Perez Hilton hates me for this - man pregnant with Perez Hilton’s love child

staralicious · April 12th, 2008, 12:33 AM

With the recent litigation stories floating around about Perez, I am sure Perez HIlton will hate me for this post. I thought people on here would get a kick out of it though.

Man Pregnant With Perez Hilton’s Love Child

This is the first picture of the man, pregnant with Perez Hilton’s love child.

The couple, who have been trying unsuccessfully for months to become pregnant have praised Paris Hilton for giving them the courage to go ahead with their plans.

Says Perez:

“A child is something Jeremy and I have wanted for a long time; every other bitch in Hollywood is having one, so why not us?
Initially we looked into adoption, but that is a very difficult path to go down for a gay couple, so I thought, why not just have our own the natural way.
At first we were kind of worried what people would say, but Paris was really great.
I asked her straight,” “Paris, what do you think about Jeremy having my love child?”

You know what she said?

“That’s cool!”
After that, we just had to give it our best shot and went at it like a couple of kids on prom night.

Of course, for two men, having a child naturally creates a few problems itself and after months of trying unsuccessfully, we were getting so down about it all.

To be honest the whole thing was becoming one big pain in the ass, but I kept telling Jeremy that we couldn’t stop.

I’ll spare you all the details, but basically through perseverance and a lot of lubricant, we have been blessed with Jeremy becoming pregnant.”

After the initial difficulty of getting pregnant, Perez said the pregnancy itself has been relatively trouble free.

“We have been going to Lamaze classes together and I can tell you, we get some strange looks, but I am used to that. Generally everyone has been really good about it.

Jeremy looks great too; sure he has gained a few pounds, but I told him, he was always on the skinny side, so the extra weight looks good on him. He has even got that pregnant glow thing going.

Jeremy wants to have a natural birth, which I think is great but the doctors are trying to talk us into having a caesarian, as they’re not quite sure where it will come out if we opt for the natural method.

I just can’t wait for the baby to come; I think it will really bond our relationship and can only be a good thing”

All is not as rosy as it seems though, insiders are saying the doctors are unable to determine the sex of the child, with some privately fearing the child may be afflicted with what is commonly referred to as the Michael Jackson syndrome, (Indeterminate gender) let’s hope not, as that is something the World doesn’t need more of.

After the birth, Jeremy reportedly intends to breast feed the child and can’t wait to start lactating, which he is sure won’t be too far off. He has already gone up to an A-cup.

Perez is said to have several magazines bidding for the first pictures of the happy couple and child.

P.S. This was my April Fool's Joke

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