Cynthia Nixon's girlfriend cleans up well for public appearances

**Aella** · April 14th, 2008, 03:13 PM

Originally Posted by olivia720

She does look like a very friendly person. What I don't get is how people can "turn" lesbian later in life. Or were they just denying all along? Cynthia has a history of dating men, right?

One of my mum's best friends discovered she was gay in her early thirties, after one marriage and a LOT of relationships/sexual encounters with men. According to her, she used to enjoy the sex with the guys.

25+ years later, and she's still a lesbian.

Who knows? Human sexuality is so hard to classify and explain anyway. Maybe women generally discover they're gay because they're influenced more by parental/societal/social pressure to conform to the heteronormative, reproductive 'ideal'.

**sputnik** · April 14th, 2008, 03:57 PM

Originally Posted by aabbcc

That statement is all kinds of false.

While it is true that there are butch and femme lesbians, there is also the group that is your regular everyday woman, not overly masculine or girly-girl. I happen to be one of them.

yup. just like gay men aren't all 'bears' or 'queens'. most of the gays i know fall in the regular guy category or slightly metro.
which i think is what manx was trying to say in responding to the other poster. i don't think she meant that all lesbians are either butch or femme.

**Rianam** · April 14th, 2008, 06:02 PM

Originally Posted by olivia720

What I don't get is how people can "turn" lesbian later in life. Or were they just denying all along? Cynthia has a history of dating men, right?

Lots of women just give in to the pressures of society to marry, have children. Some are in denial and to some, being with a man is tolerable just plain easier.

I had a long history of dating men and have even been engaged a couple of times, but at 32 years old, I knew what I really wanted was to be with women and have been ever since.

(And I am feminine and wear lipstick and there is nothing fake about my lesbianism

)

**Sarzy** · April 14th, 2008, 06:13 PM

Originally Posted by Aella

One of my mum's best friends discovered she was gay in her early thirties, after one marriage and a LOT of relationships/sexual encounters with men. According to her, she used to enjoy the sex with the guys.

25+ years later, and she's still a lesbian.

Who knows? Human sexuality is so hard to classify and explain anyway. Maybe women generally discover they're gay because they're influenced more by parental/societal/social pressure to conform to the heteronormative, reproductive 'ideal'.

I'd have thought if a woman genuinely enjoyed sex with men and then decided to be with women, then she'd probably be classed as bisexual. Just my thoughts anyway. I agree that some women hide their sexuality due to pressure to live up to the 'ideal' hetero family life, marriage, kids etc. It's a shame people are still made to feel like being gay is not normal and something to hide.

**Aella** · April 14th, 2008, 06:20 PM

^Actually, people usually chose their own 'labels'. As they should be able to.

I went to Uni with a girl that was in a relationship with a guy at the time, yet still identified as lesbian.

**Sarzy** · April 14th, 2008, 06:30 PM

Originally Posted by Aella

^Actually, people usually chose their own 'labels'. As they should be able to.

I agree. I didn't quite word that part of my post correctly! I just meant when people wonder why some women are with men then women it's always possible they are bisexual, they don't have to be either straight or gay.