Next time, he'll kill you: Is Rihanna the new Nicole Brown Simpson?

**WhoAmI** · March 10th, 2009, 07:43 PM

Former sex-crimes prosecutor and bestselling author Linda Fairstein says Chris Brown remains a serious danger, based on the standards by which experts measure whether a batterer will do it again. How tragic it appears Rihanna may go back to him.

I’ve studied the photograph of Rihanna that was leaked to the media a week after she was assaulted on her way home from a pre-Grammy party in Los Angeles shortly after midnight on February 8. It is impossible to recognize the face of the beautiful singer whose enormous talent had earned her legions of fans worldwide. Her left eye is swollen, discolored, and badly bruised. There are contusions on both sides of her forehead and cheeks, and lacerations on her lips and chin. If we saw any woman we cared about in that condition—daughter, sister, or friend—we would have absolutely no ambivalence about what should happen to her assailant. We’d demand he be locked up immediately, expect a jail sentence after his conviction, and many would want to exact a kind of punishment the criminal justice system doesn’t allow.

Why, then, is the reaction so very different when the assault is alleged to have occurred at the hands of an intimate partner of the victim, rather than a stranger or street predator? In this instance, by another young superstar in the music world who’d been Rihanna’s lover for a year and a half? So much of the public response centered on disbelief that the attacker was Chris Brown—such a clean-cut young man, whose charm and good looks, celebrity endorsements, and dazzling smile should give him a pass for this seemingly uncharacteristic behavior.

Nicole Brown was 18 years old in 1977, when she started dating the famous athlete who would take her life less than 20 years later. Shortly after their relationship began, Nicole documented the first incident of physical abuse by her lover. O.J. Simpson’s charm and good looks, his celebrity endorsements, and his dazzling smile also allowed others—relatives and friends among them—to overlook the escalating violence throughout the couple’s courtship and marriage. There were scores of witnesses to Simpson’s verbally abusive behavior toward Nicole in restaurants and clubs, neighbors often heard him scream threats at his wife, and family members saw photographs that memorialized the beatings he subjected her to—the infamous New Year’s Day assault in 1989—more than five years before her murder in 1994.

Like most victims of intimate partner violence, Nicole Brown called 911 to report her attacks more than eight times before she successfully separated from her husband. Police officers responded to her home on those occasions, sometimes making formal reports of their visits and often—when Nicole herself declined to press charges—left without making any record. At no point did anyone in her family or in law enforcement effect a successful intervention. O.J. Simpson was never arrested for assault, never forced to acknowledge the injury he caused his wife. He was never held accountable for any of the violence he perpetrated against Nicole.

After Rihanna and Chris Brown left the party last month, before reaching home, he is alleged to have argued with her over a text message he received from a former girlfriend. He stopped the car and tried unsuccessfully to push her out, then slammed her head against the window, punching her in the eye and face until she began to spit up blood. Mixed with the battering were threats—that he would "beat the shit" out of her when they got home. (There’s a haunting 911 call Nicole Brown made in 1993—it plays all over the web—when O.J. broke into her home a year after their divorce: “He’s going to beat the shit out of me,” she told the police operator.) Rihanna managed to reach her assistant on her cell, asking the girl to call 911. That triggered another series of punches and a death threat: “Now I’m really going to kill you.” When Rihanna grabbed the car keys, the popular Mr. Brown choked her in a headlock, nearly rendering her unconscious, and bit her fingers as she struggled to get his hands off her neck.

It tore me apart Friday when I heard that Rihanna was already planning to reconcile with her batterer. Maybe she’s too young to know about Nicole Brown. Maybe no one has given her the ugly numbers about intimate partner violence in this country, or talked about the factors that might help her assess the wisdom of her decision to reunite before her assailant has even been arraigned on the charges.

Safe Horizon, the country’s leading victim advocacy organization, keeps statistics that document the tragic numbers of these crimes, which are of epidemic proportion in America. Approximately 1.5 million women in the United States are physically assaulted each year by an intimate partner—that’s one every 15 seconds. Women between the ages of 16 and 24 face the highest rate of intimate partner violence. The American Medical Association estimates that more than one-third of all women seeking emergency medical care are survivors of domestic abuse, the leading cause of injury to women. More than four homicides each day are committed in this country by a partner or former boyfriend/girlfriend.

