Adrian Peterson indicted for child abuse

**fgg** · September 16th, 2014, 02:30 PM

Originally Posted by MohandasKGanja

Also, we had just gotten hold of a book called "1-2-3 Magic" which talks about disciplining your child with an escalating system of warnings, so that they can get an intuitive sense that their behavior is out of bounds. It worked so quickly I don't think we even read past chapter 2.

Originally Posted by chartreuse

1-2-3 magic saved my sanity at one time

cliff's notes, please!

**Charmed Hour** · September 16th, 2014, 03:03 PM

I was spanked as a kid, belt with buckle still on by my dad. My mother was a huge fan of using her house slippers or a plastic spatula. She once tossed a glass ashtray at me and it lodged in my knee. She told me it would have been my head but I was sitting in front of her china. I don't feel either of my parents went too far, expect once where my mother pulled my father off of me. He just totally lost his shit and snapped. I was the kid that laughed and said, "That didn't hurt", etc.

That being said, I grew up with a healthy amount of fear of/for my parents. Made my not so little ass think twice before I acted up, especially during my teen years. My sister, my father never touched her because in his words she was "small". He's 6'4" and she's barely 5 foot. She wild the fuck out as a teenager because she thought the only one to fear the beating from was my mom. She was wrong- major incident and my dad smacked the shit out of her very much deserved.

I don't feel I was ever abused by either of my parents. They did the best they could with the tools they had. Each came from abusive homes of their own, my father's physical and my mother's mental. Both saw their mothers beat regularly, both needing hospital treatment many times over. IMO, my parents overcame their childhoods to be wonderful, caring parents.

**MohandasKGanja** · September 16th, 2014, 03:12 PM

Originally Posted by fgg

cliff's notes, please!

Basically, you explain the system in advance to your child. So, they know what the deal is.

When your kids starts to act up, you go , "That's 1".

If they push things a little further, you go, "That's 2". And reiterate that one more is going to land them in their room/timeout.

If they get to three, then it's "That's 3" and send them to their room for a time that is appropriate for their age.

The book acknowledges that there are instances from your child that are so egregous that they immediately go to "3" and their room. For example, my 11 year old blurted out "What the f*ck?!" this Saturday and went immediately upstairs for a 30-minute time out.

**fgg** · September 16th, 2014, 03:14 PM

ok, got it. when did you start doing it? does it work for a (sassy) 3 year old?

**sputnik** · September 16th, 2014, 03:14 PM

Originally Posted by Charmed Hour

I was spanked as a kid, belt with buckle still on by my dad. My mother was a huge fan of using her house slippers or a plastic spatula. She once tossed a glass ashtray at me and it lodged in my knee. She told me it would have been my head but I was sitting in front of her china. I don't feel either of my parents went too far, expect once where my mother pulled my father off of me. He just totally lost his shit and snapped. I was the kid that laughed and said, "That didn't hurt", etc.

That being said, I grew up with a healthy amount of fear of/for my parents. Made my not so little ass think twice before I acted up, especially during my teen years. My sister, my father never touched her because in his words she was "small". He's 6'4" and she's barely 5 foot. She wild the fuck out as a teenager because she thought the only one to fear the beating from was my mom. She was wrong- major incident and my dad smacked the shit out of her very much deserved.

I don't feel I was ever abused by either of my parents. They did the best they could with the tools they had. Each came from abusive homes of their own, my father's physical and my mother's mental. Both saw their mothers beat regularly, both needing hospital treatment many times over. IMO, my parents overcame their childhoods to be wonderful, caring parents.

That's abuse. I'm sorry you had to go through that but you shouldn't justify it and say it was ok that your mother threw a glass ashtray at you or that she had to pull your father off you to stop him from hitting you. That's not a "healthy amount of fear".

**JadeStar70** · September 16th, 2014, 03:18 PM

I feel the same way, Charmed. My parents did the best they could with their backgrounds, education and tools at hand during that decade. I learned enough to change some things and keep others. I hope my girls go a few steps further when,and if, they are parents.

**MohandasKGanja** · September 16th, 2014, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by fgg

ok, got it. when did you start doing it? does it work for a (sassy) 3 year old?

