I just attended an exclusive screening of the first 33 minutes of the hotly anticipated upcoming MTV documentary,
Britney: For the Record, premiering on Nov. 30 at 10 p.m. Shot over three months following her performance at this year's VMAs, the 90-minute film offers a candid look inside
Britney Spears' personal and professional life. Among other highlights, you'll see the remarkably isolated entertainer at home eating cheese grits (cooked by her dad) on the morning of the VMAs; getting stalked by paparazzi; shooting the video for "
Womanizer;" meeting with her management team and record label about her new CD,
Circus (out Dec. 2); dissing
Katie Holmes' style while shopping in New York; talking about how she envies
Jessica Alba for being able to go grocery shopping with her baby without getting mobbed by photographers; and insisting that she's not a victim of her success while admitting that she often feels like a prisoner. Here are a few juicy soundbites.
On
Justin Timberlake and
Kevin Federline (whom she refers to as "my babies' daddy"):
"With Justin, he was a part of the magnitude of what I had become. So when he was gone I was like, What am I supposed to do with myself? I was devastated [by the breakup] but I handled it a lot better than the [split] with Kevin....He started to do an album for himself and he started to do things for himself, and I just never saw him anymore....When it ended I felt so alone. I didn't really wanna think about the reality of it. I never faced it....I just ran."
On recovering from her 2007 meltdown:
"My trust has really been battered....Sometimes it can get kinda lonely....I had totally lost my way. I lost focus. I lost myself. I let certain people into my life that were just bad people...because I was lonely....I really paid the consequences for that. Big time....What the hell was I thinking?"
On fame:
"At first, it's amazing, the first year or two, because it's like, I'm a celebrity!....It didn't really touch me until I had been working for six years....I wanted to just stop. I wanted to create a new life."
On the current state of her life:
"Do I know my life is weird? It's all I've ever known. I don't see it as being weird....I'm kind of stuck in this place and I'm like, How do you deal? I just cope with it every day....It's better not to feel anything at all and have hope than to feel the other way....It's bad. I'm sad." She breaks down into tears. Later, she complains that her life is too in control these days: "It's like Groundhog Day every day. It's really boring....Normal is really different for everybody....In my situation, I try to make it as normal as possible for me....It could be a lot worse. There are people out there who have it a lot worse than I do....I used to be a cool chick but I feel like the paparazzi has taken that away from me, like, the way I used to live my life. I used to be a cool chick but I'm not anymore."
First look: MTV's 'Britney: For the Record' | Music News | Margeaux's Mix | EW.com
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