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Thread: Chrissie Hynde Under Fire for Rape Remarks

  1. #61
    Elite Member Novice's Avatar
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    Hitching a ride to anywhere with a backpatch biker gang shows a lack of common sense, drunk or sober.
    Yeah, I know some that have treated my like a princess and there are others that I would not be alone with in a crowded room.
    witchcurlgirl and Kittylady like this.

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    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Novice View Post

    For the record, I hated chinatown anyway but (for example) Tess is forever tainted for me by his behaviour; O e reason being that I refuse to put any $ in his pocket.
    I refuse to watch any Polanski films because I cannot and will not separate his apparent 'genius' with the fact that he raped a young girl and won't support him in any way at all by watching anything by him.

    Quote Originally Posted by Novice View Post
    Hitching a ride to anywhere with a backpatch biker gang shows a lack of common sense, drunk or sober.
    Yeah, I know some that have treated my like a princess and there are others that I would not be alone with in a crowded room.
    I found that the bigger and more established the club the less likely I was to be hassled (I found the smaller the club the more they are out to make a name for themselves as so-called bad asses). As soon as I made it clear I wasn't a 'mama' I was usually treated with respect. I still wouldn't have gone anywhere with any of them though.
    I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. Hunter S Thompson

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  3. #63
    Elite Member Novice's Avatar
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    Yeah, ut there is one particular one that is v big & I will leave a venue if they are there... Just sayin' and i think that you know which one I mean...
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  4. #64
    Elite Member llamamama's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Novice View Post
    Hitching a ride to anywhere with a backpatch biker gang shows a lack of common sense, drunk or sober.
    Yeah, I know some that have treated my like a princess and there are others that I would not be alone with in a crowded room.
    That's the thing about being drunk. Your decision making process is all f'd up. I can imagine myself in her shoes, wasted, thinking, "Well,these guys look like a fun respectable bunch, maybe I'll tag along with them."

  5. #65
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    I've been drunk & have never thought that the 1% look "fun respectable bunch".
    In fact even when totally arseholed, I have still got home safely, even when I have done pills & booze & lost 3 hours of the night, I was still sane enough to turn down/leave/get the flock out of there when the cute 1%er that my fried knew & vouced for as "a nice bloke" (despite her admitting later that he was not particularly sane when it came to the contraband they ran), I STILL left, got a taxi & went home without saying goodbye to him, giving him my phone number, passing go or collecting 200.
    I knew I had choices & my personal safety trumped having a shag with the (very) sexy biker +/- any number of the rest of the chapter.
    Go figure.
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  6. #66
    Super Moderator Tati's Avatar
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    The dress argument is just patently ridiculous, and diminishes both men and women - the fact is, if men can "control themselves" on the fucking beach surrounded by bikini-clad women, they can bloody well control themselves in the face of a miniskirt. "Dressing like a slut", whatever that means, is a complete non-starter and total bullshit.

    The "drunk/guard down" argument at least addresses the fact that some rapists are just plain opportunists who will press any advantage they see. It still doesn't make it any victim's fault when she or he is attacked (I know I'm preaching to the choir here), and the fact of the matter is that anyone should be able to get a nice buzz on any time they want to (with some obvious exceptions) without fear of being assaulted.
    If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.

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    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    Perfectly said Tati.
    if you're so incensed that you can't fly your penis in public take it up with your state, arrange a nude protest, go and be the rosa parks of cocks or something - witchcurlgirl

  8. #68
    Elite Member llamamama's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tati View Post
    and the fact of the matter is that anyone should be able to get a nice buzz on any time they want to (with some obvious exceptions) without fear of being assaulted.
    I agree with this, in the perfect world, but it's not the case. I had a boyfriend once who was sexually assaulted by two guys that picked him up off the side of the road when he was drunk. It wasn't his fault obviously, but if he wasn't drunk, he wouldn't have been stumbling on the side of the road and wouldn't have gotten in the car.
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    Quote Originally Posted by llamamama View Post
    I agree with this, in the perfect world, but it's not the case. I had a boyfriend once who was sexually assaulted by two guys that picked him up off the side of the road when he was drunk. It wasn't his fault obviously, but if he wasn't drunk, he wouldn't have been stumbling on the side of the road and wouldn't have gotten in the car.
    I'm terrifically sorry your former boyfriend was sexually assaulted--it is a horrible, horrible experience for any one to be subjected to and endure.

    But the fact of the matter is... he could have stayed at the bar and gotten one drink drunker, and wouldn't have been on that stumbling down that part of the road at exactly the time his rapists went by... or he could have been cold-stone sober and pulled over to change a flat when his rapists decided to rape him... or his rapists could have come upon him, stumbling drunk, and helped him or drove the fuck right on by.

    He was raped because a couple of rapists decided to rape him because, well, they are rapists. And that's what rapists do.

  10. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by flummoxed View Post
    wouldn't have been on that stumbling down that part
    By which I meant... wouldn't have been stumbling down that part...

    Sorry. Proofreading is not my first language. :/

  11. #71
    Elite Member llamamama's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by flummoxed View Post
    I'm terrifically sorry your former boyfriend was sexually assaulted--it is a horrible, horrible experience for any one to be subjected to and endure.

    But the fact of the matter is... he could have stayed at the bar and gotten one drink drunker, and wouldn't have been on that stumbling down that part of the road at exactly the time his rapists went by... or he could have been cold-stone sober and pulled over to change a flat when his rapists decided to rape him... or his rapists could have come upon him, stumbling drunk, and helped him or drove the fuck right on by.

