May 22nd, 2008, 11:36 AM
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#1 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: trying to figure it all out
Posts: 11,076
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Paris Hilton says she'll be a mother next year
Whore Of A Mother
The world is going to end in 2009. It has to. That's when Wonky McValtrex plans to breed. Wonky is currently " in love" with Benji Madden and she told Heat magazine (via SF Chronicle) that she wants to start a family next year. Wonk said, " I do want a baby. Pretty soon. Not yet because I'm so busy, but next year."
I'm sure she'll name herp baby Jean, after Jean Harlow. Always copying Nicole Richie!
Benji's love has also turned Wonky into some kind of domestic. A source told E! that the two spend most of their nights at home. Wonky even cooks for him. The source said, "The two stay home as much as they can, cooking dinners and just hanging out. She makes him her specialty dish, lasagna, and he loves it."
Lasagna in " wonk talk" means something totally different. It's probably some nasty sex act involving dirty tampons and dick cheese.
Here's Wonky buying dumb shit in Los Angeles yesterday. Whore Of A Mother | Dlisted
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May 22nd, 2008, 11:42 AM
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#2 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: England
Posts: 2,085
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Lets hope she doesn't leave the poor baby in her closet when she goes out.
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May 22nd, 2008, 11:44 AM
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#3 (permalink)
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Gold Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Israel
Posts: 1,102
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Scary 
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May 22nd, 2008, 11:44 AM
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#4 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Suffocating under a manatyy
Posts: 7,514
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^Sadly, I can see her doing that, and not even asking about it when she comes home. Maybe it would be for the best if her baby is raised by the nanny.
__________________
Pretty today, dying tomorrow. Carpe diem.
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May 22nd, 2008, 11:46 AM
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#5 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Over the hills and far away
Posts: 8,691
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I pity her future children.
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"And though the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea." - Ten Years Gone
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May 22nd, 2008, 12:09 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Watching the sun set over Lake Superior.
Posts: 9,731
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Not yet because I'm so busy ...
Busy doing what? Being annoying?
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Dirty little secrets. Dirty little lies. We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie. We love to cut you down to size. We love dirty laundry. ~ Don Henley
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May 22nd, 2008, 12:15 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: at large
Posts: 2,933
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aabbcc
Not yet because I'm so busy ...
Busy doing what? Being annoying?
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Hey, it's a living. 
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May 22nd, 2008, 12:34 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,830
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It's like she's going to order a baby or something. She is revolting.
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May 22nd, 2008, 12:38 PM
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#9 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Suffocating under a manatyy
Posts: 7,514
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I bet her kids will be proud of all the sex tapes she made.
__________________
Pretty today, dying tomorrow. Carpe diem.
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May 22nd, 2008, 12:40 PM
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#10 (permalink)
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Silver Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 449
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Please oh please, let whatever Higher Power is up there make her infertile.
__________________
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and stars, you have a right to be here. ~Desiderata~
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May 22nd, 2008, 01:51 PM
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#11 (permalink)
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Gold Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: The glaring light of a ghetto bird
Posts: 1,352
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I wonder if the baby daddy knows of her 'plan'. Guess he does now 
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May 22nd, 2008, 01:52 PM
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#12 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Syracuse NY
Posts: 16,762
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If there is a god, this will not happen, EVER.
__________________
Have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up!
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May 22nd, 2008, 01:53 PM
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#13 (permalink)
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Silver Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Southeast
Posts: 401
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That's going to be a pretty ugly baby
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May 22nd, 2008, 01:54 PM
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#14 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,494
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...what child in its right mind would wanna swim down THAT canal.....kind of like that other Love Canal that involved a city in New York that was built over toxic waste.....
Hey!,.......that could be a great name for the kid.....Toxic Waste.....
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May 22nd, 2008, 02:12 PM
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#15 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 2,044
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SpookyGirl
Please oh please, let whatever Higher Power is up there make her infertile.
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Does the herpez make you infertile? You may have already gotten your wish.
__________________
It really is sick fun watching her - who needs tv while amy lives!-TaffyMoon
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