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Thread: Claire Danes on Billy Crudup leaving pregnant wife for her

  1. #46
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    If there are children involved and your spouse arbitraily cuts you off sexually, I think then that its okay to cheat. However I wouldn't even call that cheating.

  2. #47
    czb
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    with those conditions, how long are you talking about? being cut off for a week? 3 months?

    *confused*
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  3. #48
    Elite Member Belt Up's Avatar
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    Castration?
    Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

  4. #49
    Elite Member NoNoRehab's Avatar
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    It would've been very simple for her to say, "You know, I was young, in my early twenties, and like most people that age I thought I knew everything. I thought I was in love and I thought his other relationship was his problem, not mine. I was dumb to think that being the 'other woman' made me special. It was shitty of me but now that I'm older and a mother myself, I just cringe when I think about the pain our relationship caused another person at what should've been the most special time of her life."
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  5. #50
    czb
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    well, obviously she doesn't feel that way.

    she sounds like a tool and has no remorse. i appreciate her candor. she didn't whitewash it just to make it palatable to us.
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  6. #51
    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    Anything expressing the ability to empathize with someone you caused pain is what any decent person, male or female, would do. So I don't consider this a feminist issue.
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  7. #52
    Elite Member ConstanceSpry's Avatar
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    Not going to judge, too many variables. Maybe the relationship was bad and he didn't want kids and she got knocked up on purpose to try for a band-aid baby. Or maybe the pregnancy made the relationship worse, or caused it to deteriorate. Or maybe he is indeed an asshole. Who knows, only they do and MLP has been really quiet about this (afaik, I may be wrong) so she apparently doesn't want to throw stones.
    'I had to get rid of the kid. The cat was allergic.'

  8. #53
    Elite Member BITTER's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by czb View Post
    well, obviously she doesn't feel that way.

    she sounds like a tool and has no remorse. i appreciate her candor. she didn't whitewash it just to make it palatable to us.
    I bet she's got large feet.
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  9. #54
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beeyotch View Post
    Anything expressing the ability to empathize with someone you caused pain is what any decent person, male or female, would do. So I don't consider this a feminist issue.
    It's a feminist issue because only 'the other woman' is ever questioned and made to feel guilty when she's not even the one that bears the largest part of the responsibility. And when it's a male 'home wrecker' - like Russell Crowe - then the blame is put on the (female) cheating spouse. No one is saying Danes is the poster child for ethical behaviour. All I'm saying is that I'll join in the universal condemnation of her character when men are put under the same amount of scrutiny and subjected to the same mob anger for similar and worse behaviour. But they never are, and the worst part is that it's always women perpetuating the double standard.
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  10. #55
    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    It's a generalized argument, and this thread we're talking about this interview with her. If it had been an interview with Crudup giving similar remarks, we'd be calling him a homewrecking asshole. The fact that men aren't interviewed about this shit is something else, I won't argue that. But when it comes up, this argument just comes off as defending indefensible behavior.

  11. #56
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    ^^^^
    that's the whole point, it always comes up with regard to the women because no one asks the men, they get to get on with their lives without dragging a cheating scandal with them wherever they go, even after a decade has gone by and everyone involved has moved on. Where are the interviewers asking Russell Crowe about his role in breaking up Meg Ryan's marriage a decade later? Why doesn't Ahnuld get hounded by journalists asking about his illegitimate kid with the maid? More than ten years later, people make the whole angie-brad-aniston triangle about angie and aniston and Pitt is almost an afterthought. ben Affleck fucked the nanny and the cover stories were about the nanny and about Garner, not about Ben cheating.

    That doesn't bother you? That doesn't strike you as wrong?
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  12. #57
    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    Yes it's unfair. But I'm not the media shaping the discourse, and it's about celebs, so no it doesn't bother me so much.
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  13. #58
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    I disagree. Blaming the media is a cop out. The media shapes the discourse according to what the public wants, what the public reads and responds to. And unfortunately the public is the one driving this double standard.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

  14. #59
    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    Please. So we're supposed to call Howard Stern or write our tabloids and demand equal coverage for male cheaters? How are we to change "the public's" responses and demand?

  15. #60
    czb
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    Quote Originally Posted by sputnik View Post
    ...ben Affleck fucked the nanny and the cover stories were about the nanny and about Garner, not about Ben cheating.
    ....
    i dunno, i agreed with most of what you were saying until you got to affleck. i saw most of the blame on ben and his issues. and of course, the nanny being a mediawhore.

    i do like bitter's reasoning, though it's all about foot size.

    but seriously, about billy crudup. i don't remember ever hearing billy or MLP saying anything. i do remember the media ragging on billy. and i'm not sure why meg ryan got chastised and russell crowe did not. i agree with what you (sput) are saying In General but not sure it applies to this case or every case. certainly i don't see it in my little blip of the world but i live in a bubble. both figuratively and literally.
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