In the 1980s, law enforcement agencies began to develop ways to assess the likelihood of a batterer’s recidivist tendencies. These "lethality factors"—ways to predict the escalating nature of the violence inflicted on the victim—help police and district attorneys evaluate when to take the decision away from victims who declined to prosecute and move forward with a trial. We know these women's lives are in danger, often, when they choose to stay with their partners despite all the warning signs obvious to those around them.

Has anyone explored those factors with Rihanna? There are rumors that this was not the first time Chris Brown abused her. The danger assessment tools tally previous physical violence; the severity of the instant beating and the injuries sustained (severe and serious); whether choking was involved (yes); whether there were actual threats to kill the victim (yes, according to the police affadavit—a factor alone which makes Rihanna fifteen times more likely to be killed than her peers); the exposure of the perpetrator to intimate violence in his family—something Brown witnessed as a child from the ages of 6 to 13, as he has disclosed publicly. Jealousy, obsession with a partner, drug use—I can only speculate about those issues, but Rihanna knows the answers to whether each of them is part of the equation, and they figure into the assessment. Ignoring the consequences of his actions makes an abuser likely to reoffend. It’s easy to ignore the conduct when your victim forgives you, as Rihanna seems about to do. And the fact that Brown was seen clubbing in Beverly Hills until 3 a.m. the night after his first court appearance might be an indicator of his lack of remorse.

Despite decades of research, we don't know all the reasons that women stay with men who have been so abusive. Many who don't work and have no other means of support are crippled by the lack of options available to them when they try to leave. But these crimes happen in every racial, ethnic, and socioeconomic class. Some women capable of supporting themselves tell us that they love the offender so deeply that they are unable to separate, believing that his behavior will change, or that they did something to provoke the attack and bring it on themselves. In many instances, the partner apologizes and begs for forgiveness. The dynamic of power and control over his victim is reinforced and she remains in place. What is clear from the numbers is that the two most dangerous times for a woman in an abusive relationship are when she attempts to separate from the perpetrator without a successful plan, and when she is pregnant.

The assessment tools can with some degree of reliability identify victims who are at greater risk of being murdered by their intimate partners. O.J. Simpson would have scored off the charts for these lethality measures, had they been available to the people advising Nicole when she declined to prosecute him time after time. I hope Rihanna understands the deadly nature of this victimization, before history repeats itself.

Linda Fairstein, former chief prosecutor of the New York County DA's Office Sex Crimes Unit, is one of America's foremost legal authorities on crimes of violence against women and children. She is also the author of the current New York Times bestselling crime novel Lethal Legacy and a member of the Board of Directors of Safe Horizon.

Next Time, He'll Kill You - The Daily Beast

**cupcake** · March 10th, 2009, 08:12 PM

Robin Givens and Denise Brown are both on Larry King tonight talking about DV.

**McJag** · March 10th, 2009, 08:30 PM

Well,thats chilling.

**WhoAmI** · March 10th, 2009, 08:33 PM

I think she's in even more danger because she apparently acts in a violent manner towards him when she's jealous. Two violent people is just a recipe for murder.

**SpookyGirl** · March 10th, 2009, 08:50 PM

I keep saying this every time I see news that they're back together. "Next time, he'll kill her."

**Novice** · March 11th, 2009, 10:32 AM

Originally Posted by cupcake

Robin Givens and Denise Brown are both on Larry King tonight talking about DV.

Heres the transcript for those that missed it.

(CNN) -- On Tuesday night's "Larry King Live," guest host Joy Behar talked about whether the Rihanna/Chris Brown case sends a dangerous message.

Robin Givens told Joy Behar Tuesday night that details of domestic abuse are often the same.

