Actor Ioan Gruffudd’s wife, Alice Evans, tweets actor is ‘leaving his family’

[dexter7]

Well if she really is being gaslit and feels like she's losing her mind because she's got no control, I totally get it.

I imagine she feels that if she keeps it all in, she'd really go crazy. Sure, it looks bad to us on the outside but some people don't have support networks or coping skills to keep it discreet.

Also, I'm a fan of public shaming being a consequence of shitty behavior.

yeah see i think public shaming is mostly counterproductive except for like criminal behaviour or for hypocritical politicians, and this is where i differ with many fellow lefties in that i'm most definitely not a fan of call-out/cancel culture. it started off with good intentions and it's devolved into weirdness (not to mention, giving right-wingers an excuse for blanket dismissals of all criticism). i'm also really bothered by people who take joy in public shaming. it just makes me really uncomfortable.
i also don't buy that this is in any way helpful to her mental health or that it's necessary. this woman is an actress in her own right, and has money. if she felt she was being gaslit and has no control of the situation, she has access to therapists and lawyers. she can confide in her friends and family. tweeting this stuff in public isn't a good coping mechanism.
different strokes i guess. i would literally rather die than have my private life aired out in public like this.

I see both sides to this. Just like with the Chrissy Tiegan still born instagram pictures. I secretly both admire and cringe when people publicly share such private moments. My ex is horrible, and I long to shout it from the highest rooftops, but that's not who I am. My facebook is a way for me to share my child's growth with distant family, mostly maternal, but paternal relatives too. And it's obvious no one in my ex's family (except his immediate family) have any idea that we are separated, or that he is a wretched father. And my ex's immediate family doesn't acknowledge it or inform any of the aunts, uncles or cousins either. So I just ignore the "oh, so happy for you and Mr. Dexter. Tell Mr. Dexter and baby how much we love you all!" stuff. I can only hope that over time the truth comes out. But a small part of me wants to be that blabby type of oversharing person, so I am happy that this woman went ahead and put it all out there, even though I know I won't do it myself.

And it's good gossip and entertainment for us!

[fgg]

violently fired? dang! i need more details on that.

[SHELLEE]

violently fired? dang! i need more details on that.

Yeah, I was wondering about that too.

[weathered1]

This isn't the first time that she tweeted something like this. A few months ago, she also posted a "hypothetical" about what to do if your husband suddenly tells you that he has stopped loving you. That tweet was also deleted rather quickly.

If this is how she needs to deal with whatever is going on, then so be it. It's all rather peculiar, though, and this certainly seems like a bad, unhealthy situation.

[MsDark]

I think if she's being gaslit and played with, he totally deserves this. But...unfortunately this never quite works out like it should. It usually just results in making the victim look like the asshole/bad person and garners the perpetrator sympathy. That's a big reason I wouldn't be able to do it, no matter how deserved it was. Plus I just wouldn't want people knowing my business.

But I understand the reasoning here, if what she's saying is true. It's a way of settling something for good when you're the victim of a person who likes to hold the relationship hostage playing like they're going to leave you....or maybe not....as a way to keep you on your toes. Or whatever the fuck they get out of it. It's cruel. And it does make a person "crazy" after awhile.

I just googled. This dude reminds me of a younger version of Dominic West.

[czb]

Yeah, I was wondering about that too.

ok. the VP of candidate's department (where he used to work) is a major tool. super difficult. blames everyone else, takes no responsibility. candidate was scattered but basically a nice guy. did his job, but maybe not as snappy as VP wanted but definitely acceptable performance. i do think that he & VP just has personality differences and he was abruptly fired. this was 3 days before a very large corporate buyout was announced. so basically this guy's time in service was ended and he didn't reap the same rewards that the other employees did. and at his job grade that would've likely been at least 500k, probably more. so yeah, i consider that violently fired. VP didn't allow him any dignity and she killed his payout. the only way i even knew he was fired was because i was having an email convo with him about some techy stuff in real time. then midstream, his emails bounced back from the server indicating his email address was no longer in the system. so yeah. the money part stinks but that he wasn't even given the opp to say good bye? disgusting.

so i felt bad when my former colleague today asked me about candidate. is he the BEST at what he does? possibly not. but a decent guy and good enough. and i didn't want to underplay him because i feel bad about how he was treated and denied his rightful payout.

