Sopranos actor, John Costello, dead in apparent suicide

**Honey** · December 27th, 2008, 04:11 AM

Bobby Bank/WireImage

John Costello, 47, the actor who played the gay lover of a closeted mobster on The Sopranos, has died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound, the Associated Press reported.
Police were called to the actor's residence in Brooklyn on Dec. 18, after family members were unable to reach him, police spokesman Lt. John Grimpel told the AP.
Costello played cook Jim (Johnny Cakes) Witowski on a four-episode arc on The Sopranos in 2006.
"I was shocked when I heard, and it still hasn't really sunk in," former Sopranos cast mate and longtime pal Joseph Gannascoli told the New York Post. "I never detected anything troubling about him. I enjoyed all the time I ever spent with him."
Costelloe worked 11 years as a firefighter in Brooklyn before retiring in 1998.
Sopranos alum Steve Buscemi and Gannascoli attended the wake and funeral according to the New York Post.

Usmagazine.com | News - Sopranos Actor Dead in Apparent Suicide

**Sasha** · December 27th, 2008, 07:38 AM

That's terrible.

RIP.

**GoldDust77** · December 27th, 2008, 02:11 PM

This is so very sad. I really enjoyed his work/his role on "The Sopranos". Very, very tragic.

R.I.P.

**sluce** · December 27th, 2008, 03:22 PM

That sucks especially for his family. Suicide is so selfish. I hate it when they refer to a person as "Sopranos Actor" when he was only a bit part in 4 episodes. Guess that was his entire body of work. Sadly they list 11 years as a firefighter as an after thought.

**joker321** · December 27th, 2008, 04:59 PM

Originally Posted by sluce

That sucks especially for his family. Suicide is so selfish. I hate it when they refer to a person as "Sopranos Actor" when he was only a bit part in 4 episodes. Guess that was his entire body of work. Sadly they list 11 years as a firefighter as an after thought.

Why is suicide selfish to you??? please explain.

Some people just don't want to be here for different reasons and somtimes family can't always help, but we will never know. That is my understanding of suicide.

**Sarzy** · December 27th, 2008, 05:04 PM

I don't think it's fair to say it's selfish. Who knows the situation here and what he was going through.

**southernbelle** · December 27th, 2008, 05:23 PM

I've known two people who committed suicide, and I feel it is selfish because it's devastating to the family and friends. Many of those people will spend the rest of their lives wondering if there was anything they could have done to prevent it, or feeling personally responsible in some way.

I do realize that some people who commit suicide don't properly understand the effect it will have on their loved ones, either due to mental illness or substance abuse.

**GawsipRawksz** · December 27th, 2008, 06:00 PM

to say suicide is a selfish act is a gross oversimplification. there are so many factors to consider, such as the reason for suicide, steps taken to overcome said problem, and in some cases where the person committing suicide feels as if they are doing a favor to their friends/family.

**viggofan** · December 27th, 2008, 06:15 PM

good lord that is terrible. RIP

**mizglam** · December 27th, 2008, 08:04 PM

How horrible.
RIP

**kingcap72** · December 27th, 2008, 08:23 PM

Suicide is never a real option, but I don't think anybody can call suicide 'selfish.' I had a relative commit suicide, and it's rough on the people left behind because you have so many unanswered questions. But I never thought that she was being 'selfish.'

The fact is, if somebody has sunk so low that they feel that it's too painful for them to go on living and they mistakenly believe that suicide is the only option to just expect them to keep on living for the ones who would be left behind is really being 'selfish.' That's basically saying that you should go on living for other people's sake but not your own.

**KrisNine** · December 28th, 2008, 11:22 AM

Originally Posted by kingcap72

Suicide is never a real option, but I don't think anybody can call suicide 'selfish.' I had a relative commit suicide, and it's rough on the people left behind because you have so many unanswered questions. But I never thought that she was being 'selfish.'

The fact is, if somebody has sunk so low that they feel that it's too painful for them to go on living and they mistakenly believe that suicide is the only option to just expect them to keep on living for the ones who would be left behind is really being 'selfish.' That's basically saying that you should go on living for other people's sake but not your own.

This pretty much sums up how I feel. My uncle committed suicide and it was tough on everyone left behind. Still, eventually I was able to take comfort in the fact that he was no longer suffering.

**kingcap72** · December 28th, 2008, 12:01 PM

Originally Posted by KrisNine

This pretty much sums up how I feel. My uncle committed suicide and it was tough on everyone left behind. Still, eventually I was able to take comfort in the fact that he was no longer suffering.

That's the way I feel about my aunt. For years, everyone in my family blamed my uncle for making her life a living hell and driving her into the depression that led to the suicide. But then we all realized that it was her choice to stay with him, and her choice to take her life, so we all stopped hating him. Now, we all just try to remember the good times we had with her and don't dwell on the suicide because we'll never know what drove her to it.

**Sasha** · December 28th, 2008, 12:46 PM

I went to High School with a guy who hanged himself in his barn. It devastated everyone at our school and no one ever figured out why he did it. He seemed to have it all: looks, brains, tons of friends, a sweet and loving girlfriend, and wonderful supportive parents and brother. It was mind-boggling that he would do this to himself, but no one ever knows what goes on in the hearts and minds of others. We just wished that he felt he could talk to someone.

**nycgirl** · December 28th, 2008, 01:54 PM

Isn't it more selfish to want someone to go on living for you than to commit it in the first place? Not to mention most people who commit suicide don't understand the impact it will have on their loved ones, they mostly think about ending their pain.

Although you would probably have to ask those who have survived suicide attempts to really understand their state of mind.