From what I remember, that is almost exactly the time frame to start doing this.

**fgg** · September 16th, 2014, 03:24 PM

ok, i'm going to start trying it because this particular little guy says up when you say down, black vs white, etc. and just generally loves to push boundaries.

**Charmed Hour** · September 16th, 2014, 03:27 PM

Originally Posted by sputnik

That's abuse. I'm sorry you had to go through that but you shouldn't justify it and say it was ok that your mother threw a glass ashtray at you or that she had to pull your father off you to stop him from hitting you. That's not a "healthy amount of fear".

Sorry, I can't agree with you. Living my childhood from the inside I don't feel like I was abused- not in any way.

ETA: I'd like to clarify one point. The belt came out maybe twice a year. The belt went away and never came out again after it slipped and the buckle slashed me across the back. I took a lot of shit before either of my parents resorted to a spanking.

**witchcurlgirl** · September 16th, 2014, 04:52 PM

If I hit another adult with a belt that would be assault. Why isn't it assault if I do it to a kid? It's certainly abuse. I'm sorry for those of you that suffered abuse from your parents.

**sputnik** · September 16th, 2014, 05:00 PM

if my husband hit me but only did it once or twice a year, that would still be domestic abuse.

i think Jadestar makes an excellent point. our parents all come with their own baggage from the way they were raised, whether it's physical violence or something else. it's ok to acknowledge the ways in which your parents fucked up - even if they were just doing the best they could with their backgrounds, education and tools at hand - and then try not to perpetuate certain cycles.

my mom has 3 brothers. 2 of them gay. their father was homophobic and was a pretty shitty parent in general. that doesn't mean my mom and her siblings don't love their father but they're the first to admit that by today's standards, some of his parenting definitely fell into the abuse category. not so much physical - he wasn't a hitter - but his sons could never come out to him, or to anyone, not publicly anyway, at least not until after he died. he was often absent and when he wasn't, he was emotionally abusive in many ways and was a horrible husband who cheated on my grandmother throughout their entire marriage and was domineering and definitely fucked up his kids in a lot of ways.

**KrisNine** · September 16th, 2014, 05:54 PM

Originally Posted by witchcurlgirl

If I hit another adult with a belt that would be assault. Why isn't it assault if I do it to a kid? It's certainly abuse. I'm sorry for those of you that suffered abuse from your parents.

That's how I feel. If this Ray Rice character would have whipped his wife with a switch or a belt because he didn't like her behavior, would that be ok? If it's ok for our smallest and most vulnerable, why isn't ok for any situation? When does it stop being ok? When you move out? turn 18?

**mjw** · September 16th, 2014, 06:00 PM

Peterson cleared

5:05 PM PT -- Sources close to the investigation tell TMZ the reason the case went nowhere is because Adrian did NOT strike the boy in the forehead -- but instead the child accidentally hit his head on a carseat while Adrian was punishing him.

We're also told the form of discipline was "not impermissible." Under Texas law parents are allowed to administer reasonable punishment.

Peterson's attorney tells us an adult witness backed him up, saying Adrian "did nothing inappropriate with his son."

Read more: Adrian Peterson -- ANOTHER Child Abuse Investigation ... AP Cleared | TMZ.com

This was the second child abuse claim.

**witchcurlgirl** · September 16th, 2014, 06:10 PM

Under Texas law, lol. Don't they still have laws against sodomy in Texas?....I think it's time to update some of the laws.

I wonder if he knocked the kid's face into the car seat while he was hitting him.

**Kittylady** · September 16th, 2014, 06:13 PM

Originally Posted by MohandasKGanja

It was very, very easy to not spank my kids. For the main reason that they absolutely HATED being sent to their rooms -- you would think the rooms were spanking them.

Also, we had just gotten hold of a book called "1-2-3 Magic" which talks about disciplining your child with an escalating system of warnings, so that they can get an intuitive sense that their behavior is out of bounds. It worked so quickly I don't think we even read past chapter 2.

That's pretty much what we grew up with, except instead of being sent to our room we were spanked with a hand over clothes. Very, very rarely did we make it to 3. We still pushed it to 2 quite a bit though.