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Thread: Bill Maher fat shaming needs to make a comeback

  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kittylady View Post
    ^^ Exactly. Skinny doesn't necessarily mean healthy. My psycho ex is really, really slim but he drinks, smokes and eats shite food until it's coming out of his ears and has never been known to exercise beyond ambling between pubs and food sources.

    On the other hand one of the carers who comes in to help with my stepdad is a larger lady. She eats healthy, spends 12+ hour shifts dashing between clients and doing a physically demanding job lifting, turning, washing and dressing people and yet she struggles to lose a pound.

    Everyone is different. There is no 'one size fits all'. Not everyone is designed to have the body of an Instagram model and for some people all the juicing, clean eating and living in the gym isn't going to transform them into something pleasing to Bill Maher's eye.
    That's how one of my sisters and me are. I'm heavy, but except for horrid migraines, I'm pretty darn healthy. She is thin, but has all sorts of medical conditions. When she lost a bunch of weight, she declared all her issues were gone, but after he body settled, everything kind of crept back again. Not all health conditions are tied to weight. I'm working very hard to love myself regardless of how I look. I've been told that skinny=good my whole life and I think that is one reason I struggle so. I yo-yo constantly. It's frustrating.

    I've been guilty of shaming -- we all have I think. This is a gossip board and we gossip plenty.
    Mivvi21, Kittylady, Angeli and 2 others like this.

  2. #17
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    My personal favourite: “where did your tits go?” It is faux concern, rude and it’s belittling.


    With all due respect, there is no “faux concern” in that statement, whomever said it was just being a spiteful arsehole.


    I think that we are all more aware of things when they are within our perview (ie I am sensitive to “fat-shaming” because I am fat).
    I feel that (generally) it is more socially acceptable to be slender/skinny/thin/etc than it is to be fat/obese/a-fattie-McFatfat/whatever but, you are right, any comment like this is a huge hit to self-esteem.

  3. #18
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    And, although he doesn't say it, this has a gender component.

    People just don't tend to fat shame men. Men can be well into the obese category and still get nodding approval and be referred to as a "big guy" in a complimentary fashion, whereas women are expected to be decorative. Nobody tells a guy to smile more or says he should dress a certain way more often because it looks good.
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  4. #19
    Elite Member ConstanceSpry's Avatar
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    I am disappointed in Bill Maher, I thought he knew better. Fat shaming and age shaming seem to be the two remaining socially acceptable bastions of ridicule. And they both seem to be mainly directed at women. Men are "cuddly" and women are "fat". And when it comes to age, men are "distinguished" and women are "old hags" who need PS. Sucks for those of us who are older and/or heavier.
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  5. #20
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    My thoughts:

    1. Bill Maher's stock in trade is to be a contrarian equal-opportunity offender. And he is looking for material for his show. And he has a history of dating Playboy models. It doesn't surprise me at all that his past behavior would lead him to come up with this particular routine/monologue.

    2. Maher also makes the fatal/egregious error of conflating the risks of obesity with our wacko gun loopholes. Those risks are not the same. A person who eats too much is a risk to themselves alone, and a drain on our health system. A fat person is not going to come into my workplace, local store, or kids' school, and bump off a bunch of people by virtue of being fat. Seriously lame analogy that fails on all levels. Not to mention the fact that Michelle Obama made healthy eating basically her cause for 8 years and was jeered wildly for it. Where was Maher when Obama was taking on that cause? Probably hitting on a starving model.

    3. While I have never been overweight in my life, I sympathize with people who have been. Being overweight is something that has numerous contributing factors - genetics, disease/injury, childhood, aging, emotional trauma, and (a big pet peeve of mine) the lack of health, inexpensive choices for food.

  6. #21
    Elite Member ManxMouse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy2.0 View Post
    And, although he doesn't say it, this has a gender component.

    People just don't tend to fat shame men. Men can be well into the obese category and still get nodding approval and be referred to as a "big guy" in a complimentary fashion, whereas women are expected to be decorative. Nobody tells a guy to smile more or says he should dress a certain way more often because it looks good.
    THIS. Maher has always been a misogynist, which I why I'll never pay attention to him even if he makes a good point here and there and is generally anti-right wing. He has total contempt for women and this rant-against-the-overweight shit fits within that context, in my opinion. Not to mention that we all should know by now there's a lot more to it than calories-in/calories-out, and cutting out junk food binges.
    Mivvi21, DawnM74 and weathered1 like this.
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  7. #22
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    I'm disappointed, very disappointed in Maher. Ever since the N-word incident.
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  8. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sleuth View Post
    I respectfully disagree. I have been “shamed” for being too skinny. I guess not to the same extent as a larger person but it does exist. I struggle to put on weight but I also lose weight when I’m stressed. It never feels nice to be told to eat a cheeseburger or to eat more when you are already full. Noone believes you because they assume you must have an eating disorder and are lying. My personal favourite: “where did your tits go?” It is faux concern, rude and it’s belittling.