[ScoobyDoo]

Unfortunately, from our vantage point, it's hard to tell whether she's truly being gaslit or she just won't accept that he doesn't love her and move on. I have an issue with people who act all devastated when another adult tells them they no longer want to be a part of that relationship. Adults have the right to do that, kids or not. I wish as a society we didn't brainwash people into thinking "soulmates for ever" bullshit. It's kind of not normal.

[levitt]

You have an issue with people who are upset when their relationship ends? Of course people have a right to end a relationship but to expect the other party not to be hurt or devastated by that is totally unrealistic. You can love someone and want them in your life without believing in soulmates - and still be sad when your relationship ends.

[sputnik]

i think it's perfectly normal to be upset. especially when someone leaves you, it's devastating and really hard to accept that someone fell out of love with you. it doesn't necessarily make the other person a villain though, even if we need to tell ourselves that to get over the heartbreak.
but yeah, the more i look at her tweet, the more red flags. it's not just the fact that she's making her private affairs public, but the fact that she says that he 'left his family' seems kind of manipulative. you can leave your spouse and move out of the house but it doesn't mean you're 'leaving your family'. especially when she follows it up with saying that the only reason given was that he doesn't love her anymore. in fact, isn't it really psychologically damaging and manipulative for parents to involve children in their divorce, and for one parent to tell their kids that the other parent left the family, rather than telling kids that the marriage didn't work but it has nothing to do with them and they're still a family? of course we don't know the other side of the story but from the info that is available, she's looking like the manipulative one. and yeah, she may be acting out of heartbreak but being hurt isn't an excuse for shitty behaviour.

also, and this is more of a general thing, i feel like 'gaslighting' is very overused and its meaning not truly understood by all. it's kind of the new 'problematic'.

[levitt]

For what it's worth sput, my post was directed at the poster above me, and not what you said earlier in the thread I will say this - I ended up watching Titanic last night thanks to this thread.

I don't even post relationship statuses on social media, never mind relationship breakups, etc. I'd be updating my status far too often if that was the case...

[sputnik]

For what it's worth sput, my post was directed at the poster above me, and not what you said earlier in the thread I will say this - I ended up watching Titanic last night thanks to this thread.

I don't even post relationship statuses on social media, never mind relationship breakups, etc. I'd be updating my status far too often if that was the case...

oh i know, and my comment was in reference to ScoobyDoo's post and also agreeing with you that it's perfectly normal to be upset.
i can't believe you sat through the interminable titanic lol. i still don't know who he was in titanic but then the only actors i remember from that movie are kate, leo, billy zane and his eyebrows, kathy bates and gloria stewart.

[MohandasKGanja]

I definitely think it's okay to be devastated at the end of a relationship - especially one where the partner either broke it off suddenly (with almost no warning that they were becoming estranged), or you found out that they were cheating on you, etc. I think its unrealistic to expect the blindsided partner to keep it together for the kids. It would be great if that happened, but it really depends on the other person's personality, and even their emotional makeup.

I think the only way gaslighting would enter into this is if the departing partner were completely negating the other person's feelings - accusing them of being a crybaby. Trying to make them complicit in a story to their circle of friends and relatives that this was a mutual thing. Trying to get them to tell a story to the kids that everything is rosy and that this is an amicable parting. That would be a lot of lies and emotion you are asking the other person to swallow, and I think it could lead to unpredictable behavior and suddenly externalizing things. I don't know how much of that is the case here, though.

[SHELLEE]

I've never seen Titanic and never plan to.

[levitt]

oh i know, and my comment was in reference to ScoobyDoo's post and also agreeing with you that it's perfectly normal to be upset.
i can't believe you sat through the interminable titanic lol. i still don't know who he was in titanic but then the only actors i remember from that movie are kate, leo, billy zane and his eyebrows, kathy bates and gloria stewart.

He's the one bloke who takes his lifeboat back to search for people in the water - (SPOILER to people like Shellee who haven't watched it...) he's the one who saves Kate Winslet. I hate that I remembered that even before I watched the movie yesterday.

[ConstanceSpry]

I've never seen Titanic and never plan to.

^^ me neither. That godawful celine dion song put me off it instantly.

What struck me about her tweet is her "leaving the family" crap. These are adults, they need to work out their shit without her trying to make her kids feel abandoned by their father.