Among her guests were Robin Givens and Denise Brown. In an emotional interview, Behar examines how domestic abuse starts and why it's hard to stop.
The following transcript has been edited for brevity and clarity:
Guest host Joy Behar: In a "Larry King Live" exclusive, Robin Givens and Denise Brown sound the warning to one quarter of all women who will be kicked, punched, raped, even killed by partners in their life times. ...
We're talking about Rihanna and Chris Brown and the allegations against him.
As you've just heard, the numbers are pretty appalling. Joining me now is someone who lived it: actress, ex-wife of former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson and spokesperson for the National Domestic Violence Hotline, Robin Givens. Greetings.
Robin Givens: Greetings.
Behar: Does this Rihanna/Chris Brown [story] bring up bad memories for you?
Givens: Yes, it does.
Behar: Tell me how you've been feeling lately while you're watching this on television?
Givens: Even sitting now, you know, here with you, it shakes you up. You know, you begin to sweat. You begin to feel sad all over. ... It's hard to sit here.

Watch Givens describe living with abuse »
Don't Miss

Behar. You were saying to me before that it's always the same story. What do you mean by that?
Givens: I've spoken to women every[where]. ... Peoria, El Paso. ... And what's amazing is that I find that my story is their story; their story is my story -- down to the details. He dragged me down the hall by my hair. He pulled me out of bed by my panties. He would like to choke me. He would kick.
When I wrote my book, I was somewhere talking about something. And a woman came up to me and she said I wanted you to stop talking because I felt like everybody would know that you were talking about me.
Behar: Oh, boy. And it's the same progression, too, it seems?
Givens: I was hit for the first time before I was married. And I did what you thought you should do, of course. You know, you don't take any phone calls. Three days, absolutely not. Absolutely not. All of a sudden, you start taking a phone calls.
Behar: Softening up.
Givens: Yes. And then all of a sudden, OK, let's meet and we'll talk. And then you meet and all of a sudden this person, this man that you love, that's claiming his love for you, is crying, you know?
And then you're consoling them. And it just becomes, I'll never, ever, ever do it again. ... I just love you so much. It's so hard for me to handle how much I love you. And it just begins.
Behar: It must have touched you a little bit, too, like here's this big heavyweight champion crying ...
Givens: Yes. ... To see a man crying like that and promising and professing his love, I thought well, he must love me. ...
Behar: In the fall of that year, you and Mike sat down with Barbara Walters to talk about the relationship. Here's an excerpt:
Barbara Walters, host: What's it been like, this roller coaster?
Givens: It's been torture. It's been pure hell. It's been worse than anything I could possibly imagine. ... He shakes. He pushes. He swings. Sometimes I think he's trying to scare me.
Behar: That is a most interesting moment in that interview, which I've seen many times. What was going on in your head during that interview?
Givens: Well, I was so numb. Barbara knew what was going on in our lives and encouraged me to be honest. I wanted to be honest and thought it would help other people. ...
Behar: By the way, he [Tyson] was never convicted of anything?
Givens: No. ... It's interesting, though. He had done an interview somewhere. ... I don't know specifically, but [he said] the best punch he ever threw was against me and that he punched me in the head and I bounced from one wall to the other.
Behar: After the interview [with Walters], though, you stayed with him.
Givens: Yes.
Behar: Why did you stay with him?
Givens: Well, he had said that he was going to get help. And I loved him. I wanted to make it work. I was very bonded. And it's hard to be bonded and save yourself at the same time.
Behar: One of the most influential women in the world used her considerable power to speak up about domestic abuse. Here's what Oprah Winfrey had to say.
Winfrey: Heal yourself first. And, also, love doesn't hurt. I've been saying this to women for years, love doesn't hurt. ... And if a man hits you once, he will hit you again. ... He will hit you again.
Behar: If Oprah was speaking to you, too, call the National Domestic Violence Hot Line now. The number is 1-800-799-SAFE. That's 1-800-799-7233. ...
Denise Brown's sister was Nicole Brown. We all know Nicole Brown Simpson, O.J. Simpson's former wife. Greetings, Denise. How are you?
Denise Brown: I am doing great. And I'm listening to all this information that you guys are talking about and it's amazing. It's so great to get out there. You talk about the dirty little secret. And it is. It's just that -- a dirty little secret. And then you're talking about what Oprah said -- if they hit you once, they'll hit you again.
You can even go one step further, Joy, and you can say if they hit you once, they'll hit you again. And if they ever threaten to kill you, eventually one day they will. ...
You know, it's the cycle of domestic violence, which is about the power and control of one human being over another -- the verbal, the emotional, the psychological abuse, you know, the chipping away at one's self-esteem.
I'm sure you heard it, Robin: you know, nobody is going to want you. I'm the best thing for you.
Givens: Um-hmm.
Brown: And then that escalates into the physical violence, which is the hitting, the kicking, the punching, throwing up against the walls. And then, of course, [comes] the honeymoon phase. And that's the 'oh, baby, I'm so sorry. It's never going to happen again.'
Givens: She's absolutely right. The woman -- every woman tells the same story.
Behar: If you read the Internet now, there's some hostility toward Rihanna. They're saying she provoked Chris. What do you make of that?
Givens: I don't know why that is. I mean I don't know why in our society that is, that we blame the victim.
Brown: Battery treatment programs is what people need. I spoke to a gentleman, Dr. Donald Dutton. He wrote a book, "The Batterer." He said right now, it would take three years for people that are batterers to get that mindset to change.
And I'm sure that's even more. And our society does not take it serious enough ... until, of course, there's a murder or there's a celebrity or something of that nature, which is really sad.