    On this forum alone.. we have shamed Kate Middleton and many others for being too scrawny. Other than Gabourey Sidibe, I haven’t noticed that much fat shaming here. I’m sure there are others but it actually feels like it is more accepted to talk shit about skinny people (or twigs or not a real woman as some might say). Honestly, being shamed has been my motivation to work on my health but it is a huge hit to the self esteem no matter what size you are being shamed for. Not sure exactly where I was going with this but ermm Bill Mayer can fuck right off with his thoughtless comments.
    This. Just as people struggle with their weight, so do those with alcoholism, drug addiction, smoking, etc.
    DawnM74 likes this.

  9. #24
    Elite Member NickiDrea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sleuth View Post
    I respectfully disagree. I have been “shamed” for being too skinny. I guess not to the same extent as a larger person but it does exist. I struggle to put on weight but I also lose weight when I’m stressed. It never feels nice to be told to eat a cheeseburger or to eat more when you are already full. Noone believes you because they assume you must have an eating disorder and are lying. My personal favourite: “where did your tits go?” It is faux concern, rude and it’s belittling.

    On this forum alone.. we have shamed Kate Middleton and many others for being too scrawny. Other than Gabourey Sidibe, I haven’t noticed that much fat shaming here. I’m sure there are others but it actually feels like it is more accepted to talk shit about skinny people (or twigs or not a real woman as some might say). Honestly, being shamed has been my motivation to work on my health but it is a huge hit to the self esteem no matter what size you are being shamed for. Not sure exactly where I was going with this but ermm Bill Mayer can fuck right off with his thoughtless comments.
    Ok but here is the difference. I have talked about Kate Middleton’s weight. And other very thin celebrities are talked about too. But that’s because at one point most of them were a healthy weight and in a short time period dropped their weight to look skeletal. They are not only dropping large amounts of weight when they were already healthy, but you see changes in their skin tone, hair fullness and other indications that the weight loss was not natural or that isn’t their body weight. And even then the media holds them up as the pinnacle of attractiveness. When people GAIN weight, the comments are cruel and constant.

    I sympathize with thinner people feeling shamed, but it’s not really debatable that being thin, even unhealthily thin, is generally socially desirable and that even with some assholes making comments about thinness, it’s just not comparable to the hate or contempt that larger people get. And thinner people see themselves reflected everywhere. Not only reflected, but CELEBRATED. Look at the entire modeling industry or even the acting industry. Ask the average person if they’d rather be too thin or too fat and they will say too thin. And not because it’s “healthy” either.
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  10. #25
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    If you are a guy and thin, people will address your size in a way that is kind of emasculating. I remember finishing a 5K race with a bunch of Mrs Mo's coworkers (about 20 years ago) and one them saw a picture of me and referred to me sympathetically as "skinny Mo". Like "poor guy".... (Her husband was built like a brawling rugby player.)

    That was not the only time something like that happened, but I didn't feel loathsome or undesirable. I felt I had walked into some bizarro world where being lean and fit (and not anorexic or bulimic) was somehow a negative thing. That being said, being characterized that way does not carry the same baggage as being considered overweight - which people will associate with being lazy, unkempt, unhealthy, etc. However, the experience has made me empathetic toward people who are struggling with weight issues. I'll still say a skinny celeb should eat a cookie, though.

  11. #26
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    People asked my dad if he was ill when he was running marathons, he’s never been heavy but he must have been down to 3% body fat. He didn’t look good but he could run 26 miles in 3 hours 20 and he was in his mid-40s

  12. #27
    Elite Member Sleuth's Avatar
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    My brother is small for a guy and skinny like me. He eats a lot and runs marathons. He is usually the smallest guy on his Navy ship. The other guys use him to win bets against new crew mates because he can do more chin ups with weights on his legs and a weighted backpack than anyone else but the new guys always underestimate his strength. He’s a sure bet. Basically he’s a short skinny with the same mannerisms as Sheldon. My Nanna also had to shop in the kids section so I guess it is somewhat genetic but I’m sure he has it worse as a guy for the reasons the Mo stated.
    Kittylady and MohandasKGanja like this.
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    Does your brother have to keep eating lots? I remember when my ex had an upset stomach and didn't eat much for a few days and you could literally see him losing weight.
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  14. #29
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    I only heard part of his speech and I have to say, he was making some valid points on the healthcare and food industry issues in the USA that are linked to a higher rate of obesity compared to other Countries. There was some joke here and there that made me cringe, but overall he seemed to make sense.

    However, the moment he made that joke about fat-shaming needing to come back, he completely lost my attention and interest: bullying is always wrong. Shaming people doesn't help and it is also an horrible practice that horrible human beings like to apply to make themselves feel more important.
    Sleuth, Trixie, MsDark and 2 others like this.

  15. #30
    Elite Member Sleuth's Avatar
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    He has always been a big eater but I think he just eats a lot because he is so physically active. I imagine he would be much scrawnier if he ate normal amounts.
    Novice likes this.
    Alicia Silverstone: "I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."

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