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Thread: Chrissie Hynde Under Fire for Rape Remarks

  1. #46
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    How can you be wrong or 'wrong' about your own experience? Discuss!
    I have some famous friends and I have mostly not famous friends.

  2. #47
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    "this was all my doing and I take full responsibility,"

    wrong

    How can you be right about that? Justify!
    "But I am very poorly today & very stupid & I hate everybody & everything." -- Charles Darwin

  3. #48
    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    Yeah Chrissie wasn't saying I didn't protect myself adequately and then some fucking monsters took advantage of me. She's saying she takes FULL responsibility. That's something beyond let's all be safe.
    Novice, greysfang, czb and 4 others like this.
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  4. #49
    Elite Member Novice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by faithanne View Post
    But (in an ideal world) a girl should be able to drink as much as a guy. You don't hear too many young men being told not to drink and pass out because if they get bashed/robbed/thrown out of a moving vehicle they must have made themselves a target. My issue is the focus seems to be on telling girls how to minimise harm to themselves when the real message should be to men - DON'T RAPE WOMEN!
    I agree.

    And what about those sober 80 yo grannies? In their provocative sexy shapeless cardigans, shamelessly flaunting themselves with their support hose & sexy fuck-me-button-up slippers? They really need to stopbei˝g so obvious!!!
    How do you tell someone like that to stop provoking men into rape instead of telling men not to rape?


    Once again, the focus is on the young women who are raped, not the old, not the men, not the mentally handicaped, not the teenagers is group-homes, etc, as obviously all of these victims are also "asking for it"!


    For the record, I hated chinatown anyway but (for example) Tess is forever tainted for me by his behaviour; O e reason being that I refuse to put any $ in his pocket.

  5. #50
    Gold Member Lalasnake's Avatar
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    The problem with the defensive thinking approach is that women in situations in which they "should think defensively" are actually much safer than men. A stranger is much less likely to attack, mug, or rape a woman. She is much more likely to be raped by someone she knows and even trusts, and is much more likely to be in a situation in which it would never occur to any of us to "think defensively". Not to mention that when you're drinking you are much less able to "think defensively" and be aware of the behavior of the people with whom you're interacting.

    I like the idea to focus on educating boys and girls to be aware of predatory behavior and put a stop to it when they see it. From the Yes Means Yes blog:

    In other words, look for the tactics and interrupt the routine. Spot the rapist deliberately getting the woman drunk or angling to get the drunk woman alone in an unfamiliar place, and intervene. A guy offering a drunk woman a ride home may just be offering a ride, but if he is insistent when someone else offers a ride, this ought to raise a flag.In the last post on Lisak’s work I said that men need to listen, and to change the culture to take away the rapists’ social license to operate. I wrote there about the language of supportive attitudes that tell the rapist he will be coddled and trusted and his victim will be rejected, interrogated and disbelieved. But there’s more, and more concrete, work to be done. Bystanders can look for the pattern and interfere with the pattern. If a guy is antagonistic towards women and places a lot of emphasis on sex as scoring or conquest, and he’s violating a woman’s boundaries and trying to end up with her drunk and alone, we don’t have to be sure what he’s doing to be concerned, and to start trying to give her exit ramps from his predatory slide.
    Get in the middle, get in the way, and block the stalk. It’s concrete and it’s doable. It doesn’t take a hero. It takes a human.
    Tati, anad, Kittylady and 1 others like this.

  6. #51
    Elite Member Novice's Avatar
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    Burkas for every one!!! Lets abdicate the rapists of responaivtity

  7. #52
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Why not just teach our boys to not rape? I sure as hell worked on that one.
    faithanne, Lalasnake, Brah and 3 others like this.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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  8. #53
    Gold Member Lalasnake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greysfang View Post
    Why not just teach our boys to not rape? I sure as hell worked on that one.
    Teach our boys and girls to respect the bodily autonomy of other people, and also teach them to enforce that respect of others.
    anad likes this.

  9. #54
    Elite Member SHELLEE's Avatar
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    Sometimes it's not the upbringing, it's just in them. I do believe that some people are born evil/bad. Have at it.
    See, Whores, we are good for something. Love, Florida
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  10. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by SHELLEE View Post
    Sometimes it's not the upbringing, it's just in them. I do believe that some people are born evil/bad. Have at it.
    Yes, but we are not talking about deviants who will kill/steal/rape regardless - those people will always exist. What we want is to change or maybe add to the dialogue surrounding rape/sexual harassment. For too long the onus has always been on women to be defensive and protect themselves. Things like "don't wear revealing clothes"; "don't stay out late"; "don't get drunk" are the sorts of thing that every women hear repeatedly growing up. Not to mention whenever the accusation of rape surfaces the first thing that people question is the woman's conduct and outfit as if these factors somehow negates her right to not be rape. Why are boys not told to "don't have sex with a drunk person"; "revealing clothes are not an invitation to be sexually assault" - hell, judging by the rape cases in the pass several years it seems like they are not even taught what constitutes consent. So while women should be vigilant and careful (we are not living in utopia after all), some shit needs to change.
    idunno, greysfang, czb and 3 others like this.

  11. #56
    Elite Member gas_chick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy2.0 View Post
    She isn't 'wrong'; she's wrong.
    But is she "wrong wrong"?
    I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."

  12. #57
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy2.0 View Post
    She isn't 'wrong'; she's wrong.
    Quote Originally Posted by CornFlakegrl View Post
    Yeah Chrissie wasn't saying I didn't protect myself adequately and then some fucking monsters took advantage of me. She's saying she takes FULL responsibility. That's something beyond let's all be safe.
    exactly.
    i feel bad telling a rape victim how she should feel about her experience but in this case i think she's wrong to take the blame for being raped. she's not. no one ever is. there's a difference between common sense and telling girls (and boys!) 'keep your wits about you and don't assume everyone out there is nice' and blaming victims or expecting them to take responsibility for getting assaulted. the first is common sense advice and it's not about preventing rape, it's about being generally smart and trying to minimise risk in general. i mean, you get drunk and stupid you can also end up getting your shit stolen or lose your friends and end up without a ride home or getting into a car with a drunk driver.

    at the same time, chrissie hynde is free to be as wrong as she wants and people need to stop expecting rock stars and celebrities to be role models and to always think/say the right things. people are fucked up, talent doesn't make that go away.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

  13. #58
    Elite Member llamamama's Avatar
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    I will teach my sons to not rape and I will also teach my daughter not to put herself in a dangerous situation (like hitching a ride to a party while drunk with a motorcycle gang). Because no matter how much education goes into teaching men not to rape, there will always be rapists. I was date raped a handful of times when I was blacked out drunk in my early 20s. I don't blame myself for the rapes one bit. The guys were drunk too, either I said no, or couldn't say anything. But making the decision to stop drinking 19 years ago was a lot more effective at preventing my own personal date rape (0 rapes since) than trying to convince a bunch of drunk guys to respect my body and that "No means no".

  14. #59
    Elite Member Air Quotes's Avatar
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    (like hitching a ride to a party while drunk with a motorcycle gang)
    You are like the most boring mom ever.
    "A true whore just loves her life." - Sluce

  15. #60
    Elite Member llamamama's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Air Quotes View Post
    You are like the most boring mom ever.
    This made me LOL!
    Air Quotes likes this.

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