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Thread: Jessica Alba and her voodoo bracelets

  1. #1
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Default Jessica Alba and her voodoo bracelets

    Monday, April 14th 2008
    Remove Bracelet And Face Death




    MiserAlba gave guests at her baby shower a lovely leather bracelet with the words "life, love, health, et cetera" written on it. They were asked to put on the bracelet before saying a prayer together. Page Six reports the guests were then told not to take off the bracelet until MiserAlba's baby is born. WHAT!?

    You know that's some voodoo shit! The prayer probably consisted of the words "Feel Alba's Misery, Feel Alba's Misery." They had to say it over and over again. MiserAlba doesn't want to be miserable alone, so now she's making her friends and family feel her pain. If you take off the bracelet, MiserAlba will bust through the window and unleash her inner rage on you.

    Here's Alba with "only in it for the" Cash Warren in Los Angeles the other day.

    Dlisted | Be Very Afraid
    Ehhhh, okay.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

  2. #2
    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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    Haha She's dead scary, I'd probably do as I was told

  3. #3
    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    what an odd request. she's odd anyway
    Basic rule of Gossip Rocks: Don't be a dick.Tati
    Lighten Up Francis WCG

  4. #4
    Elite Member Bijoux's Avatar
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    Jesus! How old is she?! Fucking bracelts?!

    Good grief!

  5. #5
    Elite Member Laxmobster's Avatar
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    Maybe it's like a game, whoever has the #13 on their bracelet gets to keep the baby... Cause we all know MiserAlba cannot be good for it, is misery contagious???
    Quote Originally Posted by Celestial View Post
    I also choose to believe the rumors because I am, when it is all said and done, a dirty gossip.

  6. #6
    Elite Member cmmdee's Avatar
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    ^^ Hahahahahaha.

  7. #7
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    I just noticed she's wearing an engagement ring in that pic, I thought they had called it off.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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