Shauna Sand on her new chariot

**Honey** · January 28th, 2009, 07:50 PM

Behold! The Empress of Lucite can do anything with her powerful exquisite lucite heels on. She can walk a Kim Zolciak tightrope, she can waltz over hot coals, she can glide on quicksand and she can even ride a Segway. Wait. When Shauna rides a Segway, its name is automatically changed to a So-Ele-Gant-Way.
I know you're thinking that Shauna should be able to float on her magical lucite heels without a Segway, but again, she has a truly giving heart. Even Mother Theresa up in heaven is astonished by her selflessness. Because she is the Mother Theresa of Lucite, Shauna only used that Segway to give new life to it. You see, Shauna's French slave Romain wanted to rent a Segway so that he could float along with his Empress. When they arrived at the rental place, Shauna was immediately attracted to a broken down Segway. It sat there, sad and defeated. The rental ho said, "You don't want that one! It won't work. It's a piece of shit!" When Shauna placed one of her heels of magic on it, the thing suddenly sprang to life and danced around like it was new again. So Shauna took IT for a ride, so it could feel what it's like to be alive again. Just one more time. It's a touching story, isn't it?
Not only is Shauna the most beautiful and elegant woman in the universe, but she also finds love in her lucite heart for all things including broken down Segways.

The Empress Of Lucite On Her New Chariot | Dlisted

**Laurent** · January 28th, 2009, 07:53 PM

And me thinking she couldn't possibly turn the jackassery up a notch.

WTF are the point of Segways?

**msdeb** · January 28th, 2009, 08:01 PM

she's such a useless human being.

**taymarie** · January 28th, 2009, 08:03 PM

^ I second that!

**Bombshell** · January 28th, 2009, 08:04 PM

Originally Posted by Laurent

WTF are the point of Segways?

To keep you from getting giant blisters from dumb assed shoes.

**buttmunch** · January 28th, 2009, 08:05 PM

Segways are for lazy fucks who aren't willing to get their fat asses in gear and walk a bit. Now, who is this person?

**witchcurlgirl** · January 28th, 2009, 08:05 PM

she should special order a lucite segway

**ManxMouse** · January 28th, 2009, 08:18 PM

Minus her ridiculous blimplants, she literally has the body of an 8 year-old girl. It is so creepy and gross.

**heart_leigh** · January 28th, 2009, 08:18 PM

Jeez, what is up with her and those hooker heels? And who the hell wears heels on a segway? Oh yeah, her.

**Penny Lane** · January 28th, 2009, 08:21 PM

She can turn tricks on the corner twice as fast now!

**mizglam** · January 28th, 2009, 08:44 PM

She looks ridiculous.

**sweetness** · January 28th, 2009, 09:51 PM

Originally Posted by ManxMouse

Minus her ridiculous blimplants, she literally has the body of an 8 year-old girl. It is so creepy and gross.

Her hoohaw is also creepy and gross.

It's apparently the only part she hasn't had surgery on. Yet.

**angelais** · January 28th, 2009, 10:21 PM

Have you noticed this guy looks like Lorenzo Lamas? (at least with the shades on)

How does she not just snap her ankles in two walking in those shoes?