Jennifer Aniston STILL can't get vag-pounded by gay elves or penis-noses

**Grimmlok** · April 11th, 2008, 12:49 PM

Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom almost went to first base. But didn't. (Crickets). They were at this charity event in L.A. together over two weeks ago, and Ok! is finally ready to reveal that they totally hugged. Ya, like HANDS. ON. BACKS. What's more, Jen looked at Orlando "like she wanted to grab him and make out with him!," according to a witness who definitely wasn't reading into the situation.

Back in the real world, Jen was hobnobbing with her fellow A-List elite last Saturday during a break from shooting the dog comedy Marley & Me in Miami. She joined Owen Wilson, his incredibly high friend Woody Harrelson, and a party of 20 for dinner at the Coral Bar. Jen and Owen hung-out, but "it was definitely more of a friends vibe," a witness says. A Friends vibe? Like pet monkeys and kooky songs about cat odour? The second golden era has arrived!

Jen: Fellowship of the Fling? : Dramarama : CelebEdge : Sympatico / MSN

Poor chiniston.

**ana-mish-ana** · April 11th, 2008, 12:57 PM

Jennifer Aniston STILL can't get vag-pounded by gay elves or penis-noses

**panda** · April 11th, 2008, 01:00 PM

fellow A list elite? PLEASE!

**Sasha** · April 11th, 2008, 01:03 PM

Maybe she doesn't want to get her vag pounded by gay elves or penis noses. I know I don't.

**Grimmlok** · April 11th, 2008, 01:04 PM

No no, it's been very well established that Chiniston is willing to get pounded by anything (including boozy eyebags Vince Vaughn) but in reality just doesn't have what the menfolk are looking for.

You know, like a vagina empty of sand.

**Just Kill Me** · April 11th, 2008, 01:12 PM

How did her vagina get sandy again? I thought it was just dusty... oh and non existent. I'm still convinced she's a hermaphrodite.

**Grimmlok** · April 11th, 2008, 01:14 PM

it hoovered up some beach sand to ward off any other men (yeah right) who try to get close to it, because it doesn't want to get hurt like when Brad lotioned his peen and stuck it in Veingelina's crabhole.

**Sasha** · April 11th, 2008, 01:17 PM

^^oooh, harsh!

**kingcap72** · April 11th, 2008, 02:39 PM

Mr. Aniston's vagina has more twists and secrets than the Crying Game.

**Belt Up** · April 11th, 2008, 02:46 PM

And the award for funniest thread title, goes to................

**WesCAdle** · April 11th, 2008, 03:34 PM

Ha ha ha Grimmlok you have outdone yourself with this title! The chin is destined to be the Sahara of love. Hey maybe VH1 can give her a reality show since Paris' BFF search doesn't seem to be going very well.