    He was raped because a couple of rapists decided to rape him because, well, they are rapists. And that's what rapists do.
    Rapists are opportunists. If they are driving down the road looking for somebody to rape, they will target the stumbling drunk person, over the one changing their tire (they might hit them with a tire iron) or a stone cold sober one (they might fight back).

    I understand what you mean by being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but rapists target drunk people way more often than they target stone cold sober people. They are easier to rape. I don't live my life the way you are describing, yes I can walk into the middle of the road without looking both ways, and if I'm meant to live, then I will be walking at the exact right moment that no cars or trucks will hit me. I still look both ways.
    Last edited by llamamama; September 4th, 2015 at 02:37 PM.
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  12. #72
    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Novice View Post
    Yeah, ut there is one particular one that is v big & I will leave a venue if they are there... Just sayin' and i think that you know which one I mean...
    Yep. Which is why I never went to the Bulldog. I've heard too many stories of people being had off of personal belongings or even their bike by some of the "in house security".

    One thing I always looked for in the event listings in BSH was "no backpatches".
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  13. #73
    Super Moderator Tati's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by llamamama View Post
    Rapists are opportunists. If they are driving down the road looking for somebody to rape, they will target the stumbling drunk person, over the one changing their tire (they might hit them with a tire iron) or a stone cold sober one (they might fight back).

    I understand what you mean by being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but rapists target drunk people way more often than they target stone cold sober people. They are easier to rape. I don't live my life the way you are describing, yes I can walk into the middle of the road without looking both ways, and if I'm meant to live, then I will be walking at the exact right moment that no cars or trucks will hit me. I still look both ways.
    You're absolutely right; I just personally feel it's important to keep emphasizing both parts of the conversation. "Yes, we can and should do these things to try to protect our personal safety, it just makes sense; but you know, it really sucks that we have to because really, the fault always lies with the perpetrator, and people should really be free to live their lives without threat of violence."

    It absolutely makes sense that we, as women, remind ourselves of the steps we can take to try to protect ourselves but I feel it simply can't be emphasized enough that rape is the fault of rapists and that the main form of preventing rape falls on perpetrators... to, you know, NOT RAPE. For me the dialogue is important because it shapes and informs our broader culture and because it really is the perpetrators (and other men who may be in a position to either enable or prevent) who need to be reached. We can tell women (and men) to "do this, don't do this" all day long if they don't want to be victimized, but any one of us could just be plainly fucked in that regard at any point. Not so if we actually get through to the perpetrators of violence though, and stop rape in its tracks.

    This is why I think newer movements like The Good Men Project, He for She, and hell, even BroTips have a significant role to play in changing our social mores around rape culture, because they comprise men reaching out to other men to change the dialogue. There will always be a few psychopaths out there but I believe that a lot of "date rape" and the worst of frat boy culture can actually be eliminated with the right tools and shift in mindset.
    If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.

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  14. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tati View Post
    The dress argument is just patently ridiculous, and diminishes both men and women - the fact is, if men can "control themselves" on the fucking beach surrounded by bikini-clad women, they can bloody well control themselves in the face of a miniskirt. "Dressing like a slut", whatever that means, is a complete non-starter and total bullshit.

    The "drunk/guard down" argument at least addresses the fact that some rapists are just plain opportunists who will press any advantage they see. It still doesn't make it any victim's fault when she or he is attacked (I know I'm preaching to the choir here), and the fact of the matter is that anyone should be able to get a nice buzz on any time they want to (with some obvious exceptions) without fear of being assaulted.
    Yeah exactly. It's like a chicken and egg argument. Society has previously (and still now unfortunately) thought that certain behaviours or dress or locations of WOMEN were the cause of men "losing control" and raping them, and then blamed them for it (were you drinking? Why were you wearing that? Why were you out so late? What were you doing there? blah blah). So rapists who WANT to rape women and get away with it already know the society "cheat sheet" of when they can rape women and they know it's highly likely that society will not hold them responsible, but will instead re-victimize the woman. Fortunately this attitude is changing somewhat, with the campaigns already mentioned as well as the "that guy" campaign: The Violence Stops Here.

    There are parts of the Internet (MRA's, Redpillers) etc.. who are against any attempts to change these societal "cheat sheets" especially around the acceptability of impairing or isolating women in order to "get" sex from them, because they feel it's a legitimate "strategy" to "get sex" from women. So to idiots like them, it's not rape because to them, rape has to only fit a certain narrow criteria in which no possible blame could be shifted to the woman (eg. the stranger jumping out of the bushes type scenario).

    While I understand the obvious idea behind protecting yourself, I have a knee-jerk reaction to stupid suggestions like that, because USUALLY the ones I see making such "suggestions" are men who are telling women how to "avoid" being raped, and these type of men are the first ones to jump up and "nitpick" any sexual assault "stories" in order to find out how exactly the woman was at fault. To me, it's an obvious attempt to shift the responsibility of rape onto women and not for us to advance as a society to where rapists aren't tolerated, excused, or joked about.
    Tati, faithanne, Kittylady and 1 others like this.

  15. #75
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janus View Post
    There are parts of the Internet (MRA's, Redpillers) etc..
    I remember first discovering these wankers. I was on Reddit and made a perfectly innocuous comment and got called a 'feminazi' in response. I checked out the guy's other posts and had never seen so much bitterness and hatred. One woman, some time in his life, slighted him, so now ALL women are evil. I find the overlap with the PUA community interesting. These guys hate women, yet still want one. However, they don't want an actual person, more along the lines of a sex robot that can cook and has no opinions of its own.
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    "But I am very poorly today & very stupid & I hate everybody & everything." -- Charles Darwin

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