Givens: The one thing I'd like to say to Rihanna, actually; as difficult as this all is, she does not have to answer to the media. She doesn't have to explain it. She has to take care of herself.
Behar: Thank you all very much. Go to CNN.com/LarryKing if you have something to say about domestic abuse. If you need help, there are resources listed there for you. Don't wait. Get help now.

Robin Givens: My story is Rihanna's story - CNN.com

**qwerty** · March 11th, 2009, 10:35 AM

Even if Rihanna wisens up and leaves Chris Brown, unless she gets a handle on her self esteem issues, she'll just allow another Chris Brown into her life. It's just an endless cycle.

Her lack of self esteem will be the death of her not these broken men per se.

I sincerely hope that she is in therapy. The woman's got severe issues. I have to feel badly for her and all the other mentally and physically abused women out there.

**Sweetie** · March 11th, 2009, 10:35 AM

Who gives a rats ass. Let him beat her, kill her, or whatever. She knows what she's got on her hands and what's he's capable of doing.

She made her OWN bed.

**chattykathy** · March 11th, 2009, 10:36 AM

The sad thing is, if eveyone keeps telling Rihanna she is stupid for staying, she is MORE likely too, because then she will feel like he is the only one on her side. Domestic abuse victims usually have mental abuse, as well.

**Mel1973** · March 11th, 2009, 10:36 AM

Originally Posted by Sweetie

Who gives a rats ass. Let him beat her, kill her, or whatever. She knows what she's got on her hands and what's he's capable of doing.

She made her OWN bed.

and now she better figure out whether she wants to climb in that motherfucker or set it on fire...

**aabbcc** · March 11th, 2009, 12:55 PM

Originally Posted by Mel1973

and now she better figure out whether she wants to climb in that motherfucker or set it on fire...

Cue made-for-tv movie starring Farrah Fawcett.

**crumpet** · March 11th, 2009, 02:37 PM

Does anyone besides me find it challenging to believe Robin Givens really loved Mike Tyson? He is an ass or giant proportions for so many reasons, but I just never saw how a smart woman like her could find that dumb, ugly, squeaky voiced thing appealing. I always thought it was his money and status.

**Mel1973** · March 11th, 2009, 02:42 PM

I never thought she gave a squirt of rat's piss about that illiterate mofo. She used him and I actually did think he loved her ....

**sluce** · March 11th, 2009, 02:44 PM

I believe she loved him. Most men like Mike are also damaged little kids inside. Once they get a woman in a relationship the woman turns into his everything - his lover, his best friend, his social worker, his mother. That is a very powerful set of emotions and responsibilities and some woman want to be that needed. The man opens up and shares every little detail and tells the woman he has never felt this safe with anyone but her. She feels power and a connection she believes she can never have with anyone else. Then he starts the abuse. Each time he explains it is because of what he went through in life and he would never hurt her again. The woman needs to be needed and has to believe she is the answer to all of his problems. She loses the ability to focus on herself and puts all of her energy into helping him and being good so she won't cause him anymore pain. It's a sick cycle.