct me, but I'd say Chaz is a straight trans man. He has relationships with women only. He was in a long term relationship with a lesbian when he was a lesbian, but when was going through his trans journey, they broke up. Chaz said the woman didn't want to be in a relationship with a man and Chaz said that all the male hormones were doing a number on him. He became angry and aggressive, not what she signed up for.

    So again, will love conquer all? Did Elliot's partner know during their relationship and prior to their marriage that there might be a gender change? Chaz's girlfriend didn't know because Chaz didn't know. Took him years of therapy to figure out why he never felt right with himself.

  5. #20
    Elite Member ConstanceSpry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chalet View Post
    Mo's crushing on a dude for the first time. Teasing. I'll be serious in my answer below. Chaz is an actor.




    This is just like Chaz Bono from what I can tell. Chastity comes out as a lesbian, then comes out as Trans, has his name legally changed and then announces top surgery. I'm not sure of the exact order post trans announcement. Somebody correct me, but I'd say Chaz is a straight trans man. He has relationships with women only. He was in a long term relationship with a lesbian when he was a lesbian, but when was going through his trans journey, they broke up. Chaz said the woman didn't want to be in a relationship with a man and Chaz said that all the male hormones were doing a number on him. He became angry and aggressive, not what she signed up for.

    So again, will love conquer all? Did Elliot's partner know during their relationship and prior to their marriage that there might be a gender change? Chaz's girlfriend didn't know because Chaz didn't know. Took him years of therapy to figure out why he never felt right with himself.
    Yes, that's another aspect I didn't think about. If one partner from a lesbian couple becomes a man, or one partner from a gay couple a woman, the other one will likely no longer be interested. Also still laughing about the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode with Chaz Bono's huge penis.

    I am ooooold and when I grew up the accepted fact was that genitalia determines gender. So male genitalia = man, female genitalia = woman, both = hermaphrodite. Then there was the old "sexual preference" chestnut, which is, of course, BS because sexuality is not a preference unless one is Bi. It's a whole new world now and a bit confusing for those of us who don't want to step on any toes.
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    Elite Member NickiDrea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Froogy View Post
    I want to be respectful, but it is hard for me to understand. If Ellen, as I've always known her and as a lesbian, is now a male, is he (Elliot) now a straight man being married to a woman?

    I hope my question doesnt sound ignorant, but this is hard for me to understand.
    Now he is a straight man married to a woman. His wife might now identify as bisexual, pansexual, or even still as a lesbian.
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    Quote Originally Posted by NickiDrea View Post
    Now he is a straight man married to a woman. His wife might now identify as bisexual, pansexual, or even still as a lesbian.
    But he says he's queer.
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  8. #23
    Elite Member Chalet's Avatar
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    ^^ Then I don't know what the definition of queer is anymore. Men who I've known who are in their 70's and early 80's referred to themselves as queer when they came out in their late teens and early 20's. Queer was a word for identification the same way some created a specific speech pattern to identify themselves from straight men. In fact, they used fag, queer, mo, she, mary when in their own company.

    My friends as mature men use gay and straight.

    This video explain that queer has a wider range than it did before.

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  9. #24
    Elite Member NickiDrea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tulip View Post
    But he says he's queer.
    He identifies as a male, chose a male name, and is using male pronouns (or using they), so I would think that at least legally they are now a straight couple? I know that a lot of trans people identify as queer but the trans people I know who identify as queer still say they are straight post-transition?
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    Elite Member Witchywoman's Avatar
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    So my first thought was she originally was a guy to girl. This seemed to explain her personality to me. So now she's resembling Justin Beiber. She seems happy so that's awesome.

  11. #26
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chalet View Post
    This is just like Chaz Bono from what I can tell. Chastity comes out as a lesbian, then comes out as Trans, has his name legally changed and then announces top surgery. I'm not sure of the exact order post trans announcement. Somebody correct me, but I'd say Chaz is a straight trans man. He has relationships with women only. He was in a long term relationship with a lesbian when he was a lesbian, but when was going through his trans journey, they broke up. Chaz said the woman didn't want to be in a relationship with a man and Chaz said that all the male hormones were doing a number on him. He became angry and aggressive, not what she signed up for.

    So again, will love conquer all? Did Elliot's partner know during their relationship and prior to their marriage that there might be a gender change? Chaz's girlfriend didn't know because Chaz didn't know. Took him years of therapy to figure out why he never felt right with himself.
    I think of Chaz as a celebrity more than an actor. Which is why I had the question about Page. My daughter brought up the news when both of us were hammering away at our laptops. I asked her, "What if you are in the middle of a series playing a female character, and now you identify as male, what are you going to do?" And she replied, "Yeah, Elliot Page is playing Vanya on 'Umbrella Academy'. I'm not sure how that is going to be handled."
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    Elite Member Novice's Avatar
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    This is why labels are so difficult.
    Elliot is a human being that loves his spouse, who is supporting him.
    Isn't love a beautiful thing?

  13. #28
    Elite Member Trixie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chalet View Post
    This is just like Chaz Bono from what I can tell. Chastity comes out as a lesbian, then comes out as Trans, has his name legally changed and then announces top surgery. I'm not sure of the exact order post trans announcement. Somebody correct me, but I'd say Chaz is a straight trans man. He has relationships with women only. He was in a long term relationship with a lesbian when he was a lesbian, but when was going through his trans journey, they broke up. Chaz said the woman didn't want to be in a relationship with a man and Chaz said that all the male hormones were doing a number on him. He became angry and aggressive, not what she signed up for.

    So again, will love conquer all? Did Elliot's partner know during their relationship and prior to their marriage that there might be a gender change? Chaz's girlfriend didn't know because Chaz didn't know. Took him years of therapy to figure out why he never felt right with himself.
    I thought of Chaz as well. As a straight female, I don't claim to understand, or relate, but I'm thinking it's a process. So you're a woman, and you find that you're attracted to women, so ok, you're a lesbian. So you seek out same sex relationships, but in your core, that really doesn't feel right either. From what I know about trans people, some know from a very young age that they're "trapped in the wrong body" so to speak. For others, it takes a lot longer to figure out. Look at Caitlyn Jenner. A lifetime of denial and honestly I'm still not sure if she's sure. As for Elliot, I hope his partner is supportive, but it might end up like Chaz and his girlfriend. She signed up for a lesbian relationship because she's a lesbian. Maybe some people can love the person regardless but changing your gender is, well, a pretty big deal.
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  14. #29
    Elite Member faithanne's Avatar
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    A friend of mine came out as lesbian in her 30s and at first she only dated very masculine women, and thought that was her preference (she said that happens to a fair few women when they first come out). She was in a reasonably serious relationship with a woman who started to transition, and they broke up because my friend wasn't interested in being with a man again. It was very tough on both of them.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Novice View Post
    This is why labels are so difficult.
    Elliot is a human being that loves his spouse, who is supporting him.
    Isn't love a beautiful thing?
    I agree. Bottom line, he's happy. He understands and is comfortable with himself.

    But... he labelled himself publicly and these labels are confusing to many. In the end, it doesn't really matter, but I would like to understand.
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